Decoding Gay Labels

  • red_series

    Posts: 136

    Aug 19, 2010 5:19 PM GMT
    I know no one LIKES labels, nonetheless they exist and I have questions:

    First off, what's the difference between a daddy and a bear? And secondly, does a bear have to be fat? Everyone I've seen that identifies as a bear is in HORRIBLE shape. Anyway, what'd you guys think?
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 19, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    they are as arbitrary as the wind
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    Aug 19, 2010 5:44 PM GMT
    In the leather/fetish/kink community, I am considered a "daddy muscle bear."
    It used to bother me 'till I got used to it. Now I take it as a compliment.
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    Aug 19, 2010 8:59 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidIn the leather/fetish/kink community, I am considered a "daddy muscle bear."
    It used to bother me 'till I got used to it. Now I take it as a compliment.


    Uhm, Paul, sorry to break it to you but youre not.
    Youre too YOUNG to be a daddy.
    And to be a Bear, you gotta put on at least 20 lbs (of muslce, of course!) and grow back your chest hair. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 19, 2010 9:02 PM GMT
    ...and isn't a cub supposed to be the "bottom" of the bear world?
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    Aug 19, 2010 9:04 PM GMT
    Your Daddy is married to your mother. Or was at one point. Unless you're a bastard. Which is, like, totally cool.

    Bears shit in the woods.

    In America.

    Apparently.
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    Aug 19, 2010 9:05 PM GMT
    GigoloAssassin said
    paulflexes saidIn the leather/fetish/kink community, I am considered a "daddy muscle bear."
    It used to bother me 'till I got used to it. Now I take it as a compliment.


    Uhm, Paul, sorry to break it to but youre not.
    Youre too YOUNG to be a daddy.
    And to be a Bear, you gotta put on at least 20 lbs (of muslce, of course!) and grow back your chest hair.
    I'm just going by what I've been called in the scene.
    Oh and a couple days ago some dude in the gym told me I look 20 pounds of muscle heavier than I stated.
    I think he may have been subtly hitting on me, but he wasn't my type so I didn't pursue it to find out. I just said thanks. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 19, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    O lord...
  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Aug 19, 2010 9:09 PM GMT
    mocktwinkie said...and isn't a cub supposed to be the "bottom" of the bear world?


    Cub would be bear in training.

    Bear's can either be fat-ass bears or beefy guys that look like a burly man...kinda like your lumberjacking picture there Red icon_twisted.gif

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    Aug 19, 2010 9:20 PM GMT
    My straight buddy and I were hanging out talking about how we were both glad not to be in the dating pool, he's married and I'm partnered, when he made an interesting observation. He noted how it must be complicated to be single in the gay world with all the different fetish/identifications, and then said "isn't it hard enough to find someone to love without all the extra requirements?" I had to agree. I haven't been in the dating scene for nearly a decade, but I did wonder if all the emphasis on "types" is helpful or hurtful in the search for love.
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    Aug 19, 2010 9:21 PM GMT
    red_series saidI know no one LIKES labels, nonetheless they exist and I have questions:

    First off, what's the difference between a daddy and a bear? And secondly, does a bear have to be fat? Everyone I've seen that identifies as a bear is in HORRIBLE shape. Anyway, what'd you guys think?


    ugh, i LOATHE those terms, but here it goes...

    a DADDY, typically is an older gentleman, a TOP and usually aggressive yet passionate

    a BEAR is a hairy guy, most of the time they person is on the bigger side (if he is more muscular then he is a Muscle Bear). There are other terms for guys who are different sizes, amount of hair, heights, ugh... its just to much.

    (Otter [smaller framed hairy guy], Cub [usually smooth and small frame], Bear Cub [smaller framed hairy guy], Chub [fat], Super Chub [REALLY overweight], Leather Bear [a Bear into the leather scene], etc)

    There are numerous terms to refer to almost anytime of gay man.
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    Aug 19, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    gaybels.... hahahaha
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    Aug 19, 2010 11:29 PM GMT
    I HATE labels!!icon_evil.gif
  • DCEric

    Posts: 3713

    Aug 19, 2010 11:48 PM GMT
    cajunathlete16 saidI HATE labels!!icon_evil.gif


    Really? I love labels. They tell me how much fat, protein, cholesterol, etc. is in my food.

