Some of these are punny.

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    Aug 20, 2010 6:47 AM GMT
    1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

    3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

    4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

    5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

    6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

    7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

    8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

    9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

    10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

    11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

    12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head'

    13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

    15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

    16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    17. A backward poet writes inverse.

    18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

    19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

    20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine .

    21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.'

    22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'

    23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

    24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.'

    25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.

    26. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
  • cromi

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    Aug 20, 2010 10:50 AM GMT
    nice. now i have my one month supply of status updates on my FB account. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 10:57 AM GMT
    You two know each other then?

    bears-Fozzie-bear.jpg
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    Aug 20, 2010 10:59 AM GMT
    Very nice list you got there..

    paulflexes said22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall One turns to the other and says 'Dam!'



    I LOLED with this one. Mostly because I really enjoy the bad joke: A man walks into a bar......OUCH!

    TY for this.
  • tim_id

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    Aug 20, 2010 11:19 AM GMT
    haha. Great morning laughs!!
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    Aug 20, 2010 11:39 AM GMT
    Don't you wish there were a Biblical pun section in the Bible?! icon_wink.gif
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    Aug 20, 2010 11:45 AM GMT
    I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    This is my facebook status for the day. I loves it.
  • ShanksE

    Posts: 263

    Aug 20, 2010 11:57 AM GMT
    I heard his somewhere,

    A person stuck in a revolving door at the airport is going to Bangkok
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:39 PM GMT
    cromi saidnice. now i have my one month supply of status updates on my FB account. icon_smile.gif


    EXACTLY!
  • creature

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    Aug 20, 2010 12:44 PM GMT
    My co-worker will love these. She sends us a joke everyday in an e-mail along with the notice to fill in our time-sheets.
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    Aug 20, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    BiGymGuy saidDon't you wish there were a Biblical pun section in the Bible?! icon_wink.gif


    There IS a car reference...


    Do you know what type of car they drove?
    A Honda.

    Book of Joshua 9:2
    "That they gathered themselves together, to fight with Joshua and with Israel, in one Accord."icon_wink.gif
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Aug 20, 2010 1:00 PM GMT
    A toilet was stolen from the police station. They have released a statement, saying they are investigating the crime, but currently have nothing to go on.
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    Aug 20, 2010 1:51 PM GMT
    Timberoo saidA toilet was stolen from the police station. They have released a statement, saying they are investigating the crime, but currently have nothing to go on.
    I bet it was the same person who knocked off the guitar shop. The police are still looking for anyone who has any leads.
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:24 PM GMT
    This is your good deed of the day, Paulflexes!
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:25 PM GMT
    cromi saidnice. now i have my one month supply of status updates on my FB account. icon_smile.gif


    HA I was thinking the same exact thing... I actually put one of them on there before I was done reading it haha.. That's funny.. They were good though, thanks for the smile!
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    Aug 20, 2010 2:52 PM GMT
    i didn't expect to laugh as much as i did. some of these are very clever plays on words. it takes a certain amount of skill to do that, and i like it. thanks for sharing. i'll definitely be tweeting a few of these.
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Aug 20, 2010 2:57 PM GMT
    Balljunkie saidI wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

    This is my facebook status for the day. I loves it.


    Ha ha, Right.!
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    Aug 20, 2010 5:25 PM GMT
    Did you know the Bible also records the first woman nagging?

    Mary. She rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem.
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    Aug 20, 2010 8:31 PM GMT
    hahahah nice icon_razz.gif