Why can't I pick up on who's gay in Europe?

  • flashed

    Posts: 11

    Aug 13, 2010 7:58 PM GMT
    Crazy eh? I was in Sweden and Germany. Understood that being gay isn't something you can just 'tell' (beyond the way obvious), but I just can't get a vibe on normal guys who are or aren't into guys when I travel. I didn't think it was so cultural. Maybe I'm so obviously foreign, or even worse not found attractive in that culture...but I really don't think it's either of those. Hints?
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    Aug 13, 2010 8:12 PM GMT
    it is VERY strongly cultural. You can get flamers everywhere, but once the gucci and pink go it´s much harder.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 13, 2010 8:30 PM GMT
    kentstrongtommy saidEurope is not very open minded, discretion is the key word


    I think it depends on which part of Europe. For example I found places such as Barcelona and Paris much more open then let's say Russia. I did however see one boy strutting his stuff like he was taking part in ''America's Next Top Model'' in Khabarovsk. hehe
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 13, 2010 8:46 PM GMT
    kentstrongtommy said
    KepaArg said
    kentstrongtommy saidEurope is not very open minded, discretion is the key word


    I think it depends on which part of Europe. For example I found places such as Barcelona and Paris much more open then let's say Russia. I did however see one boy strutting his stuff like he was taking part in ''America's Next Top Model'' in Khabarovsk. hehe


    i don't think germany and east europe is open minded, and that's a fact

    insted, spain is open minded, netherlands, and italy



    But, to say Europe as a whole is not open minded is not correct. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 13, 2010 8:56 PM GMT
    Depends on where you are in Germany...
  • Gaymer

    Posts: 111

    Aug 13, 2010 10:17 PM GMT
    This is very disheartening seeing as I am studying abroad in France this fall =(
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 13, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    not really on topic except it's gay and european! however, still a cute ad.

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    Aug 13, 2010 10:28 PM GMT
    kentstrongtommy saidEurope is not very open minded, discretion is the key word


    Romania is not very open-minded.

    The reason you can't pick out who is gay and who isn't is because guys aren't terrified to be perceived as gay (the straight ones) and the gay guys aren't so insecure that they need to strut their stuff all the time. Gay guys in western Europe are more concerned with appearing masculine in my opinion. The walk still gives it away a lot of the time though.
    And guys in Sweden seem too pretty a lot of the time. But I doubt that they would be offended if you told them that they are too good-looking to be straight.
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    Aug 13, 2010 10:32 PM GMT
    KepaArg saidnot really on topic except it's gay and european! however, still a cute ad.


    Ach that is adorable!
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    Aug 13, 2010 10:33 PM GMT
    Europeans are pretty obsessed with cultural integration. Therefore the identity of being French or being a Berliner are more important than being gay.

    That said, I've found that the French, Spanish, Portuguese, Germans, Swedes, English, and Dutch have few issues with gay identity.

    There is no monolithic attitude. Places like Stuttgart are going to be less accepting that places like Cologne, Berlin, or Zurich.

    I find Italy to be unbelievably backwards. The gay guys I've met in the last ten years are all sort of stuck in the 1960's. There is precious little happiness amongst the gay men that I have met in Italy. I always think of Italy as sort of stuck in "the Boys in the Band".


    Oh, by the way, I utterly love that ad. So do all of my French straight friends.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 13, 2010 10:43 PM GMT
    UrsaMajor saidEuropeans are pretty obsessed with cultural integration. Therefore the identity of being French or being a Berliner are more important than being gay.

    That said, I've found that the French, Spanish, Portuguese, Germans, Swedes, English, and Dutch have few issues with gay identity.

    There is no monolithic attitude. Places like Stuttgart are going to be less accepting that places like Cologne, Berlin, or Zurich.

    I find Italy to be unbelievably backwards. The gay guys I've met in the last ten years are all sort of stuck in the 1960's. There is precious little happiness amongst the gay men that I have met in Italy. I always think of Italy as sort of stuck in "the Boys in the Band".


    Oh, by the way, I utterly love that ad. So do all of my French straight friends.


    Yea me too, it always makes me smile! icon_smile.gif

    True about Italy, I have noticed that Northern Italians seem more relaxed and open-minded versus the Southern Italians. I do however have a weird attraction to Italy as I lost my virginity there, and dated an Italian boy who was here for the summer- even though we aren't together due to distance we still keep in touch. Thank you facebook icon_smile.gif
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    Aug 13, 2010 10:54 PM GMT
    Europeans are narrow-minded when it comes to homossexuality, period.

    They don't accept it much. Gay Europeans are either too self-conscious to let people figure them out or too closeted to be gay in the first place.

    It's better in the metropolitan cities. But that's everywhere. No wonder we don't shut up about London, NY, Madrid, Rio, Miami, Toronto, etc.
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    Aug 13, 2010 11:01 PM GMT
    romania is not open minded. germany is. i think is safe to say the same thing about netherlands and all nordic countries and most western european countries. europe is more open minded than the states i believe

    in spain i believe gay marriage is legal, not sure. but i know two lesbians that are married and live in Barcelona...

    eastern europe is narrow-minded, the rest is open-minded.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 13, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    BuckYou saidromania is not open minded. germany is. i think is safe to say the same thing about netherlands and all nordic countries and most western european countries. europe is more open minded than the states i believe

    in spain i believe gay marriage is legal, not sure. but i know two lesbians that are married and live in Barcelona...

    eastern europe is narrow-minded, the rest is open-minded.


