So ... how do you tactfully say "I'm not interested"?

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    Aug 20, 2010 5:16 AM GMT
    Yes, in a perfect world, when someone says they want to go out, you say "Sorry, I'm just not interested." But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested.

    So I ask in all sincerity: How have you handled it/how do you handle it when someone you're not interested in asks you out?
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    Aug 20, 2010 5:26 AM GMT
    turtlesarecool saidYes, in a perfect world, when someone says they want to go out, you say "Sorry, I'm just not interested." But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested.

    So I ask in all sincerity: How have you handled it/how do you handle it when someone you're not interested in asks you out?


    IT IS SOOOOOOOOO EASY!!!! Just tell them you recently got out of the state prison because you murdered your Mother. You can even throw in some tears if you want to leave yourself looking stylishly sincere.icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 5:40 AM GMT
    There is no proper way to turn someone down. Some will get pissed, some won't...regardless of how you do it.
  • DarkSensation

    Posts: 715

    Aug 20, 2010 8:57 AM GMT


    Out of my Sight ( Slap) Bitch icon_lol.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 20, 2010 9:06 AM GMT
    Simple- tell him the truth you're not into him in that way, but thanks.icon_cool.gif
  • ZacktheMan

    Posts: 340

    Aug 20, 2010 11:02 AM GMT

    "BUG OFF"





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    Aug 20, 2010 11:03 AM GMT
    turtlesarecool saidYes, in a perfect world, when someone says they want to go out, you say "Sorry, I'm just not interested." But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested.

    So I ask in all sincerity: How have you handled it/how do you handle it when someone you're not interested in asks you out?


    I usually try by thanking them but not returning the compliment... and make myself less available if it's in person.

    If they keep insisting it gets raised to "No, but thanks"... and on from there.
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    Aug 20, 2010 11:14 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidA respectful, thoughtful yet assertive reply is the way to go. No need to lead someone on. If you are not direct they may think you are trying to play "cat and mouse" and then pursue you more aggressively.


    SO true. This is happening to me right now, as a matter of fact. Best to just tell the guy you aren't interested from the get go, so the message is clear. Some guys won't pick up on hints.
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    Aug 20, 2010 11:23 AM GMT
    Think about what you'd prefer to hear if it was you asking someone else out.

    Acting like you couldn't handle the truth or they can't be honest with you is almost insulting, at least it is to me.

    So "Thanks, you're a nice guy" or "you seem like a nice guy" and "but I'm not feeling it" or "but I guess I'm not feeling what you're feeling", or "I don't think a date is what want right now".

    It's all going to be a little uncomfortable to say, but it really is the only thing you can do.

    If they push, though, then it's just "no, thanks" "really, no" and you don't have to give any explanation.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 11:47 AM GMT
    "i'm not interested"
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:30 PM GMT
    On a blind date, I simply told the guy after about 20 minutes that I really didn't want to waste anyone's time , and I HOPED he felt the same, but I felt there was NO chemistry between the two of us. I paid for our drinks and left. He seemed shocked as if this had NEVER happened to him. I felt horrible, yet with a twist of pride.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:34 PM GMT
    "I wouldn't fuck you with his dick!" usually works....icon_cool.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:43 PM GMT
    Yell FIRE in a crowded room, and then befriend the guard so you can get early parole and live happily ever after as the 2nd wife..

    Lather, rinse, repeat! icon_smile.gif

    No thank you is polite and too the point. That's all that should have to be said.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:52 PM GMT
    Just "tactfully" ignore them when you are not interested. icon_wink.gif

    I find it easier then telling them something that could hurt their fragile self esteem. If they think you're a dick, who cares? This way their ego stays in tact. You weren't interested in them anyway.
    Look at it as if you are doing them a favour. LOL.
    Cheers,
    Keith
    icon_twisted.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:25 PM GMT
    this is about me, isn´t it, Turtles? one minute you are on and the next off... what´s a guy to do?

    icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:55 PM GMT
    StudlyScrewRite said"I wouldn't fuck you with his dick!" usually works....icon_cool.gif
    ...unless they say "he already has."
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:56 PM GMT
    Fuck off
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 20, 2010 2:02 PM GMT
    sahkurity, dis fool needs da go
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:03 PM GMT
    turtlesarecool saidYes, in a perfect world, when someone says they want to go out, you say "Sorry, I'm just not interested." But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested.

    So I ask in all sincerity: How have you handled it/how do you handle it when someone you're not interested in asks you out?


    You do what 99.9% of gay guys do:

    Simply tell him you'll call him. And don't ever. Stop returning calls, texts or email messages.

    Silence from you sends the message
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:04 PM GMT
    calibro saidsahkurity, dis fool needs da go
    Last time I had to do that, the dude tried to punch the bouncer (who happened to be a close personal friend) and I had him tackled to the ground before he ever finished his punch. Ahhhh fun times. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:05 PM GMT
    turtlesarecool, it's not what you say, but this, "But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested."

    There's the problem. No matter how many clever ways are suggested to say you're not interested, none will be easy to say/do if you don't resolve the issues in the above quote. icon_wink.gif

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    Aug 20, 2010 2:09 PM GMT
    meninlove said turtlesarecool, it's not what you say, but this, "But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested."

    There's the problem. No matter how many clever ways are suggested to say you're not interested, none will be easy to say/do if you don't resolve the issues in the above quote. icon_wink.gif

    The issue in the above post was a 6'6" super-duper-drunk dude who could hardly stand up, and was obnoxiously groping on everyone in the bar, even females, spilling his drink on everyone, shouting that he's going to fuck anyone he wants to fuck. He was a wee bit mistaken. icon_lol.gif
  • SoDakGuy

    Posts: 1862

    Aug 20, 2010 2:10 PM GMT
    That's easy ... I'm not interested.

    But I like being upfront and to the point.

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    Aug 20, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    paulflexes said
    meninlove said turtlesarecool, it's not what you say, but this, "But most of us stumble and bumble through the response, even if, in fact, we aren't interested."

    There's the problem. No matter how many clever ways are suggested to say you're not interested, none will be easy to say/do if you don't resolve the issues in the above quote. icon_wink.gif

    The issue in the above post was a 6'6" super-duper-drunk dude who could hardly stand up, and was obnoxiously groping on everyone in the bar, even females, spilling his drink on everyone, shouting that he's going to fuck anyone he wants to fuck. He was a wee bit mistaken. icon_lol.gif



    Go on, really? I can't find that anywhere in the OP's post. Or are you referring to yours?

    confused -Doug
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:16 PM GMT
    meninlove said Go on, really? I can't find that anywhere in the OP's post. Or are you referring to yours?

    confused -Doug
    I was referring to mine.