What are the chances?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 4:05 AM GMT
    Hey this is directed toward BI guys.

    You can really skip this and go to the my question part.

    I've had my reservations and prejudices towards dating a bi guy for my own reasons but I met one who I really do like, and I'd like to know your personal opinion. If a forum like this already exists and you direct me to it awesome and thanks in advance


    My Question:
    So bi guys my question is what are the chances you'd choose to live the rest of your life with a man and be criticized for it or choose to live the rest of your life with a woman and live a "typical" lifestyle?
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    Aug 15, 2010 4:10 AM GMT
    Wow, this is a completely different, interesting, and excellent question.
    I've never heard it asked this way before.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 3:04 PM GMT
    As a bi guy, I've recently found that it's been getting easier to come out to my friends and family... which has been great letting people know the truth.
    For me, I've recently figured out that you don't have to choose between a man and a woman, its all about the people you meet and nothing else. I always thought, even when I was in a semi-relationship with a guy, that I was meant to date a girl, get married, have kids,etc... But now I've kind of came to realize that it doesn't matter who I choose. If the next person I choose to date is a guy, so be it, and same if it's a woman. If you are truly bi, you fall in love with the person, not their sex.
    I think the prejudiced of being in love with a guy would cause some difficulties if I choose to go down that road, but I don't think that would corrupt how I feel about the guy enough to make me choose women in the end.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:00 PM GMT
    Cool yea I'm just afraid to pursue something with this guy not because I'd feel i'm competing against to sexes for his attraction but because I'd feel like I'd be competing against a "normal" lifestyle.

    I know if I was truly Bi and had an equal/any attraction toward women I'd choose a woman to eventually spend the rest of my life with.

    I just find it terrifying as a gay man to compete for a bi man's heart.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:04 PM GMT
    Hate to be the one who says what, potentially, many are thinking ...

    But there is no such thing as a bi man.

    Bi man = halfway out the closet gay.

    Your question is the one I've put to many "bi" men, and the responses have clarified my stereotype.

    Again, sorry.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:21 PM GMT
    Brit, How can you say with authority that there is no such thing as a Bi man?

    We know a lot of openly Bi men and women that completely and emphatically disagree with you, but they DO agree with Allathlete.

    curious, -Doug
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
    meninlove said Brit, How can you say with authority that there is no such thing as a Bi man?

    We know a lot of openly Bi men and women that completely and emphatically disagree with you, but they DO agree with Allathlete.

    curious, -Doug


    Man, no way do I say it with "authority". Personal belief/experience, all the way.

    My experience with bisexual men, and the formation of my ideas as to why they declare themselves to be bi can be summarised in the (honest) answer to the question:

    "So bi guys my question is what are the chances you'd choose to live the rest of your life with a man and be criticized for it or choose to live the rest of your life with a woman and live a "typical" lifestyle?"

    The bi men I've met are, ultimately, closeted, sometimes married/engaged and do men on the side. No WAY would they "marry" a man.

    What's the likelyhood of ever hearing a true story about a man who's married to another man, but has an "affair" with a woman? Seriously?

    I won't, however, go into the bisexual tendencies of the fairer sex. They balls up my arguments completely and confuse me. Women are just ... something Shakespeare probably said but I can't remember, lol. Women are fluid and sensitive and ... feminine?

    As for gay men. ...

    I and a few of my mates at school were "bi" till we came out for good and I see this pattern with many young gay men.

    More than happy to hear real life stories that will make me change my mind. Seriously, more than happy.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    Oh, and without wanting to patronise Allathlete, can we perhaps wait till he's 22 before we ask him again?

    OK that was a wanker's response but many a true word spoken in jest and shit!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    My chances of my settling down with a man...very slim.

    My chances of settling down with a chick...good.


    I have yet to meet a guy that's truly compatable with me inside and out. As far as women go, funny thing is that I'm having more luck with them now than ever before. I say that no guy can ever turn me completely gay. Prove me wrong.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    Bisexuality is often a misused term but Allathlete is right, a person that is truely bisexual sees the person not the gender.

    Most bisexual dudes are not this however...

    1) Some are closeted gay men who feel because they don't fit a stereotype must be bisexual...

    2) Guys who do not care and a hole is a hole

    3) Heterosexual men who are bicurious and more often than not are much more emotionally attracted to a choice few men rather than the sexual nature.

    I say this from experiences with bisexual men...
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:36 PM GMT
    agri_sci saidBisexuality is often a misused term but Allathlete is right, a person that is truely bisexual sees the person not the gender.

    Most bisexual dudes are not this however...

