I know this question has been asked before, BUT

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    Feb 19, 2008 1:10 AM GMT
    How do you know if a guy is hitting on you, for example at the gym? I mean, how do you tell the difference between being nice and someone making a pass. A definitely straight guys (confirmed straight) has I think hit on me at the gym, but not sure what to take it for, him just being nice, joking, or what? Any advice?
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 19, 2008 1:29 AM GMT
    Snog him.

    If you get a black eye............he wasn't hitting on you.

    If he slips his tongue down your throat.............he was icon_wink.gif
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    Feb 19, 2008 4:06 AM GMT
    As strange as it sounds, MikePhil has some good advice there.

    Everyone flirts differently and looks for different things to assess if someone is flirting with them. So you just have to get up the courage to make a move. You can play it safe and not do anything and he could take that as a sign of disinterest if he is flirting or just being friendly.

    To have ridiculously hot sex with the straight guy in the gym you have to take risks, or always wonder what would have happened.

    Snog him.
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Feb 19, 2008 4:18 AM GMT
    Mike
    You have great advice many times.... but I don't know if I'd do anything other than visit with the guy and do one of my analyses.. to see what I'm reading..
    However that might not be accurate. Sometimes you can tell and other times, its just too much.
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    Feb 19, 2008 7:04 AM GMT
    you could always just ask him if hes hitting on you, i did and ive been dating the guy for 5 months.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 22, 2008 11:52 AM GMT
    Start talking to the guy...

    If he was hitting on you >>>>>>>>>>>>> Make yourself

    Hittableicon_wink.gif
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    Feb 23, 2008 9:47 AM GMT
    bicurious... mmmm
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    Feb 23, 2008 3:08 PM GMT
    I used to tell by their eyes. Guys that are interested in you will stare at you that extra long second. Even if you think that a guy may be straight, he may be actually bi- and curious. Want to find out for sure? Ask him out for coffee and a talk, what do you have to lose? If he is straight and thinks you are gay then he will say thanks but no thanks.
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    Feb 24, 2008 12:06 AM GMT
    I dont think that i could that forward to the guy, or to a stranger in general, but all good advice, we'll see how it turns out, Thanks guys
  • geebus

    Posts: 216

    Feb 24, 2008 4:25 AM GMT
    I think you should try the basic stare at him and smile technique.

    I got my reply...he stopped coming to my gym icon_cry.gif
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    Feb 24, 2008 6:08 AM GMT
    davisjoe97 saidHow do you know if a guy is hitting on you, for example at the gym? I mean, how do you tell the difference between being nice and someone making a pass. A definitely straight guys (confirmed straight) has I think hit on me at the gym, but not sure what to take it for, him just being nice, joking, or what? Any advice?

    Something about YOU, has caught the attention of this "Confirmed Straight" guy. Just be casually cordial with him, like the "straight" guy that he is. If he has designs on you, then it may become more apparent with time.
    Regarding the term "confirmed straight", I'll quote an old gay friend,"Yeah, he's straight.....straight to bed!!".

  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 24, 2008 12:50 PM GMT
    davisjoe97 saidI dont think that i could that forward to the guy, or to a stranger in general, but all good advice, we'll see how it turns out, Thanks guys

    You don't need to tackle the guy
    Just talk him up
    ask him some stupid question...about working out or school
    anything to get him talking...if he's interested he'll continue from there
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    Feb 24, 2008 1:13 PM GMT
    geebus saidI think you should try the basic stare at him and smile technique.

    I got my reply...he stopped coming to my gym icon_cry.gif


    Not only is he straight but he has no taste!icon_wink.gif
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 24, 2008 1:34 PM GMT
    HndsmKansan saidMike
    You have great advice many times.... but I don't know if I'd do anything other than visit with the guy and do one of my analyses.. to see what I'm reading..
    However that might not be accurate. Sometimes you can tell and other times, its just too much.


    Hey, I was, just joking. Well kinda icon_smile.gif

    Davisjoe97, If you try it, and get a black eye, don't blame me icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 06, 2008 6:43 PM GMT
    When I was younger, I worked at a grocery store, and this guy came through my check-out line. I was staring at him, and doing the look away thing when he noticed. So basically, I was the one hitting on him. (Not meaning too) He made a comment like..."never been hit on by your type before." It completely freaked me out, but I think that if I had been more comfortable with who I was at the time, I would have completely taken him up on it.

    I would suggest some witty come backs that make them know what you think is happening, without making them feel to uncomfortable. But hey...I don't really know!
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    Mar 06, 2008 8:12 PM GMT
    This is a difficult topic for me. My "gaydar" is pretty much non-functional. I'm very shy to being with, and I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they're straight or "metro" unless explicitly told otherwise.

    I had a recent encounter at the gym a few weeks ago. I had gone to use the spa & pool after my workout, and as I was approaching the spa area this really hot early 20yo guy was leaving. He and I exchanged glances, then he took off with his stuff. However a few minutes later, he came back and reentered the spa. We kind of stared at each other for a little while, then a buddy of his came in and they started talking. They were discussing girls, and he mentioned how he wanted to have sex with one but she wouldn't take off her bottom, so I thought "ok, he's straight."

