Aug 16, 2010 8:29 PM GMT
So I had a question...
First some backstory though: So I've always considered myself a pretty fem guy; even before I identified as gay. I wouldn't say I'm a totally queen (not that there's anything wrong with that). That isn't the case at all. I'd probably be a 65/35 split to be honest. The former being the obviously being the feminine proportion of my persona. (This includes my appearance - I've never set out to look like a chick but that doesn't stop every store clerk in history from calling me 'mam' or 'miss' or from greeting me and my friends with a warm "Hello ladies".
Now as we all know masculinity and masculine qualities are a prized possession throughout most of the world; the gay world/community being no exception.
Everyone (a terrible generalization I know - but it does hold true for the majority) wants that super masculine guy and I'm the skinny androgynous guy.
So naturally I've had some trouble attracting men.
Now I'm not complaining. It only makes since that gay men - men who are attracted to other men - and subsequently attracted to masculinity - would want to date men, who, well... look and act like men. This I understand.
But it does get lonely sometimes.
The only guys that ever take interest in me are self- proclaimed 'straight men' and they are only interested having a sexual relationship with me. Which is not what I'm looking for. I wanna date. And that requires getting together with a gay male. Haha.
So...When the masculine guys want the masculine guys and the feminine guys want the masculine guys where does that leave someone like me?
Well it feels like the situation leaves me with a decision to make.
Butch up or stay forever in 'No-mans-land'. Pun intended.
So my question is: What should I do?
I'm seriously considering trying to change most things about myself in order to adopt a more...manly role. Problem is I feel like that would be lying to myself and whoever I get involved with.
Change or wait for someone who likes the real me - although it might be quite a long wait?
(Excuse my grammar. I was writing as I would speak and in a hurry. The splices are ridiculous.)
First some backstory though: So I've always considered myself a pretty fem guy; even before I identified as gay. I wouldn't say I'm a totally queen (not that there's anything wrong with that). That isn't the case at all. I'd probably be a 65/35 split to be honest. The former being the obviously being the feminine proportion of my persona. (This includes my appearance - I've never set out to look like a chick but that doesn't stop every store clerk in history from calling me 'mam' or 'miss' or from greeting me and my friends with a warm "Hello ladies".
Now as we all know masculinity and masculine qualities are a prized possession throughout most of the world; the gay world/community being no exception.
Everyone (a terrible generalization I know - but it does hold true for the majority) wants that super masculine guy and I'm the skinny androgynous guy.
So naturally I've had some trouble attracting men.
Now I'm not complaining. It only makes since that gay men - men who are attracted to other men - and subsequently attracted to masculinity - would want to date men, who, well... look and act like men. This I understand.
But it does get lonely sometimes.
The only guys that ever take interest in me are self- proclaimed 'straight men' and they are only interested having a sexual relationship with me. Which is not what I'm looking for. I wanna date. And that requires getting together with a gay male. Haha.
So...When the masculine guys want the masculine guys and the feminine guys want the masculine guys where does that leave someone like me?
Well it feels like the situation leaves me with a decision to make.
Butch up or stay forever in 'No-mans-land'. Pun intended.
So my question is: What should I do?
I'm seriously considering trying to change most things about myself in order to adopt a more...manly role. Problem is I feel like that would be lying to myself and whoever I get involved with.
Change or wait for someone who likes the real me - although it might be quite a long wait?
(Excuse my grammar. I was writing as I would speak and in a hurry. The splices are ridiculous.)
). He's still the sweet guy I met, but he's mellowed and matured. 
