TRUST...Why Do Others Make It So Hard To Gain?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 10:00 AM GMT
    Trust (sociology), the willing acceptance of one's power to affect another; Assured resting of the mind on the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship, or other sound principle, of another person; confidence; reliance.

    What do you think? Would you want to be friends with, or, be with someone who totally lacks this? With me, where there is no TRUST, there is no love, therefore...you guessed it, I can't put up with you. I can simply open the door to these words, "Have a nice life. It's been nice knowing you!"icon_razz.gif

    This is ONE major thing that people tend to overlook. Losing/playing around with/waving around this particular type of communication with ANYONE is like a happy-go lucky kid who's wielding their parent's loaded gun.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 10:36 AM GMT
    You mean be in a relationship with a paranoid, nagging, possessive guy?

    No thanks. icon_wink.gif I may just be naive, but I tend to trust in the other person's integrity unless proven otherwise. Means, if you say you are, I will believe you with or without proof. That is, if it's not proven untrue.

    If someone starts doubting and demanding proof of stuff on the first meeting that's a bad sign.

    Is that being foolish? :S I mean, it's like this, I believe everyone's innately good even before I know enough about him.

    If a person does the opposite (i.e. Thinks your an axe murderer in the absence of proof otherwise), I doubt we'd click at all. LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 1:56 PM GMT
    I can't really tell you why others make it so hard to gain, but I have some personal issues with that matter. I have to trust you before I can do anything with you. I used to believe that people were innately good, but I was proven wrong.. time after time.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 4:49 PM GMT

    IT IS HARD TO GAIN.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 7:06 PM GMT
    It is hard to gain.

    x
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 7:10 PM GMT
    It's very hard to gain... and some people are so conditioned to never trust anyone implicitly (like myself) that it makes it difficult to even get to know them.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 7:39 PM GMT
    I tend to trust implicitly (or at least within reason), until somebody gives me a reason not to trust them. Intentions speak more loudly than actions, to me, and I'm willing to give a guy the benefit of the doubt to an extent. Maybe that makes me a trusting fool, but I trust my intelligence to keep me out of real trouble, and it generally seems to work.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 7:44 PM GMT
    zDrew... you can ALWAYS trust me! icon_twisted.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Feb 21, 2008 7:49 PM GMT
    I'm a bit like Zdrew, but if you betray my trust you can expect to be held at arm's length until (or if) you redeem yourself. If someone can convince me why I should consider their intentions over their actions, then they might have a chance. But, I think I've been through enough to I hold a person's actions over everything. I've had people in my life who've said "Sorry" one too many times. I just can't invest in those kind of people have a certain point. I hate to lose someone close to me that way, but I feel my own self worth is more valuable.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 8:05 PM GMT
    StripperRocco saidzDrew... you can ALWAYS trust me! icon_twisted.gif


    I do...implicitly. icon_cool.gif I should amend my previous statement. I don't blindly put trust in just anyone, but my trust will stretch a long way with people I understand.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 8:18 PM GMT
    I (personally) think that it's critical to any relationship whether friend or partner.
    I give someone I meet for the first time a rating of 0 (zero=neutral).
    With time, the number can and will go up and down. Trust is developed and earned slowly. If trust is demonstrated rather than just 'pronounced' then the number goes up. If it is not, the number goes down and potentially to the negative depending on where they stood to begin with.
    The level of an infraction has to do with longevity of the relationship, level of trust that currently exists, etc.
    No one is perfect and absolutely trustworthy, but the range of trust worthiness is extremely wide.
    If I've been with someone for 10 years and they cheated once, that would be a major infraction to my trust, but not necessarily enough to destroy the relationship. Others, may think that it is, but that's an individual choice to discard the whole relationship based on a single incident.
    It is foolish to totally trust someone out of hand. It is also foolish to distrust everyone.

  • Feb 21, 2008 8:57 PM GMT
    I like to think everyone is basicly good, but in the back of my mind I just assume people I just see around are "Bastard coated bastards with bastard filling."-Scrubs

    Once I get to know someone and feel they are good they I'll trust them until they prove otherwise.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 21, 2008 10:55 PM GMT
    It is hard to gayn..




    ...



    no?





    sorry
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 22, 2008 12:49 AM GMT
    as hard as it is to gain trust in someone, it's harder to re-gain...


    I think people just push too quickly for trust. It's a good reason for not rushing into a relationship....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 22, 2008 1:06 AM GMT
    With the Internet acting as an anonymous and long-distance medium, trust remains one of the more rare and important aspects of a relationship between two persons. With that said, it is obvious to draw the conclusion that it would indeed be very hard to gain the trust of someone (and vice-versa) because really the testing of one's trust lies with how the person acts over time. You can't just know a person for ten minutes and suddenly you trust him/her with your life and everything. Add onto that baseline of difficulty any bad personal experiences with trust, and you have a very steep hill to climb over.

    What makes trust equally paradoxical is how easy it is to lose it and the ensuing greater difficulty of regaining what was lost. It would be very difficult for me to be friends with someone who I have little trust in. I would constantly be worried over something -- because I wouldn't trust the person. The whole concept of having friends is so that you have people who you feel comfortable confiding with, talking to, and being with. Trust is an absolute ingredient in all this.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Feb 23, 2008 8:29 PM GMT
    I am the same way that you are, Rocco. I used to be VERY trusting of people who I thought that were my friends. Hence, back in school, people who gained my friendship, along with my trust, only to get what they wanted out of me (for those smart to know) would lose my trust the moment that I catch onto them using me. the moment I got fed up with their using me, the trust went out of the window & you guessed it, the name-calling beganicon_redface.gif. So in all due saying, I have had bad experiences when it comes to trusting people, so yes, those who claim to tell me that they're okay with my being gay, or even most gay men, have a VERY STEEP HILL to climb over. The people that I kick it with at the gym, they earned my trust & vice-versa. They know that I keep a good reputation that I put on the line for them and as much as they claim to love to have me as a friend, I reassure them that they would hate to have me as an enemy. The moment that they misuse, abuse or play around with my trust, there is one saying that comes to term, "The ending of one's friendship marks the beginning of a new enemy." You have people that get irritated with those who have a hard time trusting others. "You need to start trusting people, this guard you have up is really starting to get annoying." With that being said, do the ones who say that realise that trust needs to be EARNED?