BF is joining the military to pay for school...ugh.

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  Aug 12, 2010 1:43 AM GMT

  I'd help him to pay for it, but he doesn't want me to. His parents, though they may have some money, aren't helping much...and maybe they can't I don't know the whole story there. I'm feeling more than a little sick about it.
  
  I know he feels trapped by his finances and he really does need to go to school to do what he wants, and I guess this is him being responsible and noble and whatever, but I'm gonna miss him and he's gonna be in danger and even though he's gonna look hella hot in uniform, I still feel like he's making the wrong decision.
  
  anyone else join for financial aid? any thoughts either way?
  
  I guess I just wanna see you guys dissect the matter so I don't have to form and coherent thoughts of my own. I'm too numb right now..

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  Aug 12, 2010 1:52 AM GMT

  Unwise decision. Joining the US military is a bad way to pay for school tuition. They usually jerk you around when you're trying to get your education benefits, rarely getting the money you think you will in a timely manner (I used to handle these appeals, and it sickened me). And you can't attend school if you're dead or too seriously disabled.

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• Webster666
  
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  Aug 12, 2010 2:15 AM GMT

  Military recruiters promise you the world.
  They don't need students.
  They only need warm bodies whom they can teach to fire a gun.
  And, if you're unfortunate enough to get wounded, lose a limb, or you suffer from mental illness (as a result of your combat service), well, good luck.
  
  The problem with an all volunteer military is that almost all of the people who sign up are looking for an education. That isn't worth risking your life, your safety, or your sanity.

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  Aug 12, 2010 2:24 AM GMT

  There's a new version of the GI Bill. It's supposed to be better. But you still gotta jump through some hoops to take advantage of it. I'd recommend that your boyfriend go Reserves at least.
  
  Alternatively, has he applied for state and federal grants? Apparently there's a lot of free money out there for college students. I never got any of it because I didn't qualify.

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  Aug 12, 2010 2:38 AM GMT

  Webster666 saidThe problem with an all volunteer military is that almost all of the people who sign up are looking for an education. That isn't worth risking your life, your safety, or your sanity.

  
  I agree completely. You may find this odd coming from me, a career soldier.
  
  But I joined for bad reasons (suicide, really, during Vietnam), and discovered that I was actually good at it, and loved it. Well, that was my bizarre problem.
  
  I never did it for rewards or compensation afterwards, I was just having a great time for myself, stupid as that may have been. If someone else does, too, fine. I really think they ought to have their head examined, but there you are.
  
  But I would NEVER counsel doing it for service benefits. You will be cheated and denied, and not get what you were promised. You can join the US military for many different reasons, but NEVER for service benefits, for you will be shortchanged & robbed. That's how our US government operates, trust me.

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  Aug 12, 2010 3:22 AM GMT

  I guess I don't understand exactly what 'the reserves' are...can anyone fill me in on that? is that a better way to go?

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  Aug 12, 2010 3:30 AM GMT

  NO, i'v never had to deal with the financial aid thing but let him do his thing, looks like he knows no/one is gonna do anything for him so he must take the bull by the horns and change his life for himself....
  I put my husband through school because i refuse to let him go away, are you kidding me, a sicilian cuban ....theres no way i was letting him out of my sight, i will fight a bitch.....

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  Aug 12, 2010 5:55 AM GMT

  tommysguns2000 saidI guess I don't understand exactly what 'the reserves' are...can anyone fill me in on that? is that a better way to go?

  
  Reserves.. also known as weekend warriors or tampons.
  
  Instead of going in full time, you only serve part time. Essentially, you go through basic training, and then your MOS school. Once you finish, you go back home and you're assigned to a base nearest to your home. You report for duty one weekend a month. During that time you practice drill or whatever. And you're also required to serve 7 days per year on top of the monthly commitment. Federal law requires employers to give time off to employees for military commitments.
  
  Even though he's a Reservist, he's still entitled to the benefits that come with regular military service, including the GI Bill. However, I don't know exactly how/when the benefits kick in. Like I said, there's a new GI Bill and I don't know the details. The recruiters will promise him the world, but the reality is that he's gotta go through some red tape to make things happen. And the key thing is that HE has to make it happen. There are no guidance counselors that will do it for him. Also, if the recruiters make any sort of promises like bumps in rank or sign-up bonuses or guaranteed MOS.. make sure he gets it in writing on the contract.
  
  One thing I have to caution you about.. even if he chooses to be come a Reservist, that won't automatically exclude him from being deployed overseas. Reservists can and do get sent over to Iraq or Afghanistan for both short and long term deployments. Whenever anyone decides to join the military, you have to assume that you will get deployed, and that you will be in a dangerous situation, and that you might not come back. Sorry to sound so grim. But if he's only joining to pay for his college, then he may want to think long and hard about this.
  
  I kinda have to agree with you, joining only to pay for school is not a good idea. He has to WANT to join because it does take a certain mindset to endure that sort of environment.

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  Aug 12, 2010 5:09 PM GMT

  I vote to educate him as much as possible, then let him make his own decisions.
  He may face adversity, but that'll just make him stronger later in life.
  As for missing him, well, everyone misses their loved ones in the military. Letting someone go is never easy.

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