How do you deal with anger?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 2:26 AM GMT
    I guess this question can be posed in different ways. Take it how you will and answer.

    Sorry if this question has been asked before. I just want to know how other deal with anger. I have seen family and friends get angry and I just find that my own methods of dealing with anger a bit different from others.

    I find that depending what I'm angry about, I do generally one of three things:

    1. If I'm angry about myself or disappointed in myself, I tend to stay away from people and keep to myself as I pull apart piece by piece my anger and look at it from different perspectives until it no longer bothers me. Sometimes i can get over it in about 1 hour, others it can take up to weeks.

    2. Something I cannot control- I vent about it by writing about it. Not really to anyone, but to get my thoughts on paper. Usually I can let it go, and when I do, I revisit it and become my own critic on why I felt the way I do. I try to find a way that will help me feel less helpless. I feel like i run away at times by doing this, by trying to cope with things that bother me, but I realize you can't let everything bother you all the time. You would never get any peace.

    3. If I'm angry at someone- I make sure it's the right time to bring it up then confront them about it. There are time where friends had appreciated my input, whereas others have felt attacked. I'm not very good at ignoring a problem. If I feel like there is someone I cannot be honest with, I don't really feel like I'm good enough friends with them. My friend was cheating on his girl, so I gave him a piece of my mind in private at the gym, since all the other guys were all like "oh man, that's crazy!"- like they were encouraging it. He didn't take it nicely and tried to justify his actions by saying other guys do it and tried to name people we knew. The truth is- i don't care about others, they aren't my friends. When my friend does something wrong, I feel like I need to make it perfectly clear that I'm either disappointed with him or angry at him.

    From this- I can strangely see that I like to do a lot of soul searching in my head and analyze things repeatedly. I'm just lucky it doesn't happen all that often icon_smile.gif

    What about you- how do you deal?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 5:17 AM GMT
    I always express it, not violently, but in a respectful manner.. or in a song, or in sports
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 5:23 AM GMT
    RedPotion_Large.png
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 5:38 AM GMT
    HULK SMASH....

    j/k.

    I generally try to reason it out with whomever I'm angry with... failing that, I start to distance myself from them.

    Complete strangers I might give the Glare of Deathâ„¢ to, if they do something especially moronic that gets under my skin.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:00 AM GMT
    Beat the shit out of 'em.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:08 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidIt is great to allow anger to process and not bottle it up. I realized how my anger was bottled up and needed to allow myself to release it.

    If a person makes me angry I let them know. It usually becomes nothing more than a heated discussion and is not violent.

    I realized that my family tried to suppress my anger by forcing me to behave and not act inappropriately throughout my life. God, I paid such a high price for that but I am all the wiser now and have separated out from that form of control.

    Anger should be allowed to be processed so long as it does not harm anyone or sentient being.


    I used to just bottle it up like that for kind of the same reasons as you. My parents didn't want to have any part of having to actually deal with my problems so they had me just pretend nothing was wrong even if it was. That naturally translated into not releasing anger appropriately and instead holding it in.

    I've gotten a lot better about addressing that anger though. Participating in martial arts really helps. For me, anyway.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:27 AM GMT
    Unlike a popular myth, feeling and expressing anger isn't "bad". Me? If it's something that someone's done to me that I didn't like, I do need to check in with myself to make sure that what I experienced and my reaction to it is legitimately accurate. Depending on the situation, it can take a few seconds to days to validate my feelings to myself. I have found that expressing anger in a respectful, non-judgmental way, and without snowballing every tiny infraction into it, can lead to positive change in attitude for both parties concerned.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:38 AM GMT
    cool down and usually jack off
  • safety43_mma1...

    Posts: 4251

    Aug 24, 2010 7:51 AM GMT
    if pissed at a situation i walk away/ if pissed at a person i try to do the same if they wont let me i ask them nicely to let me cool off then if they dont listen then it is your fault for what might happen. but for the most part i just walk away and take time to myself to cool off.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:55 AM GMT
    fec96080-68a4-495f-8ddd-dfee8ec32d3c.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:55 AM GMT
    I just do my best to bite my tongue
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
    passive-aggressive-dog-training.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 7:56 AM GMT
    Dhaniboi saidI just do my best to bite my tongue


    I do that during Christmas. I think of "Silent Night".
  • mynyun

    Posts: 1346

    Aug 24, 2010 8:19 AM GMT
    Dhaniboi saidI just do my best to bite my tongue






    Yeah....... nope. Not me. If I did this I would have asphyxiated on my blood years ago. I say what is on my mind. And especially if I'm angry. But my tone tells ALL. If I'm angry, you can tell.

    So how do I deal with anger.??? Well directed at me I just kind of ignore it. I shield myself from it. How do I deal with it if it's MY anger.? Well I just pray I can get away w/out killing more people. I'm running out of space in my garden.

    dilmun_burial.jpg
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 8:20 AM GMT
    A very bright (and coincidentally gay) man wrote this book...
    I try and do it... and when I do, I feel great

    image002.jpg

    http://www.brainmechanicbook.com/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 24, 2010 6:50 PM GMT
    GAMRican said
    Dhaniboi saidI just do my best to bite my tongue


    I do that during Christmas. I think of "Silent Night".


    Good one. Sad part about holding my tongue is I eventually blow a gasket.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 25, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    Wow- it's great hearing multiple answers. I used to hold it all in. I actually had white hair at the back of my head when i was in my teens due to holding in all that anger. I think the anger had me stressed.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 25, 2010 2:14 AM GMT
    I took my anger towards my dog AND BEAT THE SHIT OUTTA HIM! Hahha I'm just kidding! But when I was or got mad I used to cut myself on my left arm or sometimes I would scratch my skin off on my face, arms and legs. But that was when I was like 10-13, and I got help from my family. Now when I get mad I think about it a lot and go to sleep and when I wake up I forget about it like it never existed... I was in a bad situation those years because one time I got so mad I pushed and almost hurt my mother.. TWICE. But that's all gone ;3
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 25, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    I usually take a step away from the situation to give myself time to process my feelings, then I'll go and address the person or situation with a clear head. When I was younger, I used to bottle and explode, and that was no good.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 26, 2010 12:36 AM GMT
    when i'm angry just stay out of my way, It like "Run GODZILLA!" icon_twisted.gif. its like it takes control and keeps going till spent.
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Aug 26, 2010 10:31 PM GMT
    Honestly?

    When I get angry I hold it in. Yes, I know, that isn't the healthiest thing to do but that's the way I handle things - I don't.

    Most often I'll pretend that I'm fine - I won't express my anger to others (if I'm around other people). I rarely vent my frustrations which means that when I finally do let anger out it's a culmination of a lot of pent up emotion and it's explosive.
    I would ( past tense) most often cut or do some other form of self-harming but I haven't done that in a while. Now I go on a rampage - crying and destroying things in my path. Never hurt anyone but I've lost some pretty nice items. (This only happens about once a year - that's the upside).