    1) Some are closeted gay men who feel because they don't fit a stereotype must be bisexual...

    2) Guys who do not care and a hole is a hole

    3) Heterosexual men who are bicurious and more often than not are much more emotionally attracted to a choice few men rather than the sexual nature.

    I say this from experiences with bisexual men...


    You missed out

    4) Young homosexual men yet to accept their sexuality and labouring under the (misguided) assumption that "half normal" is better than not normal at all.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:37 PM GMT
    Brit_Bloke saidWhat's the likelyhood of ever hearing a true story about a man who's married to another man, but has an "affair" with a woman? Seriously?


    Interesting. You do have a point there. It's difficult to answer, as I don't identify myself as bi. Perhaps bi guys are socially conditioned to take the path of least resistance, when it comes to forming long-term relationships.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:42 PM GMT
    Brit_Bloke said
    agri_sci saidBisexuality is often a misused term but Allathlete is right, a person that is truely bisexual sees the person not the gender.

    Most bisexual dudes are not this however...

    1) Some are closeted gay men who feel because they don't fit a stereotype must be bisexual...

    2) Guys who do not care and a hole is a hole

    3) Heterosexual men who are bicurious and more often than not are much more emotionally attracted to a choice few men rather than the sexual nature.

    I say this from experiences with bisexual men...


    You missed out

    4) Young homosexual men yet to accept their sexuality and labouring under the (misguided) assumption that "half normal" is better than not normal at all.


    Nope because you are speaking from an opinion that people are one way or the other....Kinsey proposed that sexuality is a spectrum and most people fall near the extremes but not entirely. I deal with number threes on a regular basis. Most of my close guys friends fall into this category because being bromantically involved with a gay dude is a bit odd.

    Why do you feel this need to force people to say they are something they are not?
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:43 PM GMT
    Say thanks Brit, just Doug now...I know a guy who's trying to break off his relationship with a bi guy but is so in love he can't seem to.
    His fault in a way. His Bi BF was allowed to have fun with girls but not with other guys. My friend dumbly thought that his bf doing girls was no big deal and that 'gay monogamy' was intact. O.o 'gay monogamy'. srsly. I told him monogamy is monogamy, and open is open; you can't divide the behaviour by gender. icon_rolleyes.gif

    So, the Bi bf has a little harem of two or more cougars, and at least three younger gals that want the fun without the commitment. It's getting really messy now with my friend hating the girls hanging around because now they're trying to get my friend into the sack and he's not Bi in the least.

    The girls aren't 'Bi'-ing his protests, lol! (sorry, bad pun) icon_redface.gif

    -Doug
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:46 PM GMT
    meninlove said Say thanks Brit, just Doug now...I know a guy who's trying to break off his relationship with a bi guy but is so in love he can't seem to.
    His fault in a way. His Bi BF was allowed to have fun with girls but not with other guys. My friend dumbly thought that his bf doing girls was no big deal and that 'gay monogamy' was intact. O.o 'gay monogamy'. srsly. I told him monogamy is monogamy, and open is open; you can't divide the behaviour by gender. icon_rolleyes.gif

    So, the Bi bf has a little harem of two or more cougars, and at least three younger gals that want the fun without the commitment. It's getting really messy now with my friend hating the girls hanging around because now they're trying to get my friend into the sack and he's not Bi in the least.

    The girls aren't 'Bi'-ing his protests, lol! (sorry, bad pun) icon_redface.gif

    -Doug


    Lol that's funny, so the girls are trying to get it on with the "gay" guy?

    If the other half (bi) guy is getting all jiggy with the girls still, I stand ... confused ... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:48 PM GMT
    agri_sci said
    Brit_Bloke said
    agri_sci saidBisexuality is often a misused term but Allathlete is right, a person that is truely bisexual sees the person not the gender.

    Most bisexual dudes are not this however...

    1) Some are closeted gay men who feel because they don't fit a stereotype must be bisexual...

    2) Guys who do not care and a hole is a hole

    3) Heterosexual men who are bicurious and more often than not are much more emotionally attracted to a choice few men rather than the sexual nature.

    I say this from experiences with bisexual men...


    You missed out

    4) Young homosexual men yet to accept their sexuality and labouring under the (misguided) assumption that "half normal" is better than not normal at all.


    Nope because you are speaking from an opinion that people are one way or the other....Kinsey proposed that sexuality is a spectrum and most people fall near the extremes but not entirely. I deal with number threes on a regular basis. Most of my close guys friends fall into this category because being bromantically involved with a gay dude is a bit odd.

    Why do you feel this need to force people to say they are something they are not?