    /yum.
  • ImUrSuprman05

    Posts: 79

    Aug 20, 2010 12:00 AM GMT
    <--- Otter
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    Daddy = masculine, mature

    Bear = hairy, mature

    Twink = young, skinny, immature, smooth

    Cub = hairy, young



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    Aug 20, 2010 12:27 AM GMT
    Someone covered this above in some detail, but here is my expanded take on it:

    BEAR (generally, a heavier, hairy guy, almost always with a beard, and usually a mustache too - as like the animal itself)

    --- Big Bear: typical 20+ overweight, especially belly fat.

    --- Muscle Bear: may or may not have a gut, but in any case, the chest will be bigger around than the gut.

    --- Wolf: 6-foot or taller thinner hairy guy

    --- Otter: a thinner hairy guy under 6-feet tall.

    --- Cub: a younger "bear in training". Likely to be of heavier frame or girth than other lads his age, but not required. Still likely to be hairy.

    --- Leather Bears / Denim Bears: Bears who .... wait for it... like leather gear or denim. Usually have a significant overlap into the BDSM community.

    --- ? Not sure if there is a special word to label smooth guys who like bears (muscle bears/otters being one of my engine-starting types, heheh)

    DADDY/DAD - usually also a older bear or their thinner cousins, but not exclusively so. Usually will be Doms (both in the sense of taking leadership in the relationship, as well as the BDSM sense, if it applies) and will Top.

    Typically, Daddies are on the lookout for, or are coupled with a cub or a "son". Being called a "Daddy" may carry, but does not necessarily always so, a connotation of financial support for the younger partner, though this falls more accurately under the "sugar daddy/boy toy" labels.

    (I've been called a "daddy" despite my relatively younger age and utter hairlessness. Go figure.)

    SON - the younger partner to a Daddy. Typically submissive, and bottoms. May be twinks, cubs, or anything in between.

    CHUB - Mileage here may vary.... really fit people will tend to say a chub is anyone more than 15 pounds overweight; however, Chubs and Chubby Chasers (thin guys who fetishise fat people) may scoff at the notion of a chub who is less than 40 pounds over weight. Hairiness will tend to trump the chub label, making the hairy chub into a "big bear".

    SUPER CHUB - unmistakably huge guy. Sumo big. Likely to be over 100lbs. overweight, BMI over 40.

    CHUBBY CHASER - thin or fit guy with a thing for ... chubs.

    CHUB FOR CHUB - Big guys who like other big guys.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    Wikipedia is a fantastic resource.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:57 AM GMT
    LABELS ARE FOR CLOTHES.
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:01 AM GMT
    RudeMech saidMy straight buddy and I were hanging out talking about how we were both glad not to be in the dating pool, he's married and I'm partnered, when he made an interesting observation. He noted how it must be complicated to be single in the gay world with all the different fetish/identifications, and then said "isn't it hard enough to find someone to love without all the extra requirements?" I had to agree. I haven't been in the dating scene for nearly a decade, but I did wonder if all the emphasis on "types" is helpful or hurtful in the search for love.


    Ditto.
    We rely too much on labels to define who we are and who we want to attract. Why cant we all just relax and be with whoever? Your buddy has a very good point.
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidWikipedia is a fantastic resource.


    true. probably could have linked there and saved 20 minutes of typing, lol
  • barriehomeboy

    Posts: 2475

    Aug 20, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    Labels are for soup tins, and for women. They can't sleep unless they have every man around them categorized. Even if it's wrong! Which really pisses me off, but that's a whole other rant. Each of the 6+ billion of us people on the planet of doom are individuals. We can't be labelled so that we can be identified by one of the 100 or so traits we have. That was Hitler's strategy. It didn't work out so well for the gays or the jews. Dude, you're you. Genetically, you're like nobody else on the planet.
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:22 AM GMT
    DCEric said
    cajunathlete16 saidI HATE labels!!icon_evil.gif


    Really? I love labels. They tell me how much fat, protein, cholesterol, etc. is in my food.

    /yum.

    Can i put something fat and proteinie into your diet? icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    OK, so at this point, everyone has had a little practice, so let's all take a look at the person above you, figuratively speaking, and ascribe some of our newly learned gay labels...
    icon_eek.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    BiGymGuy saidOK, so at this point, everyone has had a little practice, so let's all take a look at the person above you, figuratively speaking, and ascribe some of our newly learned gay labels...
    icon_eek.gif


    Ummm. Muscle Daddy? icon_biggrin.gif