Ever get dumped in such a respectful and honest way that you liked the guy even more?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 21, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    Why can't the guy be an asshole and just disappear. Why does he have to be a complete and considerate gentleman about it icon_evil.gif
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    Aug 21, 2010 9:16 PM GMT
    I fear of ending up in that position, it would happen a lot. Oh well can't tell the future ;3
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    Aug 21, 2010 10:45 PM GMT
    I dumped two of my three ex's that way. They wanted to hang out even more after we broke up...which for a while, happened. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 21, 2010 10:53 PM GMT
    Yep, by my first boyfriend. After the first heartbreak was over, we stayed friends for many years after that.
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    Aug 21, 2010 11:00 PM GMT
    Well, not that I liked him MORE. Anyone who would drop me clearly has serious flaws... icon_wink.gif

    But what has happened is that we remained friends. Not with every guy, but quite a few times, part of that having to do with whether one of us had moved away.

    Although my latest ex, the one just before I met my current partner, lives nearly 2000 miles away and we have friendly chats on the phone fairly often, and sometimes exchange e-mail. And he's been here twice and met my partner, and I have some great pics of the 2 of them together.
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    Aug 21, 2010 11:13 PM GMT
    It's more admirable when someone can be effectively communicative and honest than (most gay guys who are at) halting all communication while leaving the other guy in limbo as to where matters stand.

    Some guys I dated in the past I have remained friends with because they blatantly stated they couldn't see things going further but wanted to remain friends. And remaining friends we have.

    But there have been those who just stopped calling, e-mailing, etc., and act like stupid dunces -- as if they didn't know me -- when they see me in public because they weren't man enough to convey the truth across. Those guys, to me, exemplify what the majority of gay guys are in the community!
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    Aug 21, 2010 11:42 PM GMT
    Someone recently tried to dump me after waiting 2 whole months or more after his feelings had changed for me. I attributed his drawing away from me because he had just started a high end job that requires working crazy amounts of hours 7 days a week. Keeping each other posted of emotional needs is one of the important things to me in any long-term relationship I've had, of which there has been only three. The first one lasted for 18 years.

    I ended our relationship in less than a stellar way, so I've yet to know if we'll be able to remain as friends. Only time will tell.
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    Aug 21, 2010 11:55 PM GMT
    cadudesf saidIt's more admirable when someone can be effectively communicative and honest than (most gay guys who are at) halting all communication while leaving the other guy in limbo as to where matters stand.


    Oh it is, and it's a goddamn catch 22. "Oh you're one of those admirable men who have the character and openness to communicate, especially in difficult situations where honesty, though required, can be painful. And I find this out in how you break up with me. Yay."
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    Aug 22, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    I did that to a guy a few months ago, in fact I got so carried away with my niceness I even said "I care about you I wanna be a good friend" which of course I didn't mean, he figured that out a couple months after no contact from me so he removed me from his facebook icon_smile.gif
  • metta

    Posts: 39099

    Aug 22, 2010 3:02 AM GMT
    ^
    how is that respectful or honest?
  • oursirpeace

    Posts: 199

    Aug 22, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    ^ It was very respectful on my part, I went to the guy's place to break up with him in person, not thru texts or phone.
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    Aug 22, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    ^ Playa... LOL
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    Aug 22, 2010 3:28 AM GMT
    Nope... hurt feelings suck
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Aug 22, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    No. Not to say I'm not friends with those guys today. Once I've had time to flush the fuzzy feelings out of my system, I'm usually okay. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 22, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    Nope. Mostly bad/dramatic... and a couple that were not so drama-laden, but weren't exactly "let's be friends" afterward.
  • tituspullo197...

    Posts: 203

    Aug 22, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    on the occasions when i've broken up, i've mostly been direct and honest about it, and if the guy was worthwhile, we've remained friends. (the exception: the horrible, dysfunctional five year relationship i was in... that's a story unto itself just for the break-up, when i finally found my balls, which had been m.i.a. for years.)

    i can't think of anybody who broke up with me and did it well.

    the best break up was a mutual thing... we had been growing resentful of one another, but we were able to discuss it so openly that we've remained dear, dear friends even fourteen years later. he's still somebody i go to when i need advice or a shoulder to lean on. can't really beat that.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Aug 22, 2010 4:06 AM GMT
    The_Grayne saidLike obsession... Hell yes. When they came back crawling though I said HELL NO catching HIV was fucking bad enough... Fucking GREEK sluts.

    Fuck_Off.jpg&t=1
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    Aug 22, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    Yes. It FUCKING SUCKS
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    Aug 22, 2010 5:00 AM GMT
    oursirpeace said^ It was very respectful on my part, I went to the guy's place to break up with him in person, not thru texts or phone.

    Maybe I'm anachronistic, but is breaking up on the phone or via text so much the new normal that doing it in person is considered respectful? I also just read on another recent thread that the OP texted a date not to text him anymore because that date was too quiet. (I commented that it could've been worse, he could've broken up by post-it, but the OP was so flamed he deleted the thread.)
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    Aug 22, 2010 5:20 AM GMT
    No, he can go and fuck Steve!