The LOOK of HIV+ men

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 06, 2010 12:35 PM GMT
    LMFAO... I hotlisted a guy who kindly responded "Thanks for the hotlist. I think your hot too, but I see you look your HIV+." Yep, I see YOU LOOK. Okay... so maybe he's not the brightest guy in the bunch. But I find it hilarious that if your HIV+ you can't be hotlisted. It wasn't as if I was asking him to fuck me. I just simply hit the "Hotlist" button on him. Oh well... at least I am thick skinned and could take it with some humor. But a small part of me is still in shock that people can be so stupid that you can't hotlist HIV+ guys. Its not like this is a dating service or Manhunt.
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    Aug 06, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    NoCityGuy saidLMFAO... I hotlisted a guy who kindly responded "Thanks for the hotlist. I think your hot too, but I see you look your HIV+." Yep, I see YOU LOOK. Okay... so maybe he's not the brightest guy in the bunch. But I find it hilarious that if your HIV+ you can't be hotlisted. It wasn't as if I was asking him to fuck me. I just simply hit the "Hotlist" button on him. Oh well... at least I am thick skinned and could take it with some humor. But a small part of me is still in shock that people can be so stupid that you can't hotlist HIV+ guys. Its not like this is a dating service or Manhunt.


    There is still tremendous stigma around being HIV+, even though there are other, less treatable sexually transmitted diseases "on the market".

    Also, "serosorting" has become an approach to "filtering" the dating pool of "undesirable" partners. The practice is not only ineffective, it also gives people a false sense of risk reduction. People lie, people are ignorant, people are in denial, and some people are outright angry and want to spread their disease to as many people as they can our of resentment, revenge and self-hatred.

    I am HIV+, and this month I am observing 26 years of surviving and thriving.

    I shatter stereotypes. And, for me, the HIV disclosure is a "filter" that I use on my dating pool. Those guys who can't handle it aren't worthy of my time nor attention.
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    Aug 06, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    NoCityGuy saidLMFAO... I hotlisted a guy who kindly responded "Thanks for the hotlist. I think your hot too, but I see you look your HIV+." Yep, I see YOU LOOK. Okay... so maybe he's not the brightest guy in the bunch. But I find it hilarious that if your HIV+ you can't be hotlisted. It wasn't as if I was asking him to fuck me. I just simply hit the "Hotlist" button on him. Oh well... at least I am thick skinned and could take it with some humor. But a small part of me is still in shock that people can be so stupid that you can't hotlist HIV+ guys. Its not like this is a dating service or Manhunt.


    There is still tremendous stigma around being HIV+, even though there are other, less treatable sexually transmitted diseases "on the market".

    Also, "serosorting" has become an approach to "filtering" the dating pool of "undesirable" partners. The practice is not only ineffective, it also gives people a false sense of risk reduction. People lie, people are ignorant, people are in denial, and some people are outright angry and want to spread their disease to as many people as they can our of resentment, revenge and self-hatred.

    I am HIV+, and this month I am observing 26 years of surviving and thriving.

    I shatter stereotypes. And, for me, the HIV disclosure is a "filter" that I use on my dating pool. Those guys who can't handle it aren't worthy of my time nor attention.


    Live long, prosper, and enjoy life. Amen.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 11:40 AM GMT
    That was terribly rude of him
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    Aug 07, 2010 11:46 AM GMT
    Hey, NoCityGuy, you are sexy as hell; the guy in question clearly is either a bit dim, possibly has a misunderstanding of HIV, or both. I'm still amazed how guys can be towards positive guys. I happen to be negative, but my ex was positive and his friends (both positive & negative) freaked out on him for dating someone negative.!? Go figure. I guess we all have our hang ups.

    I dated a guy a couple years ago that broke things off with me because he was a "young professional" and I wasn't the right kind of "young professional," because I free-lance & worked from home instead of going to an office. Ironically, I made more than he did. As far as "filtering" goes, my biggest concern is sorting out the crystal meth users.. Just saying...
  • inuman

    Posts: 733

    Aug 07, 2010 12:06 PM GMT
    NoCityGuy saidLMFAO... I hotlisted a guy who kindly responded "Thanks for the hotlist. I think your hot too, but I see you look your HIV+." Yep, I see YOU LOOK. Okay... so maybe he's not the brightest guy in the bunch. But I find it hilarious that if your HIV+ you can't be hotlisted. It wasn't as if I was asking him to fuck me. I just simply hit the "Hotlist" button on him. Oh well... at least I am thick skinned and could take it with some humor. But a small part of me is still in shock that people can be so stupid that you can't hotlist HIV+ guys. Its not like this is a dating service or Manhunt.



    Well here's me hot listing you cause well, your hot icon_cool.gif
  • BronxvilleNY3...

    Posts: 101

    Aug 07, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    Keep walking and don’t pay attention, there are some people that have intestines instead of brain.
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    Aug 07, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    Yeah I think you're cute (not "hot" for my tastes, but it's all just semantics, really, isn't it?).

    Personally, I think disclosure of HIV status is a stupid idea on these sites.

    Do I really want to know if you have diabetes?

    Allergies?

    A skin disorder?

    Mental issues?

    Just my opinion.

