The skinny guy at the gym.

  • tmm6497

    Posts: 102

    Aug 16, 2010 3:43 AM GMT
    I've been trying to get back into the gym but my insecurities are getting in the way. First off, I have always been very insecure with my body, so I've finally decided to do something about it and change it. The problem is, when I head to the gym, I feel like a total idiot. It always seems that I'm the only skinny guy there trying to lift weights. I always feel like everyone is watching me, which I know is not true at all. Anyone have any tips to get over this? Anyone else been in this situation before?
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    Aug 16, 2010 4:04 AM GMT
    I used to feel the same back in college. That's why I started working out at home. I wanted to develop a decent body before actually being seen in public at the gym. icon_lol.gif

    But then I thought that was pretty silly. And I was starting to hit some limitations in my workouts with only a bench press and free weights in the garage. So I joined a gym. I got over the insecurities pretty quickly.

    The thing you should remember is that everyone has to start somewhere. It's not like people are born with fit bodies. Even the beefiest guy at the gym probably started out skinny, or flabby.

    I think you should join a gym and hire a trainer for a few months. The trainer will help you get familiar with the equipment, and he'll teach you how to perform the exercises properly. After you build up your comfort level, you can go on your own. Then the gym will be your home away from home. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 16, 2010 6:24 AM GMT
    As long as you do your exercises with proper form and not try anything silly, I'm sure you'll be fine. I'm a hard gainer as well, and I pretty much got over my insecurities by assuring myself that everyone's there to improve themselves and not to judge others, which is actually true! Stay focused on your own workouts and leave. Don't waste time, hang around or stare at other people working out and you'll be much happier.
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    Aug 16, 2010 7:01 AM GMT
    tjmeany said... I always feel like everyone is watching me, which I know is not true at all. Anyone have any tips to get over this? Anyone else been in this situation before?


    Of course they're looking at you! You're cute as fucking shit! So relax and enjoy it. icon_twisted.gif

    In the mean time...

    I can understand how you feel. I started out the same way. What I did was put my earbuds in and just got into my music, and into my workout. I still noticed other guys, and they were noticing me.

    The gym is paradise for narcissists, voyeurs, and exhibitionists alike. I am blessed in that I am all three. Where else do you have mirrors everywhere, scantily clad men, huffing, puffing, and posing. Looking either at yourself or others is part of the joy of going. That's why it's called "eye candy". Enjoy it!

    You look just fine. Now go get scantily clad and go work out! icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 16, 2010 10:34 AM GMT
    To be honest, I'd be perving at you nonstop.

    But as some others have said, as long as you use correct form and don't try and be a hero in the gym, you'll be fine icon_smile.gif
  • Sayrnas

    Posts: 847

    Aug 16, 2010 11:15 AM GMT
    Well, you are cute. So, if people are looking at you, change the emotion you're feeling to a positive one. Negative thoughts only foster more negative thoughts. Embrace the hot, and sexy man that you are!

    Secondly, get in a zone or go with a friend. Don't make working out a hassle or some kind of obstacle.

    And lastly...don't settle! Work till you get tired...and then keep going on a lower weight. Push and push till you got nothing left to push (giggity but for real)

    ^_^=b
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    Aug 16, 2010 11:17 AM GMT
    u gon be fine dude.... eat a lot more fo sho'

    just dont be like this....and by this i mean wear fukin jeans to the gym....lolz

    if yo ass wears denim people are gonna let the barbell crush yo chest (as they should). icon_cool.gif

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    Aug 16, 2010 11:32 AM GMT
    I´d be looking at you all the time, seeing if there was any reason I could find to go and "help" you icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 16, 2010 11:37 AM GMT
    xrichx said
    I think you should join a gym and hire a trainer for a few months. The trainer will help you get familiar with the equipment, and he'll teach you how to perform the exercises properly. After you build up your comfort level, you can go on your own. Then the gym will be your home away from home. icon_wink.gif


    That's exactly what I did. I'm using the machines on my own while he helps me with correct form with the free weights and more complicated machines (read: that don't have printed instructions on the machineicon_smile.gif )(I'm hoping the last sentence isn't going to be true though.
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    Aug 16, 2010 11:43 AM GMT
    Hi there.

    I totally know how you feel about being watched. But as everybody has said, I'd be looking at you too if you worked out at my gyms.

    Anyhow, my solution to the problem is to work out when the gym is almost desolated and that's always in the the late morning for me, like around 10 - 12AM. I know this is not the case for every gym, but it could work.

