Are you smart enough to be southern?

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    Feb 17, 2008 10:35 PM GMT
    ANSWERS ALREADY POSTED BELOW (FUNNY VIDEOS BELOW)

    I was reading the thread on southern accents and began fondly remembering spending part of my youth in the rural south (US). Some people have stereo-typical ideas of the south and it may not be suited for everyone. SO, I came up with this test to see how y'all might fare in the south. Go ahead and post your answer with the number of the question. Answer as many as you can. I will post the answers later. Some of these are from real life situations, some are hypothetical ..

    Some involve manners, some require quick thinking and some are just common sense ..

    WHAT DO YOU DO IF ...

    1.A log falls across a friend at his waist. Do you roll it up or down?

    2.The neighbors cows tongue is turning blue as it is moo'ing.

    3.Your neighbor is waving his arms frantically as his wheels come off his vehicle.

    4.A ten foot rattler latches onto your wife's/partner's arm.

    5.You wake up in the morning and your water heater smells like alcohol.

    6.You see a man eatin' alligator.

    7.Your baby brother is convulsing while he is leaning against the fence.

    8.You see your neighbor throwing live chickens into the middle of the pond.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 17, 2008 11:05 PM GMT
    BTW, southern can actually be synonymous with rural is some cases
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    Feb 17, 2008 11:08 PM GMT
    I have no idea about any of them. I've never seen an alligator.

    I'd probably just get help, from somewhere, anywhere.
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    Feb 17, 2008 11:12 PM GMT
    redheadguy saidI have no idea about any of them. I've never seen an alligator.
    I'd probably just get help, from somewhere, anywhere.

    lol, Thats ok, they are commonly found in parts of the south but hopefully enough people will respond so I can post the answers .. the answers may amuse and amaze you.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 17, 2008 11:28 PM GMT
    1) Lift it, but in your choices it would have to be down.

    2) Get the vet.

    3) Call 999 or I think it's 911 for you.

    4) Catch it by the throat and tail, and pull it off.

    5) Get a sober one. icon_lol.gif

    6) Run away.

    7) Get him off the fence and call the doc.

    8 ) Call animal rights. icon_lol.gif

    Now dont laugh if I'm way out.

    Mike
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    Feb 18, 2008 12:14 AM GMT
    MikePhil said1) Lift it, but in your choices it would have to be down.
    ...
    3) Call 999 or I think it's 911 for you.
    ...

    Now dont laugh if I'm way out.

    Mike
    I'm not giving the answers early but I won't laugh. well mostly. can't guarantee about everyone else though. Yeah we have 911, 999 is interesting though looking at it upside down it is 666 .. I wonder if any area has that as an emergency number??
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    Feb 18, 2008 1:01 AM GMT
    Redhead: you dont have alligators in your ponds over there? Nor opossums in your wood piles? Raccoons under the front porch? ... icon_lol.gif

    We had one jerk when I was in grad school at the Univ. of Florida who thought the alligators could recognize him. He would go in the lakes to pet them. They had to ban him from the campus. I would ride my bike giving them as wide a berth as possible when they were laying out by the road sunning themselves.

    I am not a rural southerner, so I can't help answer the questions.
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    Feb 18, 2008 1:08 AM GMT
    Caslon saidI am not a rural southerner, so I can't help answer the questions.
    Aww, c'mon calson .. give it a try. You are a prolific poster here and pretty smart tooicon_biggrin.gif
    I used to live a few blocks from a nature preserve in atlanta and had all sorts of creatures crossed my porch from time to time including the ones you mention. No gators though .. that was in another small Georgia town I lived in.
  • ShawnTX

    Posts: 2484

    Feb 18, 2008 1:56 AM GMT
    1) I'd wedge something underneath the log to lift it off him. But if I could only answer up or down, I guess it would be down.

    2) Call a vet.

    3) Run

    4) Whack it on the head until it dies. Skin it, and make a fabulous pair of boots. I suppose before you go ahead with the boots you'd coat your mouth with olive oil before sucking out the poison.

    5) Find out which neighbour is making hooch on your property and charge him a manufacturing fee.

    6) Ask him if he's willing to share?

    7) Knock him over with a stick (electric fence)

    8 ) Add noodles
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    Feb 18, 2008 3:48 AM GMT
    Hmmmm... well, I'm a North Carolina boy, so let's see how I do here...

    1. Get a chainsaw, cut it up for firewood, and sell it on the roadside for $20/cord.

    2. Tip it.

    3. Wave back and call 911.

    4. Shoot the snake off my partner's arm, do a cutback on his arm and suck out the venom... and drop the snake off at Vern's down the road so he can make rattle snake pizza for his girlfriend.

    5. Oh... that wasn't the still? Bottle the stuff and sell it.

    6. Ask him if he saved the hide and if I could have it to make some boots out of.

    7. Run to the barn and turn off the power to the fence.

    8. Take him a cold beer and watch him feedin' the alligator...

    icon_lol.gif
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:18 AM GMT
    lol. Its so funny. you guys are coming up with some pretty interesting answers .. lol
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:50 AM GMT
    1 Roll up

    2 Call the local butcher and prepare for a cook out

    3 Is he on the vehicle? Call a mechanic i guess. I'm no grease monkey.

    4grab it by the head and then suck and spit.

