Bello, buddy......I want you to hear my story and my suggestion to you. I feel your pain, pal.
I was abused as a child. My mother and father physically beat me, emotionally abused me and made me feel as if I was worthless. This took place back in the 60's and 70's when children of abused parents had no rights. They had to take it and at the time, it was technically "the child's fault" that their parents beat them.
I was not allowed to have friends and as a result of this, I became very introverted and shy. People frightened me.
Over the years, I came out and in the discovery process of myself, I grew distant from my mom and dad. As a note here, I had a younger sister. She was 7 years younger than me, but was spared the abuse I received. My sister died in 1977 at the age of 15 in a horseback riding accident. I drove her to the stables that day, the last one in the family to see her alive.
I did not have contact with my mom and dad until the late 1990's when my dad called me out of the blue (he got my number from a relative) to tell me my mom was in the hospital dying. When my mom died, I went to the funeral and seemed to patch some things up with my dad. After her funeral, I did to to my mom's gravesite to say some choice words to her about how I was treated.
Six months after my mom died, my dad remarried and the woman he married took him to the cleaners. Wife #2 is currently somewhere in the Cayman Islands spending what would have been my inheritance (my family had money). After seeing this woman with my dad, I never saw him again.
My dad died from brain and lung cancer about 4 years ago. His funeral was attended by me and THREE other people. I asked those at the funeral home if I could have a moment alone with my dad. They moved off to the side and I lit into my father like I never have in my life (quietly of course, we were at a memorial park after all). I have never been back to visit the gravesites of my mom, dad and younger sister.
The point I am making here is: Go to your mom's gravesite. Let it out. Tell her exactly what you think and don't look back. "Moving on" is easier said than done afterwards, but over time you will feel better knowing you got these feelings off your chest.
It worked for me, pal. I know it can work for you. Think about what you want to say and do it. I still have some choice words for my parents now...and they are rotting in hell---where they belong.