Is he gay? I like him so much...

  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Aug 13, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    Sorry, I accidentally deleted my previous account. So this is the same post as the one below.

    So there's this guy that I like for about a year now but I haven't had the courage to tell him because I'm still in the closet. He always sends me mixed signals about his sexuality and I really don't know what to believe.

    For starters, he always calls my name in a weird falsetto voice for no apparent reason and doesn't reply me when i respond. He's really touchy but I only notice that he's like that with me. Every time we are in close proximity, he rubs my shoulders with his hand or scratches my back. Sometimes, he stands so close to me such that I can feel my lower arm touching his body. He punches my arm ever so often and fiddles with my backpack regularly. There was one time when we were sitting beside each other and he laid his head on my shoulder, but it was there for only 2 seconds and he lifted his head up. Plus, he always teases me by asking me to give him a B***job (though its kinda hard to reject)

    However, there are times when he tells me the types of girls he likes or when there's a movie playing and there's a hot babe in a bikini he would make some sort of short howling sound like a "wooo" kinda thing. Also, I heard him talking about his ex-girlfriend once.
    Sometimes he laughs at me and asks me why do i act so gay and sometimes he says "that's so gay" or calls other people gay in a kinda insulting way.


    Other than that, I really feel that he's gay or, at the very least, bisexual. Or is it just my feelings that are clouding my judgement. Please help me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 13, 2010 2:15 PM GMT
    You should sit yourself down and ask yourself if an emotionally and sexually evasive man is what you want and need. icon_wink.gif
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Aug 14, 2010 2:25 AM GMT
    hmm, I guess it'd be the same for him if he's gay and likes me as I'm still in the closet, hence making me a sexually and emotionally evasive guy too?
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:42 AM GMT
    cracklesizzle saidhmm, I guess it'd be the same for him if he's gay and likes me as I'm still in the closet, hence making me a sexually and emotionally evasive guy too?
    BINGO! I'd suggest working on getting comfortable with yourself and taking a step out of that closet. Lifes a whole lot more enjoyable when you live it honestly. Once that mask comes off you can then work on getting a guy that has his shit together and doesn't play games. Take this advice as you will, but remember, depending on your point of view, you only get one go around. Why not live life to the fullest?
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    Aug 14, 2010 2:48 AM GMT
    I am out and I still have this issue again and again.

    He probably digs you but its better to move on. You need somebody who is upfront with how they feel.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Aug 14, 2010 4:24 AM GMT
    RudeMech said
    cracklesizzle saidhmm, I guess it'd be the same for him if he's gay and likes me as I'm still in the closet, hence making me a sexually and emotionally evasive guy too?
    BINGO! I'd suggest working on getting comfortable with yourself and taking a step out of that closet. Lifes a whole lot more enjoyable when you live it honestly. Once that mask comes off you can then work on getting a guy that has his shit together and doesn't play games. Take this advice as you will, but remember, depending on your point of view, you only get one go around. Why not live life to the fullest?


    thanks for replying! but what do you think his sexuality? Should i tell him I'm gay? I don't wanna lose him as a friend...
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Aug 14, 2010 4:32 AM GMT
    Dude...seriously...I was that guy....he's testing the waters....Next time he starts that blow job bullshit...say something like..."whip it out"....watch his reactions...what do you got to lose.....P.S.....he may just be a cock tease...BUD
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    Aug 14, 2010 5:56 AM GMT
    RudeMech said
    cracklesizzle saidhmm, I guess it'd be the same for him if he's gay and likes me as I'm still in the closet, hence making me a sexually and emotionally evasive guy too?
    BINGO! I'd suggest working on getting comfortable with yourself and taking a step out of that closet. Lifes a whole lot more enjoyable when you live it honestly. Once that mask comes off you can then work on getting a guy that has his shit together and doesn't play games. Take this advice as you will, but remember, depending on your point of view, you only get one go around. Why not live life to the fullest?


    YOu hit it on the mark. First, one needs to come to terms with one's own sexuality before worrying about the sexuality of others....Otherwise, a projection of one's own fears and desires.
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    Aug 14, 2010 6:06 AM GMT
    You gotta accept your self first before you can ever expect others to accept you. Come to terms with your desires and your nature and then formulate a plan with this guy. You best bet is come clean and chat him up in a relazing atmosphere and just be honest with him.

    Worst case scenario is he's straight and not interested or gay and not interested. Im either case case, you simply dust yourself off and move on knowing you'll have your respect in tow.
  • Trauts

    Posts: 1012

    Aug 17, 2010 10:02 AM GMT
    I guess I'm just afraid to take that step of coming out to him if I don't know if he feels the same way about me. I've only told 2 people so far about my orientation and I'm comfortable about that for now... But its really difficult coming out in a country that isn't quite as accepting yet.

    Maybe I should subtly give hints that I like him? What to do?
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    Aug 17, 2010 10:47 AM GMT
    RudeMech said
    cracklesizzle saidhmm, I guess it'd be the same for him if he's gay and likes me as I'm still in the closet, hence making me a sexually and emotionally evasive guy too?
    BINGO! I'd suggest working on getting comfortable with yourself and taking a step out of that closet. Lifes a whole lot more enjoyable when you live it honestly. Once that mask comes off you can then work on getting a guy that has his shit together and doesn't play games. Take this advice as you will, but remember, depending on your point of view, you only get one go around. Why not live life to the fullest?


    This.