MY MOM_____ DIED

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    I have not seen my mom for about 15 years or so,after my dad died she changed alot and she left with a guy.Never heard from her,no phone calls nothing and I just found out she passed away I don't know how they contacted me but its w/e.I have all these emotions in me god she died a long time ago for me so I don't know how to feel about this,a mother is not one who gives birth a mother is one who is there for you on your b-day,when u graduate school meetings.My friends think I should go to her grave in Georgia where she is burried but I just cant,I cant I hope she rots in hell.


    this was me every night waiting for her to come home,every fucking night so why should I care.


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    Aug 20, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    i feel like screaming sorry i need to let this out AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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    Aug 20, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    Let it go bello, she's gone and you're still living the pain which is only serving to hurt you, not her. forgive her, forgive yourself and give it up to your own peace. It'll heal a lot quicker sweetheart.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    you dont understand i cant,i cant forgive her,not even an animal leaves her babies,she protects them.My heart has no room for forgiveness.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    I know she left a long time ago but you havent let go. You need to go and make piece with her...for closure. You should either pray about it, go to her grave, talk to someone. But its not good to hold onto it. Regardless of anything, she is still your mom. Im sorry for your loss.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:37 AM GMT
    well, no wonder you're crazy. you were raised by a crazy person whom you can't forgive. makes total sense now. perhaps if you made some room in your heart for forgiveness you'd be able to embrace happiness, rather than melodrama? just a suggestion, from one racist to another.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    I'm sorry to hear that you had such a bad relationship with your biological mother, but you need to let it go. Holding onto negative emotions will poison you and make you a sad, bitter person. That said, it's okay to be angry about what happened for a bit, but consider how much more enjoyment you will get once you've taken control of your happiness.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    I think the "I hope she rots in hell" would have been far more effective in those big red letters you're so fond of. icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:38 AM GMT
    jprichva said
    BELLO said.My heart has no room for forgiveness.

    It does crave drama, though.



    look start with me anyday u want but right now dont push it...

    anyways this thread is just a moment thread it will be deleted..
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    this explains
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:39 AM GMT
    unfounded7 saidI think the "I hope she rots in hell" would have been far more effective in those big red letters you're so fond of. icon_wink.gif



    i rather prefer the green, but the pink can be nice sometimes.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    you guys say forgive forgive because you have not been in my shoes,,you know hard it is not to have a dad or a mom with you,and yes dancer your right thats y i am how i am..
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    I am sorry to hear this and for your loss; whenever you feel it may have occurred. You know we're all here to listen even if you just want to vent.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:44 AM GMT
    god, dc!! don't encourage him!
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    thanks but i cant vent i dont vent,i was basically raised on my own and im not gonna sit her and say life has been bad to me blah blah blah...i have never cried in my life.i cant be weak and im not gonna argue tonight..
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:50 AM GMT
    Impartial observer here.... but whether you like Bello or not... this is a pretty heavy event for him.

    I hope ya can get past it - I know, easier said than done... but like some others have said, once you have forgiven her, it will be a huge load off your chest.

    Peace.

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    Aug 20, 2010 3:52 AM GMT
    BELLO saidyou guys say forgive forgive because you have not been in my shoes,,you know hard it is not to have a dad or a mom with you,and yes dancer your right thats y i am how i am..
    Nope, I haven't been in your shoes. I've been in worse.
    My dad was there for me every day, yet I am happier with him gone. However, I do not wish anything hurtful on his soul. I hope he is happy for all the good things he did. The emotionally and physically hurtful things he did to me made me a stronger person for overcoming them, and for that I am grateful, not hateful.

    Your mother hurt you, and it's your choice whether you want to share the hate or release it.

    Even though I'm upset with the way you've treated a few people in here I admire (which is why I haven't said anything to you lately), I wish you comfort in your time of pain. Feel free to email me if you need any help.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:52 AM GMT
    BELLO saidyou guys say forgive forgive because you have not been in my shoes,,you know hard it is not to have a dad or a mom with you,and yes dancer your right thats y i am how i am..


    Well if you dont care about her and you dont care about our advice, then why are you telling us all this?
    Obviously you wanted the attention because you never got it from your parents.
    Thats why you need to go see her, let it all out to her grave so you can feel better about yourself once and for all.
  • Lozzano

    Posts: 526

    Aug 20, 2010 3:56 AM GMT
    You dont have to forgive anything. If you feel your momis death since she left you, the she is dead from long time ago. Concetrate yourself in all those nights you wished a mother with you.
    You dont have to forgive someone just because she is your mom or because she is death.
    I need to thank her cause you are a smart guy, she gave you birth, but the rest is yours. Feel proud of yourself, dont waste your time in useless hates.
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    Aug 20, 2010 3:56 AM GMT
    BELLO said.i have never cried in my life.i cant be weak
    That's right. Real men never cry. They just let their anger build up and have an early heart attack from the stress..
  • metta

    Posts: 39091

    Aug 20, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    I'm sorry for what you have been through Bello...


    just do what you feel is the healthy thing for you to do....

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    Aug 20, 2010 3:59 AM GMT
    All I want to know is...

    How does the elephant fit into all this?
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    Aug 20, 2010 4:00 AM GMT
    Seriously...? I don't understand why you guys are making jokes in here. Wether some of you get along with him or not, I don't think this is the best time to be making fun of him.
    Anyways, whatever you decide to do, goodluck! I had hated my dad for majority of my teenage years and it's a lot easier to forgive then hate.
  • turtleneckjoc...

    Posts: 4685

    Aug 20, 2010 4:02 AM GMT
    Bello, buddy......I want you to hear my story and my suggestion to you. I feel your pain, pal.

    I was abused as a child. My mother and father physically beat me, emotionally abused me and made me feel as if I was worthless. This took place back in the 60's and 70's when children of abused parents had no rights. They had to take it and at the time, it was technically "the child's fault" that their parents beat them.

    I was not allowed to have friends and as a result of this, I became very introverted and shy. People frightened me.

    Over the years, I came out and in the discovery process of myself, I grew distant from my mom and dad. As a note here, I had a younger sister. She was 7 years younger than me, but was spared the abuse I received. My sister died in 1977 at the age of 15 in a horseback riding accident. I drove her to the stables that day, the last one in the family to see her alive.

    I did not have contact with my mom and dad until the late 1990's when my dad called me out of the blue (he got my number from a relative) to tell me my mom was in the hospital dying. When my mom died, I went to the funeral and seemed to patch some things up with my dad. After her funeral, I did to to my mom's gravesite to say some choice words to her about how I was treated.

    Six months after my mom died, my dad remarried and the woman he married took him to the cleaners. Wife #2 is currently somewhere in the Cayman Islands spending what would have been my inheritance (my family had money). After seeing this woman with my dad, I never saw him again.

    My dad died from brain and lung cancer about 4 years ago. His funeral was attended by me and THREE other people. I asked those at the funeral home if I could have a moment alone with my dad. They moved off to the side and I lit into my father like I never have in my life (quietly of course, we were at a memorial park after all). I have never been back to visit the gravesites of my mom, dad and younger sister.

    The point I am making here is: Go to your mom's gravesite. Let it out. Tell her exactly what you think and don't look back. "Moving on" is easier said than done afterwards, but over time you will feel better knowing you got these feelings off your chest.

    It worked for me, pal. I know it can work for you. Think about what you want to say and do it. I still have some choice words for my parents now...and they are rotting in hell---where they belong.

    Jeff
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    Aug 20, 2010 4:07 AM GMT
    I'm sorry icon_sad.gif

    *hugs*