Signing a Prenup

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 12, 2010 5:43 PM GMT
    Had a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 12, 2010 7:21 PM GMT
    Where I am prenups are illegal and not a valid contract here. The only way around it and which I will do is to buy your property, car, investments, and bank statements predating the wedding because that's all yours in case you do get divorced. Because anything you owned prior to being married is not up to be split under Argentine law, it's yours. Anything acquired during the marriage must be split.

    I plan on getting stuff in my name before I take the marriage plunge.

    So to answer your question, I'm not opposed or offended if someone asked me to sign a prenup as I would probably do the same.
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    Aug 12, 2010 7:39 PM GMT
    it´s hard... it says both "I´m not sure that this will last that long" and also "I´m not after you for your money".....


    As long as I´m left with a few million I´m not greedy
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 12, 2010 7:46 PM GMT
    Lostboy saidit´s hard... it says both "I´m not sure that this will last that long" and also "I´m not after you for your money".....


    As long as I´m left with a few million I´m not greedy


    Give me 10 years? icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 12, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    Marriage is a contract, whether you see it from a spiritual, religious or legal standpoint. Contracts have clauses and stipulations. A prenup simply and traditionally refers to one of them. Be sure you're getting what you want out of any contract you enter into.
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    Aug 12, 2010 8:52 PM GMT
    txbobcat21 saidHad a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?
    The same way she reacted...I'd call it off.
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    Aug 14, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    Perhaps the prenup should have been one of the first things to discuss after getting engaged, before wedding plans get too far advanced. She did the correct thing. A prenup is very important.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 14, 2010 1:44 AM GMT
    It may be absolutely prudent for the fiance to request this, depending on the circumstances..... and thats really what its all about. Hard to judge unless we have an example. It can be used to "herd greed" by one individual for the future....
    talk about planning for the future or retirement....LOL
  • Anto

    Posts: 2035

    Aug 14, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    Lostboy saidit´s hard... it says both "I´m not sure that this will last that long" and also "I´m not after you for your money".....
    As long as I´m left with a few million I´m not greedy


    But couldn't that be said of marriage itself?
    If you don't marry me, then it's like saying you aren't really committed to me but if you do marry me, you could be after my wealth
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    Anyone who's ever seen the inside of a divorce court would think a prenup is a great idea. Why not settle the issues while you're in love and want the best for each other, instead of waiting til you're feeling betrayed and want to claw each other's eyes out? I have seen divorcing couples waste time and money fighting over who gets the most minor asset and knicknack up to and including the frequent flyer miles.
    And for those who think it's unromantic to plan for the demise of your relationship, 50% of marriages end in divorce, so a touch of realism up front will save much pain later on.
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    txbobcat21 saidHad a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?


    THUS I do not believe in marriage to begin with... Socially financial contracts do not mix with any kind of spiritual unity.icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    txbobcat21 saidHad a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?


    EPIC FAIL!!!! ...chick was looking to get paid...lol

    No really, what's mine before a "committment" is made should stay mine. Marriage is as much a contract (at least in terms of social identity) as it is a "spiritual union." So, why not make things easier on everyone.
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    Aug 14, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    txbobcat21 saidHad a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?


    I wouldnt call off a wedding because of that.... money is a tough thing. Lets say I Inherit a big sum from my parents while I'm married to someone.... why should they be allowed to have that if we get divorced after the acquisition of the money? Its not theirs.

    I believe in prenups.... it doesnt mean you dont love somone.... it means that you agree to not go after undeserved money and property.... it also makes divorce less contentious.... because the terms are set. You always have to prepare for a rainy day. even if its in regard to a relationship.

    50+% of marriages fail. I'm sure the pecentage of gay failed marriages is just as high........
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    Aug 14, 2010 3:42 AM GMT
    Perhaps "postponing the wedding to discuss it further" would have been the most appropriate response, and perhaps that is the case. It's all up to what she meaning she associates with "a prenup". Some of the guys above have said it best already, I think.
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    Aug 14, 2010 12:12 PM GMT
    jprichva said Marriage is about taking a pluinge, about faith really. No faith in me? Fuck you, I can do better than you.