    5COmplain about my hangover or lack of Yukon I don't usually get hangovers

    6Is the man eating the alligator or is this a scary gator about to eat me? If it's a I will ask to try some of it. If it is b I will make sure not to get too close and call animal control or something.

    7Throw some holy water at him and scream the power of christ compells you!!!


    8 Can they swim? I had a chicken that could sort of swim once but then again i also was raisng ducks too and I'm not sure if any of the other chickens could swim. But if he is drowning them or whatever I guess I could buy one or two of the man or woman and make some fried chicken... I love me some fried chicken.
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    Feb 18, 2008 6:17 AM GMT
    1. Roll it Back.

    2. The cow is probably having calf's but I don't know much about that.

    3. Jump out of the way.

    4. Grab the head firmly, and grab the snake about midsection, and carefully pull the snake away.

    5. Turn off gas, open windows.

    6. Bring some gumbo or turkey necks or something....

    7. Shake it off, man!

    8. probably start watching for snakes, coons or something.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2008 8:08 AM GMT
    keep em coming .. I will post the answers tomorrow.
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    Feb 18, 2008 12:23 PM GMT
    Erm... if rural means jungle boy, I should be able to nail these, LOL.

    1. You lift it sideways?

    2. Stop throttling him? Or at least ease up a little?

    3. Stop driving his tractor in drag races?

    4. Punch him in the mouth and tell him to find his own date and that this boy's mine?

    5. Um... forget about the morning cigarette?

    6. Join him for dinner?

    7. Tell him to stop jerking off out in the open?

    8. Show him a picture of a duck?
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    Feb 18, 2008 12:40 PM GMT
    ActiveAndFit saidI was reading the thread on southern accents and began fondly remembering spending part of my youth in the rural south (US). Some people have stereo-typical ideas of the south and it may not be suited for everyone. SO, I came up with this test to see how y'all might fare in the south. Go ahead and post your answer with the number of the question. Answer as many as you can. I will post the answers later. Some of these are from real life situations, some are hypothetical ..

    Some involve manners, some require quick thinking and some are just common sense ..

    WHAT DO YOU DO IF ...

    1.A log falls across a friend at his waist. Do you roll it up or down?

    Pull his pants down.

    2.The neighbors cows tongue is turning blue as it is moo'ing.

    Tornado on the way.

    3.Your neighbor is waving his arms frantically as his wheels come off his vehicle.

    He is pissed off, you stole his husband.

    4.A ten foot rattler latches onto your wife's/partner's arm.

    She deserve to be bitten.

    5.You wake up in the morning and your water heater smells like alcohol.

    You drank just a bit too much moon shine.

    6.You see a man eatin' alligator.

    Welfare cut him off.

    7.Your baby brother is convulsing while he is leaning against the fence.

    What do you expect his daddy is his uncle too.

    8.You see your neighbor throwing live chickens into the middle of the pond.


    Cause the pigly wigly is running a sale and she no longer needs the ones she has.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2008 12:51 PM GMT
    Who would want to be Southern anyway?
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:37 PM GMT
    VineyardHmo saidWho would want to be Southern anyway?
    some people are just born that wayicon_biggrin.gif ... I was drafted.
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    rksportswear said
    8.You see your neighbor throwing live chickens into the middle of the pond.

    Cause the pigly wigly is running a sale and she no longer needs the ones she has.

    lol, thats pretty funny, but the pig is giving way to kroger and publix according to my mom.
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:51 PM GMT
    Sedative14 saidErm... if rural means jungle boy, I should be able to nail these, LOL.
    Those were pretty funny and creative! good to have a jungle/Filipino perspective. I have a question .. why is Philippines spelled with a PH and Filipino spelled with an F?
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    1.A log falls across a friend at his waist. Do you roll it up or down? Neither lift it off.

    2.The neighbors cows tongue is turning blue as it is moo'ing. Get ready to have steak for dinner.

    3.Your neighbor is waving his arms frantically as his wheels come off his vehicle. Yell stop that and kiss your ass good bye.

    4.A ten foot rattler latches onto your wife's/partner's arm. That would be me then so Scream like a girl and get to a hospital as quickly as possible.

    5.You wake up in the morning and your water heater smells like alcohol. Pour myself a good hot cup of water.

    6.You see a man eatin' alligator. Stay a safe distance away.

    7.Your baby brother is convulsing while he is leaning against the fence. Pull him away from the electical fence and get help.

    8.You see your neighbor throwing live chickens into the middle of the pond. Drink some more of that hot water and watch mystified.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:52 PM GMT
    Im too smart to be southern. Done.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 18, 2008 5:57 PM GMT
    I sent one of my slaves to take care of ever'thang 'cept number six. Let my boy eat, will ya!!
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    Feb 18, 2008 6:00 PM GMT
    danielryan saidIm too smart to be southern. Done.
    lol, well you are more southern that ShawnTO (Canada) and he came up with some pretty good answers.
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    Feb 18, 2008 6:11 PM GMT
    ActiveAndFit said[quote][cite]danielryan said[/cite]Im too smart to be southern. Done.
    lol, well you are more southern that ShawnTO (Canada) and he came up with some pretty good answers.[/quote]

    Southern doesn't have to do with geography! There is so much more to being a true southener! icon_biggrin.gif