MIXED SIGNALS. I'm CONFUSED! Is he gay or isn't he???

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    Aug 06, 2010 1:15 AM GMT
    So, I've been going to the same gym for a few months now. I usually go around the same time everyday. So, for the most part I see a lot of the same people everyday I go. There is a HOT guy I see there a couple of times a week. We've been exchanging long glances for a couple of months now. Also he'll find a way to workout in my line of eyesight, and I can just feel his eyes on me at all times. In the recent weeks he started to acknowledge me with a smile and a head nod, and I do the same. I have also observed him chatting with some men at the gym who are obviously gay. My gaydar is usually on point, so I thought I had him figured out with all these slight indications. Then he goes and throws me for a loop. Yesterday he caught my eye and came over and started to talk to me for the first time. He introduced himself and said he was a manager at a strip club. He said the manager wanted to change the atmosphere to more of a hip hop/pop vibe. He then proceeds to give me 5 VIP passes to a STRAIGHT strip club, and told me to stop in. I was like, HUH??? lol... That's not the kicker though. I go home and do some research. The website that's on the VIP card doesn't exist. I guess because it's new. So, then I use my trusty friend google who has never failed me. The name does not bring up any results, so I search the address. Come to find out just as recently as a couple of months ago it was a gay dance club/go-go bar! I wonder was he the manager then? Did he want me to find that out? Hmmm I'M CONFUSED! Guys where should I go from here??? I'm very intrigued! Next time I see him what should I do? What questions should I ask? Could he be a gay guy working as female strip club manager? Is he trying to figure me out? Or is he trying to let me know he is not gay? He really threw me for a loop here guys. Any suggestions on how to approach this would be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
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    Aug 06, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Go to the stripperz!Have fun icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 06, 2010 2:46 AM GMT
    wish I knew what to say, am having the confusion with a guy at my gym.
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    Aug 06, 2010 2:52 AM GMT
    I say if you're interested, the next time he strikes up a conversation ask if he'd like to go get a coffee or smoothies or whatever after you finish the workout. Then you can have a upfront chat. Maybe it's just me but I hate the whole cat and mouse game. I'd just cut to the chase and find out. What have you got to lose? Looks like you can take care of yourself if he gets rubbed the wrong way.
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    Aug 06, 2010 2:54 AM GMT
    Ask him to hang out.
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    Aug 06, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    I agree. Ask him to hang out sometime. He could be bi, he could be gay, but either way he obviously won't be the kind of guy who would be offended by you asking him out, so the worst you risk is a "no thanks."
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    Aug 06, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    you have some good advice already...
    if your gut tells you he's interested, ask him to grab a coffee or something to eat after the gym sometime

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    Aug 06, 2010 3:53 AM GMT
    Thanks guys! I am gonna take your advice and go for it. We'll see what happens.
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    Aug 06, 2010 4:05 AM GMT
    PHXblkJOCK saidThanks guys! I am gonna take your advice and go for it. We'll see what happens.

    Be sure to let us know how it goes! Good luck!
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    Aug 06, 2010 5:10 AM GMT
    Scandalous.. haha I love your story.

    I don't know man, go straight to the point, sort of speak.

    Ask him you googled the address and explain. While you're at it, tell him you're gay.
  • NyRuinz

    Posts: 887

    Aug 06, 2010 6:48 AM GMT
    You could just take a little time to feel him out a little more, you never know with guys at the gym.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:58 PM GMT
    what hapenned?
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    Aug 07, 2010 7:37 PM GMT
    I haven't seen him at the gym since. I'll let you know what happens when I do
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    Aug 07, 2010 9:01 PM GMT
    Nice! Keep us updated. But I dont know maybe you could check the strippers club out with those vip passes
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    Aug 08, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    maybe he just wants new customers, maybe he was playing gay for pay manager. lol
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 08, 2010 2:38 AM GMT
    i had something sorta similar happen to me when i was in hawaii for the summer. Got hit on by a stripclub owner, who i met at my job. Went out drinking with him, turned out to be bi, i did take him up on free drinks in his office once at the pussy bar- without having to see vagina. i was 19 at the time and got some weird satidfaction knowing everyone downstairs was there for vagina, yet the owner wanted my ass. Haha icon_twisted.gif

  • Aug 08, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    I don't know many straight guys who just randomly approach men in gyms, so yes, he is gay.

    Worst case scenario: He only approached you to drum up business for his strip club, in which case he has no interest in you. Go for it. There's either nothing there or something there, and it doesn't sound like you're looking for friendship so bank on something. If he is drumming up business, then you have no obligation to feel bad for making a pass at someone who was treating you like a potential customer instead of a human being.
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    Aug 08, 2010 9:11 AM GMT
    This is so obvious I cannot believe no one has seen it!!! This guy is interested in you and is checking out whether YOU are gay, hence the invite to the straightest event you could possibly think of! If you are comfortable with it, either say outright you are not into chicks - if you are not comfortable, just say you are not really into such places ... and watch him take the initiative by asking some questions like "do you have a girlfriend."

    Doh!!
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Aug 08, 2010 11:22 AM GMT
    my gdar is fucked up, i never know when someone is checking me out or if they just mean to have a chat or what..im hopeless.
    my local barbeshop has this cute young barber and out of the blue the young barber starts talking to me about random things and then he says do you go to the gym which one, and kept the conversation going in the end as i was off to the gym after the haircut he was like see you around then have fun talk soon, i was like ok yes...
    i never know if he was flirting with me or just being friendly or just interested in fitness and running!
  • TristanLane

    Posts: 118

    Aug 08, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    Please keep us updated this sounds so juicy. I would say go and check it out. It wouldn't kill you to stay for about an hour or so. You never know these days with the whole "straight" thing. Just don't give it up too soon!
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    Aug 08, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    gym is the worse place when it comes to that kinda things...
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    Aug 08, 2010 3:07 PM GMT
    Your quite a sleuth! Keep those PI skill on lock and go and find out and let us know!! icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 10, 2010 6:46 AM GMT
    UPDATE: Thanks for all of your thoughts, insight and advice. I've been taking notes lol... The plot has thickened since I last posted. I dug a little deeper on the internet. I found the old website for the gogo/dance club. Of course they had pictures from opening night. Guess who was on the bar with low rise jeans on and no shirt icon_eek.gif Dancing and pouring shots into men's mouths? Yup it was him! So I've come to the conclusion my gaydar is still on point lol. I haven't seen him lately, but I believe I'll see him Tuesday at the gym. That's the day I usually see him. He broke the ice already, so I'm just going to start a conversation and get some answers. Possibly a date and more if I play my cards righticon_wink.gif ... I'll keep you posted! Thanks again guys!