marcobruno1978 saidKeep it short, sweet and polite.
A few things you can say:
1. I'm not emotionally available right now.
2. You're a great guy but I think we can only be friends at most.
3. I am flattered by your attention, but I just want to be honest: I don't see this as an amorous relationship.
4. Would you mind if we kept this relationship strictly a friendship?
5. Sorry, but I don't see this relationship working. I can't really explain it.
I don't think there is any way that you can get around the feelings of rejection. Some may accept it and move on, most will be hurt, and some may turn it into a friendship. It is the cruel reality of dating.
But in the long-term, I think *reasonable* people appreciate direct, upfront communication.
#4 works well.
I have heard that the word 'but', should never be used in a sentence, because it negates anything that you said right before it. like #3. You weren't flattered. It turns the intention of what you were trying to say completely 180 degrees around.
Au contraire - I've dumped people and still been very flattered indeed by their affections. One,of my first, a v. masculine, rugby built bloke who's now a policeman used to call me "blue eyes" and I found that very endearing.
Unfortunately he was really, reall, and I mean really booooooooring.
I mean, even his sexy, deeper than the deep blue sea voice started to great on me - we're talking m-o-n-o-t-o-n-e here.
That guy, I did indeed tell a white lie to - said I wasn't over my ex (which was actually a little bit true).
When, about a year later, I fell in love with my now long-term boyf, he was like, "oh, blue eyes, why couldn't you have been over your ex a year ago?".
I was like, "er, yeah, shame that."