Safe Sex - Sometimes?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 1:13 PM GMT
    I finally decided to post a forum about something that has been bothering me for awhile. What do realjock members mean when they say they "sometimes" practice safe sex.

    I am HIV+, I have been for nearly 13 years. When I was sexually active I always practiced what was considered safe sex, and still got infected. I cannot think of a single event in my life that changed everything so radically. It changed how I viewed life, how I thought people viewed me, my prospects for finding a soul mate, etc.. I cannot fathom not trying to minimize the chances of getting this disease.

    On AfterElton.com I commented that saying you practice safe sex sometimes was equivalent to boarding an aircraft that had a sign at the door which said "sometimes flown by a professional pilot". Would you enter the airplane? Not likely. Maybe not a totally fair comparison, but you get my drift.

    So what do guys mean about practicing safe sex sometimes? Does that mean you do not use a condom for anal sex if you have both tested negative?

    Let me know, I promise I won't judge you, I just want to understand what guys are thinking.

    Thanks
    Jonathan
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 16, 2008 3:29 PM GMT
    Tq Jon, for bringing my favorites subject. What I considered safe sex now is different than what I use to believe. Not after joining Real Jock and getting more inform about the danger of low risk sex like oral sex.

    For the last 12 years I have stop from barebacking but I continue to give oral sex condomless until last month afer a real good discussion in this forum. I abstained from bottoming ever since I am 19 however I have redo it again with proper protection a couple of week ago.

    I dont think there such this as safe sex "SOMETIME" . How do you know, that sometime could be you unlucky day, that you get infected. I have not been tested and I dont trust any men (especially stranger) who claim he is negative. Even people who is negative could just get infected and the test still come back negative due to the small amount of HIV virus in their bloodstream. I find out safe sex is as good as unsafe sex. I have peace of mind and I am not nervous while sucking that d--k.

    SAFE SEX SOMETIME IS AS DANGEROUS AS UNSAFE SEX.

    ZAK








































































































































































































































































































































  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 4:54 PM GMT
    Give me a
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    T
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 5:21 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidGive me a
    I
    D
    I
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    T


    icon_lol.gif

  • camofchris

    Posts: 73

    Feb 16, 2008 5:24 PM GMT
    First, 'safe sex' is a nice idea, but let's face it: it doesn't exist. Sex is raw. It's dirty. It's risky. Condoms help mitigate (no eliminate) the risks for those involved.

    I don't think your comparison is far off, actually. Only takes one moment for infection to occur, so it seems spotty safe sex practices are just as risky as not practicing safe sex at all.

    It amazes me how many dudes mess around without cover just solely based on someone stating they're not positive.

    Honestly, even with a test . . . there's no way to know for sure, so why take the extra risk?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 16, 2008 6:10 PM GMT
    Hey Jonathan,

    It's bothersome for sure. Some consider it an odds game. Some guys STILL believe they can tell by looking at at person whether or not they are positive, or may have other STIs -- CRAZY stupid.

    I practice safe sex (condom) while having anal sex, top or bottom. I chose not to use a condom during oral sex, which is a risk-behavior, but comparitively low. My partner is positive, but his viral load is still undetectable. His health and mine are monitored closely, with labs (him) and regular HIV screening (me). I do not brush or floss 3 hours before or after oral sex, and we do not ejaculate in each other's mouths. Again, not no-risk, but helps lessen the risk of infection.

    So, I guess some would consider my safe sex practices "sometimes" too.

    If you wouldn't mind, I'd love a private message exhange to discuss how you practiced safer sex but were still infected. As you can imagine, it's a concern of mine.

    Be well,
    Jon
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 17, 2008 11:54 AM GMT
    Jon,
    Count me in. It concern me to.
    zak
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 12:22 PM GMT
    I would have to agree that it's very concerning when you sometimes talk to people or check their profile and they say or write that they only practice safe some of the time. It's a reall turn off and it makes me wonder about a person.

    This is a repeated thread because a few weeks ago something like this was posted. I like to have sex as much as the next guy (who doesn't) but I'm not willing to place myself in a compromising situation that would put me in harms way nor would I do it to someone else.
    I get tested and stay constant with it even though I'm not having sex.

    Guys amaze me when they show no respect for themselves or others when it comes to sex. How hard is it to slip on a condom? Takes only a few seconds and those lame excuses like "it feels better raw" or "I'm allergic so it's better raw" are clearly stupid and irresponsible in character.

    I once pulled the "condom test" on a guy to see how long it would take him before he used protection. To make it worse he had none in his house. Needless to say the night ended early and I left only later to recieve a phone call with him asking why I decided to leave early. I said to him "The reason I left was simple. You weren't thinking about my safety nor yours and I can't fool arond with a person who won't consider my safety." Then I said have a good night and hung up.

    Bottom line. Don't be a fool, wrap your tool.
    practice preventative maintainence
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 2:06 PM GMT
    At what point can you trust someone to have sex without a condom?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 2:23 PM GMT
    I don't put a condom on my partner when I give him a blowjob, but we are in a monogamous relationship. Obviously he puts one on (actually two) if we engage in anal intercourse.

    I also will not french kiss him if I have a cut in my mouth, just in case.

    I will not allow him to give me a blowjob without a condom on. That is not a hardship for me because I find a blowjob without a condom uncomfortable after awhile. He isn't crazy about the taste of the latex though.

    The scary thing about some gay people in this day and age, is there are some that do not believe HIV causes AIDS. That blows my mind. I was communicating with a gay person recently whose first anal intercourse experience was unprotected (he was the top which is less risky). He said his sexual partner (who was older) "did not believe in AIDS". Now the disease is a quasi-religion for f**k sakes.

    For those of us from a certain generation it is like the nightmare of the 1980's and early 90's never happened. Very strange and disturbing.