    Alternatively, find a workout buddy. He could help keep you focused on the exercises. If I work out with a friend or two, I always find that I'm more focused on my routine and my friends, rather than people in the gym, who might or might not be watching.

    That's just my two cents. I hope my suggestions help.
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    Aug 16, 2010 11:54 AM GMT
    Every guy has either been the skinny guy in the gym or the fat guy in the gym, no one goes into a gym already ripped and muscular!

    Don't have any good advice other than get over it - just focus on what you have to do, don't pay any attention to what's around you - I can almost guarantee no one is paying much attention to you, so don't feel so self-conscious!
  • Jr_boy

    Posts: 35

    Aug 16, 2010 12:19 PM GMT
    U have to start some where, and most of the guys there didn't look as good as they do now. Take that as motivation/inspiration.

    It doesn't look cool, but do a lot of strength training to begin, it will help with a lot of gain later one when you get in to more weight lifting. Hell I'm still the 'slim' type, not bulky at all, but it'll take time, we're in same boat. Discipline! Don't give up! think of what u want to become.
  • Buddha

    Posts: 1766

    Aug 16, 2010 12:21 PM GMT
    I kind of feel the same way but I'd take nickfit's advice; just think of the fact that you're doing this for yourself.
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    Aug 16, 2010 12:59 PM GMT
    Same here, man. I've been 125 all my life, and then blimped up to 130 in my forties. Didn't want to go to a gym, for fears of high school P.E. classes being replayed... that and having an enormous tent in my pants! icon_exclaim.gif

    But on a 3-month business trip to CT last year it was too cold to go jogging outside, so went to a Planet Fitness that the hotel had an arrangement with, to use the treadmills. Something told me to try the weight machines over in the corner, where they had a Curves-like circuit set up. I tried it, and liked it. icon_surprised.gif

    For the next year's business trip in several different cities, I worked out, simply doing 12 reps on each machine the gym offered. (Hey, I didn't know what I was doing.) Was able to up the weight every once in a while. This included naked workouts at the gyms in Pittsburgh and St. Louis! icon_eek.gif

    About six months ago I found www.BodyBuilding.com which is not just for bodybuilders, but for anyone who wants to learn what to do in the gym. Click WORKOUTS over in the left nav bar, and look for Kris' 12-Week Video Workout, it is awesome. Then I found RealJock and their 12-week workouts also. icon_confused.gif

    I'll never be ripped and buff like the guys at my gym, but I'm definitely bigger and stronger than I was, and have a lot more confidence than before. AND I still up the weight on each machine on a regular basis! icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 16, 2010 1:28 PM GMT
    I feel like a boring person if I'm NOT being watched in the gym.
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    Aug 16, 2010 1:58 PM GMT
    Been there. You feel that way because you don't feel like your current form yet & embarrassed about it (personal thought) icon_smile.gif
    Just focus on what you're there for & when you feel satisfied about ur result, this won't be your problem anymore icon_smile.gif
  • ja89

    Posts: 789

    Aug 16, 2010 2:07 PM GMT
    I never really had that feeling before, but I do notice a lot of guys staring at me. regardless of how big you are, people are gonna stare at you. I think it gives them something to do while they wait for the next set. haha. BUT a way to get over it while gaining some knowledge would be to ask one of the bigger guys for help on form and new workouts. Usually they don't really mind providing help to anyone who is learning/trying. Hope this works for you and good luck man. I'm still looking for the key thing to do so I can gain weight again.
  • tmm6497

    Posts: 102

    Aug 16, 2010 3:11 PM GMT
    Thanks everyone for the responses. icon_biggrin.gif I'm just gonna suck it up and do it. I have a work out buddy too, so that should help.
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    Aug 16, 2010 3:18 PM GMT
    I know the feeling man, I battle with this all the time, and then say, fuck it! I am going!!!

    I have a problem with this also as in my gym all the free weights are down stairs in a separate room, which I like because its like your in your own private gym down there, LIke a little hardcore gym, but....the attendant that works that area down there just stands there and stares at everyone and it drives me fucking nuts!!! He doesn't smile, say how are you doing, nothing!! And of course it doesn't help that hes drop dead gorgeous and built like brick shit house, so its very intimidating!!!


    On the other hand, I have seen this one girl down there quite a bit when I go. She is considerably overweight, but she gets down there with all the guys, lifts her weights with her ipod on and has a great workout and does her thing!! She inspires me more than the big built guys because I can only imagine how insecure or out of place she must feel also.

