When a friendship is on the line should I get involved?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    Alright I will try to make this as short as possible.

    I have a friend who we will call John and he has been in love with some guy for years. The guy will be called Sean. They went out a few times and Sean believed some rumor so gay drama ensued thus there is no longer any happy relationship between the two of them.

    John still talks very candidly with Sean's mother and found out that Sean still has feelings for John and blah blah blah. They tried again, disaster again. During this process John and I got into more and more arguments in regards to Sean. Now I have recently come across some information about Sean's current bf and the fact that he is sleeping with someone. This information comes from the guy screwing him. Normally I would just ignore this but I do feel compelled to tell Sean this not only cuz I would get some sick satisfaction from it but because I think he should know. The informant does not know of my friends and I do not know Sean, just from name and face kind of thing. So I am positive this is not to cause problems he actually said it not knowing I knew the parties involved.

    So my question is then should I step in and tell Sean about what is going on even if it may affect others and possibly cause some strange "where did this come from" drama?
  • RSportsguy

    Posts: 1925

    Aug 08, 2010 12:06 PM GMT
    I guess I would have to have more information. How close are you to Sean? I would probably say not too close or his current bf would already know you. How would John feel about this information and what would he do about it? Do you think John would use that information to try to get Sean back? You already stated that the 2 times that they have tried a relationship, it was a disaster. It seems to me to be a no win situation for you. Personally, I would stay quiet since I do not like drama.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 08, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    I think you should stay out of it. You are only adding drama to an overly
    "dramatized zone".

    Be a support to your friend and do positive things in your life, not
    trying to "screw someone" without actually doing it!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2010 2:21 PM GMT
    I agree with Kansan. Mind your business
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2010 4:26 PM GMT
    This....
    "John still talks very candidly with Sean's mother and found out that Sean still has feelings for John and blah blah blah. They tried again, disaster again.

    During this process John and I got into more and more arguments in regards to Sean.
    Now I have recently come across some information about Sean's current bf and the fact that he is sleeping with someone. This information comes from the guy screwing him. Normally I would just ignore this but I do feel compelled to tell Sean this not only cuz I would get some sick satisfaction from it but because I think he should know. The informant does not know of my friends and I do not know Sean, just from name and face kind of thing."


    ...tells me that you should say nothing, as you don't know Sean; you know John. If you must tell anyone, talk to John. How it would go is anyone's guess. He may be hurt and angry that you're meddling.

    -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2010 4:58 PM GMT

    You can make drama in your life.

    You can join your friend's drama if bored.

    You can stay clear of drama, go for a run, workout, have a nice dinner with friends or just do something that benefits your life.

    I kind of like young Handsmkansan and cute boys MeninLove's remarks, cool for young kids icon_wink.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 08, 2010 5:47 PM GMT
    Thanks for the advice guys.

    I guess I just thought he should know that someone is cheating on him, I didn't really think that would cause drama I mean I would want to know.

    Thanks again, I think I will just do nothing