    JP, what an unexpected change to see you embracing the faith-based community.
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    Aug 14, 2010 12:19 PM GMT
    jprichva said
    That's a reasonable, hard-headed lawyerly way to look at things.
    However.
    Marriage is about taking a pluinge, about faith really. No faith in me? Fuck you, I can do better than you.


    This is exactly my point.
  • CAtoFL

    Posts: 834

    Aug 14, 2010 12:32 PM GMT
    I've had a 6.5 year relationship with a prenup in place and it proved useful in untying our lives when things didn't work out.

    The prenup helped save us untold thousands in legal fees and helped us maintain a friendly (instead of antagonistic) attitude towards each other. We're still friends because it never became a 'messy breakup'. Part of that was undeniably due to the prenup.

    I don't get the 'it's not romantic' or 'it shows he doesn't trust me' mindsets. Life isn't a fairytale. Hope for the best, but be realistically prepared for the worst.
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    Aug 14, 2010 1:17 PM GMT
    I might not call it off, but something intrinsic to the reasons I chose to marry would have been crushed.

    And no, I don't mean the potential to earn big bucks.
  • Celticmusl

    Posts: 4330

    Aug 14, 2010 1:53 PM GMT
    I know, and know of, many couples that stay together just because the financial entanglement of their relationship is too complex to unravel, or one or both parties are being unfair in how they would split the assets.

    I guess my point would be that I do not want to be trapped in a marriage, and I want my significant other to be there in the marriage for the right reasons and not just because we can't figure out who gets the house, etc.

    There is a couple that I know of that have been together 14 yrs. One of the guys has wanted out of the relationship for half of those years. But they own a house and an antique business together and his partner has been incredibly difficult in regards to splitting up the assets to the point that is almost an impossibility. I know having a prenup is not a cure-all but at least each party knows the other's intentions before the marriage/relationship even happens. The only reason why I know of this couple is that a friend of mine has dated the one that wants out of the relationship.
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:01 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    jprichva said
    TexDef07 said
    jprichva said Marriage is about taking a pluinge, about faith really. No faith in me? Fuck you, I can do better than you.

    JP, what an unexpected change to see you embracing the faith-based community.

    Hardly. You'll note that I am not myself married, nor ever again intend to be.


    Pity, guess you better sell the wedding dress so that someone can get some use out of it.

    No, JP wants to be just like Miss Havisham in Great Expectations.
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:22 PM GMT
    orthojock said
    txbobcat21 saidHad a conversation at my job with my professor who called off her wedding because her fiance asked her to sign a prenup...

    How would you respond if you were asked by your fiance to sign a prenup?


    EPIC FAIL!!!! ...chick was looking to get paid...lol

    No really, what's mine before a "committment" is made should stay mine. Marriage is as much a contract (at least in terms of social identity) as it is a "spiritual union." So, why not make things easier on everyone.



    Dude, I totally agree!!
    What's yours is yours, his is his, etc. If you guys purchase anything together and it is a big ticket item either put it in writing or kiss it goodbye. Otherwise, they can leave what they came with. "Support" is one of those pesky words that should also be ironed out; unless one partner sacrifices career for the other (at which time write it up) that partner can go back to buying generic shampoo after we break up. .. Children should be the only exception
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    Well, we think it's entirely up to the couple involved. Some think it's a good idea, so go ahead. Some think it isn't so don't. We didn't.

    Pre-nups can go wrong, too.

    Joe worked as a barista at minimum wage. Hal was a millionaire. pre-nup says Joe gets 1/4 a mill if it ends, but no ongoing alimoney if infidelity on Hal's part etc etc .

    Then.....Hal's portfolio takes a dive. Five years later Joe inherits Mom and Dads 3 mill estate and then Hal discovers Joe has a 'manstress' and has for the prev year.

    icon_eek.gif
  • DallasCali6Da...

    Posts: 147

    Aug 14, 2010 2:45 PM GMT
    I guess for "ME"....If I'm committing a partnership with a person it's because I care for them and am ready to build a meaningful relationship. I'm by no means am anywhere close to rich and could care less how much an individual is financially worth. Due to that fact... If he came to me with a prenup after knowing the previous I'd be insulted. I would not enter a union with the individual because he didn't really know me or respect me.

    ...And that's for "ME".

    There are some situations out there where someone should clearly do the opposite if their partner is with them for selfish, and financial gain.