Why do guys lie so much

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    Aug 13, 2010 6:41 AM GMT
    Ok I been single for like a year now and this is mainly BOLD TEXT GOES HEREbecause every dude I meet I catch in a lie. One dude I was talking to stopped talking to me out of the blue. I later found out he was married or got married a few months after we started talking. The other dude was talking to my ex and me at the same time, asking why me and my ex broke up i told him abuse and cheating and shit but yea he was still trying. The others say I don't try because I don't txt first. Ok I call them but they nvr answer but yet I'm not trying. It sucks because now I don't whether or not if I like guys because of the b.s. So is it me or them or should i just become a monk
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    Aug 13, 2010 11:22 AM GMT
    Its the same story everywhere, so don't beat yourself for it.
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Aug 13, 2010 11:49 AM GMT
    Fenix_Stone saidOk I been single for like a year now and this is mainly BOLD TEXT GOES HEREbecause every dude I meet I catch in a lie. One dude I was talking to stopped talking to me out of the blue. I later found out he was married or got married a few months after we started talking. The other dude was talking to my ex and me at the same time, asking why me and my ex broke up i told him abuse and cheating and shit but yea he was still trying. The others say I don't try because I don't txt first. Ok I call them but they nvr answer but yet I'm not trying. It sucks because now I don't whether or not if I like guys because of the b.s. So is it me or them or should i just become a monk


    I've learned a lesson recently.
    Guys are pussies.
    They're all huff and puff and no blow.icon_rolleyes.gif

    You will find that they would rather wallow in their own bullshit than actually make an effort to meet a real person.
    And then when you actually meet them, there always seems to be something else that the never mentioned you.
    Pics are out of date, muscular is not actually muscualr, nsa is never nsa and they always expect you to be stupid and believe the crap that they tell you.

    Hence: Guys are pussies.
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    Aug 13, 2010 11:54 AM GMT
    Men lie because they can. They always have and always will. I'm not suggesting it's ok. It simply is. And as we mature we learn to navigate this. We learn which lies we'll accept and which we won't. Otherwise you spend a life in doubt and without any semblance of trust. Yes, you're asking, How can you have trust if you have lies? It goes back to what you value, what is important and what is not. I might mind that he shaved a few years off his age; someone else might not care. Perhaps you might trust that he'll tell certain lies, even though he doesn't have to and yet always will. Point is, as with so much in relationships, it's about the level of compromise at which you're willing to operate.
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    Aug 13, 2010 12:32 PM GMT
    First, you live in a small industrial town in a very gay-unfriendly area, ~40 miles from where I grew up. If the "10% are gay" statistic is correct, you're going to be lucky to find 1% of your local population who's even out of the closet. With such a small group to choose from, it's only natural you're going to base your general opinion on that small group. But it's not correct.

    I know we've talked before, and I stand by what I said before: Work your way out of that town, and go somewhere larger. You need to be in a place with a more diverse crowd if you want to find someone who does not fit the local mentality that's you've grown to loathe. Of course almost 100% of gay men in small-town Arkansas are liars...society shaped them that way, because lying is the only way for a gay man to be accepted there. Even I was a total liar when I lived there, because that's what it took to satisfy my sexual needs. Honesty got me turned down 100% of the time.
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    Aug 13, 2010 12:33 PM GMT
    BECAUSE WE'RE GUYS!!!icon_rolleyes.gif
  • joncfernan

    Posts: 216

    Aug 13, 2010 1:14 PM GMT
    True. They lie because they can. And paul is right - you have to move away from the mentality of gay men in a small town setting. As for the rest, hang in there - you'll find someone who sees relationships the way you do icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 13, 2010 1:29 PM GMT
    And women manipulate. But a character many gay men share with women is character assassination.
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    Aug 13, 2010 2:29 PM GMT
    Well, one guy said this, "nothing wrong with you. It's just all the other males. Seriously."

    ...and another guy said this, "Guys are pussies.
    They're all huff and puff and no blow."

    ...and another said this, "Men lie because they can. They always have and always will."


    and another, this, "True. They lie because they can"

    If the first quote is true, then all of us are liars.

    If the second quote is true, all of us are pussies.

    If the third quote is true, then all of us are liars and will never change.

    If the third quote is true, then we're all going to do horrible things 'because we can'.

    I'd like to offer this, there are liars and there are people that don't. This is found in both genders, and all ages.

    We just lied to Bill's Mom. Her son-in-law and her best friend are loosing their lives to cancer; they're at the end of their days.
    Our dog Spencer has brain cancer. When she asked how ol' Spencer is we told her he's fine. This lie is out of compassion for this 83 year old lady dealing with appalling grief, and as Spencer's cancer is still manageable, another straw across her 'camel's back' is cruel, and at this point, unnecessary.

    Now back to guys. Sometimes liars of the type fenix describes come in waves, other times each of us will meet one honest person after another. If you're going to let some liars or cads turn you off of all men, and allow past experiences to scuttle your future, I feel you're making a rather large mistake. Persevere.

    -Doug

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    Aug 13, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    meninlove said Welul, one guy said this, "nothing wrong with you. It's just all the other males. Seriously."

    ...and another guy said this, "Guys are pussies.
    They're all huff and puff and no blow."

    ...and another said this, "Men lie because they can. They always have and always will."


    and another, this, "True. They lie because they can"

    If the first quote is true, then all of us are liars.

    If the second quote is true, all of us are pussies.

    If the third quote is true, then all of us are liars and will never change.

    If the third quote is true, then we're all going to do horrible things 'because we can'.

    I'd like to offer this, there are liars and there are people that don't. This is found in both genders, and all ages.

    We just lied to Bill's Mom. Her son-in-law and her best friend are loosing their lives to cancer; they're at the end of their days.
    Our dog Spencer has brain cancer. When she asked how ol' Spencer is we told her he's fine. This lie is out of compassion for this 83 year old lady dealing with appalling grief, and as Spencer's cancer is still manageable, another straw across her 'camel's back' is cruel, and at this point, unnecessary.

    Now back to guys. Sometimes liars of the type fenix describes come in waves, other times each of us will meet one honest person after another. If you're going to let some liars or cads turn you off of all men, and allow past experiences to scuttle your future, I feel you're making a rather large mistake. Persevere.



    Well honestly it goes deeper because when I meet guys that lie they remind me of my past and my father who lied to me all the time stood me up and juss doesn't want me. I see this in every guy I meet that say even the smallest lie because my father is like this he asked me to be in his wedding to only push me out by standing me up he stood me up on Christmas and when I was little same thing and me and my father lived together till I was 23. So yea I had to face it and lie to myself growing up that it was not real and now I can't Cus that plate is full of illusions. About the city thing I talk to guys in other states because of the Arkansas thing and they want me to do.all the driving and work I dated a guy 2 hrs away and he.never came to.me I always came to him and if I had a class I would double up my work load and go.there after work but when I would ask when u coming to eldo he said I can't drive that far Cus of my car but yet the club was never a issue in shreveport or Monroe it pissed me off so we ended but it was because of his over he top attitude. The other out of state guys think Cus I live in a small town I'm dumb but yea I'm not so I figure them out leave.

    -Doug