Ok I need help. I don't know what to do.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 12:29 PM GMT
    Me and my guy have been together for two years and I'm the only
    one pushing for sex to get it.
    So we had a talk about it . He said he wanted more but guess what we still
    don't do it much I'm talking like once every one to two weeks aaa
    I want more so bad . What should I ?
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    Aug 12, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    Either break up or agree on an open relationship.
    No sexless relationship lasts.
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    Aug 12, 2010 1:16 PM GMT
    Communicate! It could be he's into things you're not, or vice versa. He might just naturally have a lower sex drive than you, which is something you'll have to deal with if you want to stay with him. Maybe he's going off you. Maybe he's found someone else. Maybe he's tired and stressed and just not in the mood!

    Could be any or all or none of the above, you need to discuss it properly if you're not happy.

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    Aug 12, 2010 2:31 PM GMT

    You can hamper your mutual sex life if pressure is applied.

    "Me and my guy have been together for two years and I'm the only
    one pushing for sex to get it."


    Try this - use your hand for the next little while and court him instead of coming on to him. He might be feeling pressure or guilt or the combination of the two for not performing, which in turn makes him not perform. This could alleviate it. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug

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    Aug 12, 2010 11:31 PM GMT
    "tied him to the bed and jump on him" lol

    nah j.k there could be many reasons why. Always have an open
    communication about whats up. What's preventing from wanting it?
    Performance,stress, low sex drive? could one of the many reasons.
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    Aug 13, 2010 8:30 AM GMT
    Okay we have talked and omg he still gets nervous when we fuck
    he says he does not know what to do ?
    Odd. At times I think of other guys , why? I think I need a real
    good fuck. I'm vers and he's more bottom.
    But I love him ! I'm messed up eh.
  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Aug 13, 2010 8:36 AM GMT
    Talk to him about it more....what makes him nervous about it? What thoughts are going through his head that are making him nervous. Could you be saying something that is making him feel like he is doing it wrong or not good enough? Maybe you guys can work it out together. Try not to judge him for what he is feeling....just try and work on a solution together. Open honest discussions may be the answer. Maybe he had a bad experience in the past that he has not fully dealt with yet. If that does not work, consider a gay counselor that has experience with this.
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Aug 13, 2010 8:42 AM GMT
    Happyfeet saidOkay we have talked and omg he still gets nervous when we fuck
    he says he does not know what to do ?
    Odd. At times I think of other guys , why? I think I need a real
    good fuck. I'm vers and he's more bottom.
    But I love him ! I'm messed up eh.


    Errr...as nickfit said...communicate and neither of you are messed up.
    It seems that he might be under some pressure to perform.

    I think that it might be a good time to errr...have a free for all.
    A free for all basically means: no expectations, relaxed, comfortable experiementation time.
    Time where you guys can start exploring each other's bodies, see what to do, how far you can go.
    Talk, laugh and try things that you have never tried before.
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    Aug 13, 2010 8:43 AM GMT
    paulflexes saidEither break up or agree on an open relationship.
    No sexless relationship lasts.


    Only an utter & total idiot would think a relationship is solely based upon sex.

    My advice to the OP is if you only want sex don't fucking get in a relationship with someone. No reason in degrading another person cause you're only concerned about getting off. Relationships are meant for deeper reasons not inane & self-indulgences.
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    Aug 13, 2010 9:17 AM GMT
    SovereignNemesis said
    paulflexes saidEither break up or agree on an open relationship.
    No sexless relationship lasts.


    Only an utter & total idiot would think a relationship is solely based upon sex.

    My advice to the OP is if you only want sex don't fucking get in a relationship with someone. No reason in degrading another person cause you're only concerned about getting off. Relationships are meant for deeper reasons not inane & self-indulgences.


    I don't think he meant it is based only on sex, but rather a relationship lacking sex still won't work regardless of the emotional connection behind it. At least that's what I infer, but then again what do I know I can't even get in a relationship if my life depended on it. icon_redface.gif
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Aug 13, 2010 9:32 AM GMT
    SovereignNemesis said
    paulflexes saidEither break up or agree on an open relationship.
    No sexless relationship lasts.


    Only an utter & total idiot would think a relationship is solely based upon sex.

    My advice to the OP is if you only want sex don't fucking get in a relationship with someone. No reason in degrading another person cause you're only concerned about getting off. Relationships are meant for deeper reasons not inane & self-indulgences.


    Hi.
    Actually even though sex is not the be all and end of all of a relationship it does play a significant and crucial part to any and all relationships.
    This is part of our evolutionary make-up, sex feels great, because it encourages procreation...it is in our genes.



  • ATLANTIS7

    Posts: 1213

    Aug 13, 2010 9:59 AM GMT
    Ginseng Tea!
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    Aug 13, 2010 10:45 AM GMT
    SovereignNemesis said
    paulflexes saidEither break up or agree on an open relationship.
    No sexless relationship lasts.


    Only an utter & total idiot would think a relationship is solely based upon sex.

    My advice to the OP is if you only want sex don't fucking get in a relationship with someone. No reason in degrading another person cause you're only concerned about getting off. Relationships are meant for deeper reasons not inane & self-indulgences.
    ...says the single man with one of the most self-loathing profiles I've read in a while.
    Only an utter and total idiot would think that requesting sex from your partner of two years implies that sex is the only foundation upon which the relationship is built.
    Research "Maslow's hierarchical chart of needs" and pay special attention to the first need: Physiological. Looks like you may be lacking in that need as well.
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    Aug 13, 2010 3:00 PM GMT
    My advice for the OP is simply figure out his priorities.

    I would ask yourself "Why are you in the relationship to begin with?" And "What matters the most to me?"

    I agree with others that you should stay in communication with your beau.. You have only been together for two year but I assume you will want to continue together for many many many years after. So communication is key.

    There is always the option to get some toys to play with. I mean if he isnt in the mood, then get some happy alone time. I understand everyone has needs, however your needs are just as important as his.