    Yes, gay marriage is legal there.
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    Aug 13, 2010 11:06 PM GMT
    Leo123 saidEuropeans are narrow-minded when it comes to homossexuality, period.

    They don't accept it much. Gay Europeans are either too self-conscious to let people figure them out or too closeted to be gay in the first place.

    It's better in the metropolitan cities. But that's everywhere. No wonder we don't shut up about London, NY, Madrid, Rio, Miami, Toronto, etc.


    you live in new york, how could you know this?... europeans are very tolerant in general.

    UrsaMajor just told the truth about europe. there is no problem being gay here, as long as you are closer to the west than the east

    when my brother called me to visit him in austria, his girlfriend said i should bring my girlfriend or boyfriend, whatever i had. i was stunned. she even made my brother laugh at this like there is no problem, and i come from a family that would never accept me as a gay.
    not only she would have been ok with it but she made my brother act like it would be nothing special if i was gay.

    and europeans are so ok with gays because the cultural diversity is extraordinary here, you see crazy people from your point of view everywhere, nothing impresses or scares you anymore.
  • hallyhallo

    Posts: 539

    Aug 14, 2010 12:03 AM GMT
    kentstrongtommy said
    KepaArg said
    kentstrongtommy saidEurope is not very open minded, discretion is the key word


    I think it depends on which part of Europe. For example I found places such as Barcelona and Paris much more open then let's say Russia. I did however see one boy strutting his stuff like he was taking part in ''America's Next Top Model'' in Khabarovsk. hehe


    i don't think germany and east europe is open minded, and that's a fact

    insted, spain is open minded, netherlands, and italy



    Being German I have to disagree. Germany is more open-minded than a lot of places in the US. Hey, we have a gay secretary of state who is taking his partner with him on his travels. And there are several openly gay governors such as in hamburg or berlin. Of course there are always exceptions like everywhere else.
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    Aug 14, 2010 12:06 AM GMT
    icon_lol.gif
    Well for starter's the customs in Europe are way more liberal than America.
    So you certainly as Hell can't apply the same stuff from one Country to another.
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    Aug 14, 2010 12:14 AM GMT
    Urban gay-dar needs european frequency.
  • hdurdinr

    Posts: 699

    Aug 14, 2010 12:24 AM GMT
    You can't say that Europeans aren't very open minded! It would be like if I said "all Americans are stupid"

    -Don't forget that Europe is not a country divided in to federal states - each country has a very unique culture and within that you will find open and close-minded individuals. Italians tend not to be very open towards homosexuality whereas I would say England and Germany are despite what people's preconceived idea might be. Try refusing a gay couple in England or Germany at a hotel or guest house and see how far you get. In some places in Germany there are centers for victims of same-sex domestic abuse!
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    Aug 14, 2010 12:46 AM GMT
    I think "Gaydar" is culturally tuned. I live in Japan, and let me tell you, sometimes I think everyone is gay. LOL The point is... my gaydar is off-kilter in a non-Americanized country and needs to be re-calibration for where I am. If you're visiting some other place, I think it might take some more time. Take your gaydar to a fix-it shop or just get the latest model. I hear the GX-5000a is very good. ;-)
  • conquer

    Posts: 305

    Aug 14, 2010 1:30 AM GMT
    i've done a far bit of backpacking through europe and it can be tough to spot the gays. barcelona is by far the easiest, its a very forward thinking city in all respects. i have a hard time meeting gays while backpacking general, in all the times i've gone i've met one gay guy, and one lesbian. people tend to keep it to them selves in hostels, but even with my gaydar thats only 50% right most of the time you'd think i'd meet some along the way
  • metta

    Posts: 39104

    Aug 14, 2010 1:32 AM GMT
    Practice more:

    http://www.blairmag.com/blair3/gaydar/euro.html


    (j/k)
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    flashed saidCrazy eh? I was in Sweden and Germany. Understood that being gay isn't something you can just 'tell' (beyond the way obvious), but I just can't get a vibe on normal guys who are or aren't into guys when I travel. I didn't think it was so cultural. Maybe I'm so obviously foreign, or even worse not found attractive in that culture...but I really don't think it's either of those. Hints?


    You need a european gaydar.
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    Aug 14, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    I was in Europe for 7 months last year. Spain,France,Germany are very open-minded. The new generation of germans are actually very cool and down-to-earth,and the guys there are hotter than most Europe...
    Budapest is also really open-minded,but its the world's porn capital.
    Overall, Id say that Europe is definitely more accepting, but it's much harder to see which guy is gay because in some countries,like Spain,the guys are really touchy so if he touches another guy it doesnt mean anything. In france, the guy are all skinny and they often look gay even if they are not...Lots of cultural differences!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 14, 2010 3:59 AM GMT
    BuckYou said
    europeans are very tolerant in general.

    UrsaMajor just told the truth about europe. there is no problem being gay here, as long as you are closer to the west than the east



    Agreed. Even in smaller cities like Wuerzburg (in central Germany), same-sex couples I met feel very comfortably accepted. (West) Germans are, in general, very open-minded.