  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Aug 07, 2010 1:02 PM GMT
    Well, I just hot listed you NoCityGuy! The picture of you and your dog was worth the hot list alone!! People have all different rationales on who they hot list. Don't worry, I have a feeling that your hot list requests will sky rocket now!
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Aug 07, 2010 1:09 PM GMT
    Hey NoCityGuy,
    I have been HIV + for about 28 years. My partner of 22 years is negative. Unfortunately there will always be ignorance in the world. We just have to accept that and move on. You indeed are a very hot guy. You handled his remark well. There is no since getting angry or letting people like that upset you because then they win. The good news it that there are so many awesome guys out there that are educated and mature enough to know that you can have a wonderful relationship with an HIV+ man. It is not a death sentence. It is a disease you can live with. I feel sorry for the guys that pass up an HIV+ guy. It is there loss. In my case I am a loving, devoted, and passionate man. If you are my partner I give you 110% of me. Norm and I have been together for 22 years. We have a strong and passionate love. We have a wonderful safe sex life. We look forward to retiring together someday. We will be together until our time is up in this world. Sorry that I have rambled. I just wanted you to know that there are a lot of wonderful guys out there. You just have to let the bad ones just keep walking by. They will always be there too. As I said, it is there loss.icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 4:47 PM GMT
    I just hotlisted you, too! Don't reckon I'll catch HIV by hotlisting you, will i? ha ha

    sorry to read how you were treated. it is unfair. just let it go...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 4:55 PM GMT
    NoCityGuy saidLMFAO... I hotlisted a guy who kindly responded "Thanks for the hotlist. I think your hot too, but I see you look your HIV+." Yep, I see YOU LOOK. Okay... so maybe he's not the brightest guy in the bunch. But I find it hilarious that if your HIV+ you can't be hotlisted. It wasn't as if I was asking him to fuck me. I just simply hit the "Hotlist" button on him. Oh well... at least I am thick skinned and could take it with some humor. But a small part of me is still in shock that people can be so stupid that you can't hotlist HIV+ guys....


    ...or think they can identify HIV+ guys by 'look'.
  • curve

    Posts: 668

    Aug 07, 2010 4:58 PM GMT
    his narrow mindedness and loss.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:00 PM GMT
    I agree that it was very rude of him to perpetuate the stigma but I also believe that it's everybody's responsibility to honestly disclose one's status and inform potential partners of potential risks. I know I'm going to get a lot of criticism for saying this but there is a difference between the ones who contracted HIV when there was so little known about it and people who engage in risky behaviors today and contribute to the spread of this disease, no matter how treatable it is. I always feel that, as members of the gay community, it is our first priority to protect ourselves and others, I believe it's even more pressing than fighting for marriage equality.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Aug 07, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    I think he showed his horrific ignorance.
  • FredMG

    Posts: 988

    Aug 07, 2010 5:02 PM GMT
    Brit_Bloke saidYeah I think you're cute (not "hot" for my tastes, but it's all just semantics, really, isn't it?).

    Personally, I think disclosure of HIV status is a stupid idea on these sites.

    Do I really want to know if you have diabetes?

    Allergies?

    A skin disorder?

    Mental issues?

    Just my opinion.



    Ditto and definately hotter that all the floating muscled torsos or guys who don't have the conjones to put up a public face picture.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    I am personally affronted.

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    curve saidhis narrow mindedness and loss.


    It's sad in this day and age where information is so readily available that people are still ignorant about HIV and stereotypes.
    Definitely his loss.

  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 07, 2010 5:11 PM GMT
    I must be clueless about this whole topic and really want to stay that way.

    The OP has me on his hotlist... he's a cute guy and the last thing I'd ever even think about is HIV status and hotlisting. I appreciate the hotlist and I'd have no problem putting him on mine.

    icon_evil.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:17 PM GMT
    just listed you as "hot" and yes the pic w/the dog does resonates...and milking the cow yeah okay but yes you are definately hot.

    as for the asshole positive who made you an issue- like how some people are terminally straight well proof positive you just experienced "terminally an asshole".

    ....may you live well and long and find lots and lots of love.......nothing but love. Aloha.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:22 PM GMT
    There is another thread currently running, about what constitutes "intelligence". I think we can safely assume, by any standard, the guy you are talking about has none.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:26 PM GMT
    Brit_Bloke saidYeah I think you're cute (not "hot" for my tastes, but it's all just semantics, really, isn't it?).

    Personally, I think disclosure of HIV status is a stupid idea on these sites.

    Do I really want to know if you have diabetes?

    Allergies?

    A skin disorder?

    Mental issues?

    Just my opinion.



    I might like to know if someone has irritable bowel syndrome, but that's just me.

    NoCityGuy, you seem like a nice man and definitely cute. I hope the rest of your realjock experiences aren't so discomforting.
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    Aug 07, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidI think he showed his horrific ignorance.


    I agree!!

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    Aug 07, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    NoCityGuy saidLMFAO...

    I am HIV+, and this month I am observing 26 years of surviving and thriving.

    I shatter stereotypes. And, for me, the HIV disclosure is a "filter" that I use on my dating pool. Those guys who can't handle it aren't worthy of my time nor attention.



    GAMRican

    Not to take issue with you but you are not alone. I have two close friends that were in the SF Hep B study in 1978 both are pos and their blood tested pos from that study as did many other that are dead. They elected not to take HIV medication during the 80's as their lovers died a horrible death from taking 600 mg of AZT. They have never taken meds for HIV and are doing very very well as good as you. There are others on here with similar stories.

    So I would hope you have or will rethink what Terminal disease you have after all these years. What I find very difficult to understand as after 32 yrs most people have never read the original studies by Gallo and the NIH. There is so much information, studies and data out there and most people rely on pamphlets put out by (???????) who!

    So yes I have no doubt you will be able to live long and prosper " Said Spock "
    That is unless you travel the freeways here in the Bay Area and get run over by a truck driver that was tweaking for three days icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 07, 2010 6:48 PM GMT
    Celticmusl saidI think he showed his horrific ignorance.


    Ditto