    So I went to swim, and hit the showers afterwards. There was no one else in the shower area, and as I was finishing up he wanders in and takes the empty shower stall directly across from me! I was naked, and there are no shower curtains, so I tried not to stare as he removed his swimming trunks. I noticed him looking at me, but just thought of it as jock curiosity. As I finished toweling off and was walking away, I turned my head briefly and saw that he had stuck his head out of the stall and was looking at me.

    Anyway, that's all that happened and I'm still not sure what to make of it. I've seen him at the gym since, but there haven't been any other encounters, although I do think I get cruised sometimes. Maybe one of these days something will happen, lol.
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    Mar 07, 2008 3:42 AM GMT
    nwphx1972 saidThis is a difficult topic for me. My "gaydar" is pretty much non-functional. I'm very shy to being with, and I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that they're straight or "metro" unless explicitly told otherwise.

    I had a recent encounter at the gym a few weeks ago. I had gone to use the spa & pool after my workout, and as I was approaching the spa area this really hot early 20yo guy was leaving. He and I exchanged glances, then he took off with his stuff. However a few minutes later, he came back and reentered the spa. We kind of stared at each other for a little while, then a buddy of his came in and they started talking. They were discussing girls, and he mentioned how he wanted to have sex with one but she wouldn't take off her bottom, so I thought "ok, he's straight."

    So I went to swim, and hit the showers afterwards. There was no one else in the shower area, and as I was finishing up he wanders in and takes the empty shower stall directly across from me! I was naked, and there are no shower curtains, so I tried not to stare as he removed his swimming trunks. I noticed him looking at me, but just thought of it as jock curiosity. As I finished toweling off and was walking away, I turned my head briefly and saw that he had stuck his head out of the stall and was looking at me.

    Anyway, that's all that happened and I'm still not sure what to make of it. I've seen him at the gym since, but there haven't been any other encounters, although I do think I get cruised sometimes. Maybe one of these days something will happen, lol.


    It's better if you are not shy. Overcome your fears. The worst thing that can happen is getting a NO...or...a black eye which is unlikely nowadays.

    Don't miss out on the wonders of life just because society tends to put us in the closet and the dark. It's time to shine and be yourself with confidence and be happy being for whom you are and with what you do.

    FYI your hot. He is stupid if he doesn't like you
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    Mar 07, 2008 3:46 PM GMT
    im bi curious and wouldnt mind a cheerful "hi" or smile from someone like you. Most str8/bi curious men dont know what we want really ...so going easy is the best way.

    Most men who work out and stay in shape dont mind being looked at or admired in the locker room and for some its a turn on.

    Too much m2m conversation or suggestions for coffee may not be the way to go. If he works out at your gym, chances are you will run into him again.
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    Mar 07, 2008 5:49 PM GMT
    metropolitan saidIt's better if you are not shy. Overcome your fears. The worst thing that can happen is getting a NO...or...a black eye which is unlikely nowadays.

    Don't miss out on the wonders of life just because society tends to put us in the closet and the dark. It's time to shine and be yourself with confidence and be happy being for whom you are and with what you do.

    FYI your hot. He is stupid if he doesn't like you

    Thanks for the kind words. I will take the opening the next time an opportunity presents itself, and let you guys know what happened. icon_smile.gif
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:39 AM GMT
    well for me i kid around like that all the time with my friends. they are all straight and they mostly like to kid around like that. so i figure if i do the same (its actually really fun) they will continue to think i am straight like they are until further notice. because im still in teh closet and plan to stay here for a while lol. its the best at wrestling practice i think. because were all in tights just "dicking" around. buti guess it kinda goes back to when i was in middle school and they guys would play the "sack wacking" game. which was when you'd try and hit the other in the balls? idk just thought id share man. keep me posted will ya? lol
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    Mar 15, 2008 7:39 AM GMT
    well for me i kid around like that all the time with my friends. they are all straight and they mostly like to kid around like that. so i figure if i do the same (its actually really fun) they will continue to think i am straight like they are until further notice. because im still in teh closet and plan to stay here for a while lol. its the best at wrestling practice i think. because were all in tights just "dicking" around. buti guess it kinda goes back to when i was in middle school and they guys would play the "sack wacking" game. which was when you'd try and hit the other in the balls? idk just thought id share man. keep me posted will ya? lol
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    Mar 15, 2008 4:25 PM GMT
    All guys, gay, straight, or nonlabeled, like to be checked out. Straight guys are always alawys checking me out..it's the competition thing, and the macho admiring thing all rolled into one....plus, i think straight guys now feel comfortable enough to check gay guys out without being embarressed ( kind of turning the tables) which makes it trickey nowdays to tell who is flirting and who is just looking.....If I'm interested, I just start talking to the guy about anything...in fact, I don't make it a "hitting on" type of interaction and it takes a while to develop a comfort level Sometimes the guy ends up being in my bed. Other times, gay or straight, he doesn't, but it's fun to have friends and workout buddies.........and being able to laugh with and "smell" your straight buddy is a real turn on in itslef.
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    Apr 05, 2009 10:22 PM GMT
    thanks to everyone for the advice, and just an update on this topic, i went witht he more subtle approach and kind of just kept checking him out and occasional head nod, and he would check me out too, which i definitely liked, couple weeks went by and i ended up over hearing another guy talking to him asking if he saw me checking him out and hwo thats pretty gay.......in a negative way, not sure what that even means......,