    Sometimes you gotta just say fuck it, Im paying my dues and Im going and screw everyone else, if they don't like the way you look, then they don't have to look at you...but I bet if they are looking at you its not in a negative way by looking at your pics.

  • mustangd

    Posts: 434

    Aug 16, 2010 3:24 PM GMT
    i see 2 issues here. first, you are young and attractive, both sexes are gong to look at you no matter where you are.

    second, when at the gym the key word is "focus". not outwardly, on yourself. you have a set of goals, things you want to change about your body? then focus on those things. the internet is a great source of information. not everything works for everyone the same way when it comes to workout routines. you will have to experiment a bit to find out what your body reacts to and how. but, the general rules apply to everyone. develop a loose set of routines, ones that you don't repeat predictably. your body will learn what you are doing, so if you always do the same sets on monday for example, you will hit a plateau, as your muscles will develop an immunity to your routine. keeping your workouts unpredicitable has another advantage, if on monday you always do chest, what happens if all the chest apparati are in use on monday? so keep it lose, just make sure you get all your body parts worked on during the week. also, remember to utilize your bodys metabolism. if doing chest on a given day, do back the same day, as you are wanting to build syymetry and, your body reacts to strained muscle, which is what you are doing when you workout. lifting strains the muscle, which then reacts by repairing it, and increasing its size to adapt to the strain put upon it. so, remember symmetry, balance your routines, biceps and triceps together, chest and back together, quads' and hamstrings together.

    lastly, forget about the other people in the gym other than being courteous. "focus" on what you are doing. simply lifting something heavy doesn't energize the muscle group, you can even hurt yourself if done in bad form. start with a light weight, and feel the muscle as you lift the weight slowly, i use the term "radar", search for that burn or strain exactly where it should be, if you feel your back burn when you are doing biceps for example, you are using your back when you shouldn't be to hoist the weight. once you have developed good form, then start adding weight.

    don't be self-concious. life is WAY to short... focus on your goals...
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 16, 2010 3:27 PM GMT
    I see thin guys working out at the gym all the time. Consider it a learning experience initially. We had to all learn at some point and the serious people wouldn't (and don't) think a think about trainers working with new members with the machines and weights. Most people are too busy working with their own routines to notice too much.... and what you are doing isn't stupid.. just the opposite and most in your gym will realize it.

    Nothing at all to be concerned about. Get busy and let us know how you are doing!

    icon_biggrin.gif
  • Android17

    Posts: 346

    Aug 16, 2010 3:40 PM GMT
    nycjosh saidu gon be fine dude.... eat a lot more fo sho'

    just dont be like this....and by this i mean wear fukin jeans to the gym....lolz

    if yo ass wears denim people are gonna let the barbell crush yo chest (as they should). icon_cool.gif



    Oww I'm like him icon_redface.gif, don't laught about this, is not funny icon_mad.gif
  • Vaughn

    Posts: 1880

    Aug 16, 2010 3:47 PM GMT
    tjmeany saidI've been trying to get back into the gym but my insecurities are getting in the way. First off, I have always been very insecure with my body, so I've finally decided to do something about it and change it. The problem is, when I head to the gym, I feel like a total idiot. It always seems that I'm the only skinny guy there trying to lift weights. I always feel like everyone is watching me, which I know is not true at all. Anyone have any tips to get over this? Anyone else been in this situation before?


    You get over it. = ]
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    Aug 16, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    Sayrnas saidWell, you are cute. So, if people are looking at you, change the emotion you're feeling to a positive one. Negative thoughts only foster more negative thoughts. Embrace the hot, and sexy man that you are!

    Secondly, get in a zone or go with a friend. Don't make working out a hassle or some kind of obstacle.

    And lastly...don't settle! Work till you get tired...and then keep going on a lower weight. Push and push till you got nothing left to push (giggity but for real)

    ^_^=b


    True all this. And, keep a log of some kind so that you can baseline and measure your progress. I have an iPhone and use the "Fit Builder" app. It costs about $20, but it is worth it because I don't have to lug a paper pad with me, AND I can look at pictures of how exercises should be performed.

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    Aug 16, 2010 3:55 PM GMT
    Almost everybody on this site has probably felt this. Basically, just keep going to the gym and as you become more comfortable there you will stop stressing about this. Any time you are in an unfamiliar environment you are going to feel uncomfortable at first.