    Don't feel the need at all .. hence my invitation for arguments that will change my potentially warped opinion.

    But, er ... let's not go all Kinsey? One in ten my arse and his methodology was questionable. Neither the time nor the place ... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:51 PM GMT


    He's not the only one, lol!

    We have another friend we haven't seen in a few years and his BF likes to occasionally dress up in some of his on and off girl-FB's undies.

    Our friend would break up with his bi BF over it then get they'd back together.

    It really is a rather complicated world. icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:53 PM GMT
    meninlove said

    He's not the only one, lol!

    We have another friend we haven't seen in a few years and his BF likes to occasionally dress up in some of his on and off girl-FB's undies.

    Our friend would break up with his bi BF over it then get they'd back together.

    It really is a rather complicated world. icon_eek.gif


    LMFAO (Belloe moment there) and now you've just made it all the more complicated haha!! OK my bigotry has its limits, I give up!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 8:54 PM GMT
    Brit_Bloke said
    agri_sci said
    Brit_Bloke said
    agri_sci saidBisexuality is often a misused term but Allathlete is right, a person that is truely bisexual sees the person not the gender.

    Most bisexual dudes are not this however...

    1) Some are closeted gay men who feel because they don't fit a stereotype must be bisexual...

    2) Guys who do not care and a hole is a hole

    3) Heterosexual men who are bicurious and more often than not are much more emotionally attracted to a choice few men rather than the sexual nature.

    I say this from experiences with bisexual men...


    You missed out

    4) Young homosexual men yet to accept their sexuality and labouring under the (misguided) assumption that "half normal" is better than not normal at all.


    Nope because you are speaking from an opinion that people are one way or the other....Kinsey proposed that sexuality is a spectrum and most people fall near the extremes but not entirely. I deal with number threes on a regular basis. Most of my close guys friends fall into this category because being bromantically involved with a gay dude is a bit odd.

    Why do you feel this need to force people to say they are something they are not?


    Don't feel the need at all .. hence my invitation for arguments that will change my potentially warped opinion.

    But, er ... let's not go all Kinsey? One in ten my arse and his methodology was questionable. Neither the time nor the place ... icon_rolleyes.gif


    I was agreeing with his concept is that sexuality is fluid broksi. Methodology is sketchy at best but the concept was good, If the social norms permitted it, more heterosexual men would act on homosexual impulses.

    As for the demographics of sexuality...since sexuality is self-defined,,,any statistic is bogus.
  • KepaArg

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    Aug 15, 2010 10:05 PM GMT
    My chances of seriously dating a bi-guy are slim to none. Nothing against them, but there are plenty of available masculine gay men.

    I don't get understand some guys in this forum who say they won't date a man cause they are too ''picky'', but would date a female. So you lower your standards for the opposite sex? icon_rolleyes.gif
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Aug 15, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
    Men and women are proving to be as equally difficult lol

    If one day I meet the man of my dreams then OK icon_biggrin.gif

    If one day I meet the woman of my dreams, then OK icon_biggrin.gif

    But at the end of the day you don't HAVE to do anything. You can be single and happy. I certainly would never date both at the same time. But I leave this to God and fate. I am just trying to steer in the directions he wants me to go in icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 15, 2010 10:11 PM GMT
    Jmuscle33 saidMen and women are proving to be as equally difficult lol

    If one day I meet the man of my dreams then OK icon_biggrin.gif

    If one day I meet the woman of my dreams, then OK icon_biggrin.gif

    But at the end of the day you don't HAVE to do anything. You can be single and happy. I certainly would never date both at the same time. But I leave this to God and fate. I am just trying to steer in the directions he wants me to go in icon_razz.gif


    Very well said...keeping an open mind will enable you to be happier!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 10:13 PM GMT
    agri_sci said... If the social norms permitted it, more heterosexual men would act on homosexual impulses.

    As for the demographics of sexuality...since sexuality is self-defined,,,any statistic is bogus.
    Those are two of the truest statements I've ever seen on this forum. icon_wink.gif
  • Joeyphx444

    Posts: 2382

    Aug 15, 2010 10:14 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    agri_sci said... If the social norms permitted it, more heterosexual men would act on homosexual impulses.

    As for the demographics of sexuality...since sexuality is self-defined,,,any statistic is bogus.
    Those are two of the truest statements I've ever seen on this forum. icon_wink.gif


    Yes agri_sci is pretty smart icon_biggrin.gif underrated guy in the forums
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 15, 2010 10:19 PM GMT
    As Bi men do you feel like social acceptance comes into play at all when seeing yourself in a long term relationship with a man or woman?