Stay or Go?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 6:59 AM GMT
    Okay I'll be griping and venting but here's the situation: I can start school in the fall semester and hunker down for the next 4 years in this god forsaken place (Greenville SC) or wait unitl January 2011 and go to school in either Seattle Washington or Austin Texas (much more open minded and urban environs).
    I'm originally from NYC but moved to Greenville SC but now that I'm here I can say that I don't like it.

    Being that I have family in the area and going to school and living in NYC was prohibitively expensive, I figured this would be a good fit. Think again. There is just nothing to do for a single gay dude in this conservative bible (at least 15-20 churches within a 10 mile radius) thumping south. .

    Yeah I know-I'm spoiled after having come from NYC but come on already. Not that I'm interested in reading it but for the heck of it, I visited the local Barnes & Noble bookstores(2) and verified that neither carry any same sex literature. Also whereas in NYC it's against the law to discriminate against a job applicant for their sexual orientation - here it isn't.

    In a nutshell, this is closed minded small city (it feels more like a very big town) living in a place that is comatose. Dating is a no go as the guys here give new meaning to the term: 'closet cases'. I asked one guy about his experience with dating and he kinda gasped and said: 'you mean like in public?' Another one was worried about me visiting because he was concerned about what his neighbors would think. The younger people push the envelope a bit more but this is very much a family oriented hetero oriented place.

    School is my primary focus but my god-there is just no energy here and mentality of the people - not everyone - but the majority makes me want to head for the 'urban hills'.

    In the end I always make up my mind but I wonder what would others do. Would you Stay or Go?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:10 AM GMT
    What is your career goal?
    You don't have to answer that here. Just make the choice that will get you there.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:30 AM GMT
    I never stay anywhere simply "because I´m there". I´m not say that you break commitments, but if you have a natural break/option to move and the place you are in is not working then move. "Working" can be either personal life or professional life. If neither are stellar and you have made reasonable efforts, know somewhere better to go and can afford it then move.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 12, 2010 7:47 AM GMT
    run!!! I have been to seattle found it pretty cool city
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 12, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    RUN..icon_exclaim.gif
    if you dont you'll go postal....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 3:24 PM GMT
    It depends on what your education objectives and career goals are. When I was in graduate school, academics was a full time job and there was no time for dating or socializing. It really didn't matter what city I was in because I wasn't there to experience the culture- only to get educated.

    In undergraduate school, however, there was a lot more free time. I went to undergraduate school in Austin so having the freedom to "open my wings" in the gay community- so to speak- was very beneficial to me.

    Every situation is different so you just have to find what is the best fit for you and your goals.
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:00 PM GMT
    I would move on. Four years will be like a life sentence considering how you already feel about the place.
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:43 PM GMT
    UT! Austin is sooo much fun!
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    ssguy69 saidIn the end I always make up my mind but I wonder what would others do. Would you Stay or Go?

    Go. I've been there. Total shithole.
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    Aug 12, 2010 8:06 PM GMT
    Since you are thoughtful and considered enough to recognize that you have choices, you likely already know your answer.

    If I was unhappy enough to be looking around for options in how to change my life, I would know that it is time to take action steps to move in a new direction.
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    Aug 12, 2010 10:08 PM GMT
    Greenville is not far from Atlanta. Many people from the area do travel to Atlanta for the weekend and from what I understand the scene is better there. However, if you truly are miserable, neither Seattle nor Austin are bad choices. I do hear from other ex-NYers that the work culture in Seattle tends to be a little passive aggressive. Therefore, they do complain that New York's "let's get it done now" habits tend to cause culture clash.
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    Aug 13, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    It's kinda like I need external validation of decisions I don't realize I've already made.

    GO IT IS. I'm outta here post haste.icon_razz.gif