The One

  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 22, 2008 12:52 AM GMT
    A) Do you believe there is someone out there you are destined (predestined?) to be with?

    B) Do you find belief in "the one" to be endearing, or naive?
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    Feb 22, 2008 1:47 PM GMT
    I honestly don't know. Not destiny perhaps, but there's more than a good chance you'll find someone LOL

    But I certainly don't believe in B. Romantic all the way! Hehe
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    Feb 22, 2008 1:47 PM GMT
    I am lucky to be with mine.
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    Feb 22, 2008 2:55 PM GMT
    I definatly don't beleive that it's predisposed at all, there's 6 billion people in the world and usually you date a couple people before you get married...If you're compatible with a couple people around your area then statistically you'd probably be compatible with about 100,000 other people across the world.

    I think the right one comes when you are ready for it and they are ready at the same time, but I definately beleive there's one person in this world for everyone...I hope I found mine in highschool icon_smile.gif


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    Feb 22, 2008 2:59 PM GMT
    I'd certainly like to believe there is The One out there.

    BUT instead of LOOKING for the perfect soul mate for me... I am going work hard on BECOMING the perfect soul mate for someone else.
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    Feb 22, 2008 3:06 PM GMT
    I'm with you, Rocco.

    I don't believe "The One" is out there nor is it a matter of destiny.

    Instead I believe "The One" is something we become for another person and I too will strive to become the perfect soulmate for someone.
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    Feb 22, 2008 4:12 PM GMT
    I believe that we as people come in and out of lives for a specific purpose, reason and time. And if we're lucky enough to find one person that is able to grow alongside with us, allows you to grow as an individual and continue to thrive, teach and be there for one another, then we are lucky souls!!

    So to those that are fortunate to have that, CONGRATS! To those of us who have yet to find "the one" keep in mind those other ones are teaching us to be better with ourselves and to ourselves as well as for the next individual.

    Note: you MUST love & like yourself first and foremost, if not the other person cannot do it for you!
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    Feb 22, 2008 4:23 PM GMT
    I believe it's possible to find someone to connect perfectly with and consider "the one", but I don't think there's exactly only one specific person out there that completes a person. The way I see it, it's a matter of everything aligning correctly...right place, right time, right frame of mind, etc., etc., etc. Every significant relationship I've had in my life has been "the one" in one way or another, in that that relationship fit perfectly at that time and place, and as such served to help get me to where I am now.

    Wow. That was a little esoteric even for me. I think I might have confused myself. Did that make sense at all?? icon_question.gif
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    Feb 22, 2008 6:44 PM GMT
    Zdrew78 - you make perfect sense in what you are saying. I agree - every one of my significant relationships has helped me grow in ways that I might not have grown had those relationships not happened. I also agree with Rocco - I think I am working hard on myself - to make me a near-perfect soul mate for someone really good coming into my life.
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    Feb 22, 2008 6:46 PM GMT
    zDrew+Me= not quite the one LOL
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    Feb 22, 2008 6:50 PM GMT
    StripperRocco saidI'd certainly like to believe there is The One out there.

    BUT instead of LOOKING for the perfect soul mate for me... I am going work hard on BECOMING the perfect soul mate for someone else.



    Very wise words!! This is really where it all starts guys... Be the best you that you can be and your man will find you (provided your not hiding under a rock... or spending all your time on line... you need to get out and be part of life for him to find you!) icon_wink.gif

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    Feb 22, 2008 7:15 PM GMT
    StripperRocco saidzDrew+Me= not quite the one LOL


    Haha...but oh so close, save for a few thousands miles!!!
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    Feb 22, 2008 7:22 PM GMT
    zdrew78 said[quote][cite]StripperRocco said[/cite]zDrew+Me= not quite the one LOL


    Haha...but oh so close, save for a few thousands miles!!![/quote]

    "You're so FAAAARRRR away... doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?"
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    Feb 22, 2008 7:36 PM GMT
    I am with whom I consider my life partner. Is he the only guy that I could have had a long-term relationship with? Probably not, but if something should happen to him tomorrow (god forbid), I am not sure I would ever have another relationship. I am 47 and there are so many things that have to work to make a LTR last.
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    Feb 22, 2008 8:47 PM GMT
    I do not believe in "the one" (watch the movie .. it is a fantasy) I believe it is possible to get along with and date all kinds of people. I think it is natural to be concerned with compatible lifestyles with someone you want to pair up with because you will spend a lot of time with that person. The question in my mind would be, does he have an open and compassionate heart? can I get to know this person or will he make it a chore because he doesn't want to be himself or something?

    The belief is naive and sometimes annoying and a waste. The problem with The One is that it is someone you have made up in your imagination. You then try to fit people into this image and change yourself in the process. SO pretty soon you have two people trying to be something they are not. Its like two mannequins dancing together but all hollow inside. Pretty soon the masks have to come off and you have to get real .. that is when the break up comes.

    Instead of imagining what perfection (the perfect person is not real either) is, be yourself. In the process of being an actor in the play I describe above, you forget who you really are. If you don't know yourself, you can't know someone else and they can't know you. We can change behaviors and appearances but do you really know who you are beyond that? I think many people do not. Sometimes people come to dramatic realizations about themselves when they undergo difficult times. Like someone said earlier, all those guys you go through are lessons. It is not that they are not "the one" but rather they are a process of you learning about yourself and others (hopefully).

    "Date" or get to know people you are interested in or that stimulate you. By date I mean get to know them. Avoid the temptation to shut other people out of your life and become "instant boyfriends". Throw away all the images, idols and superstitions of relationships and get real. If you meet someone you really like, there is nothing magical about it even if he makes you feel all goo-goo ga-ga .. its chemicals and opportunity. Find opportunity, the chemicals (brain not drug chemicals) will come naturally. Like the song says .. "take it easy!"

    There is a saying .. "the Sage does not get sick, because he has become sick of being sick!"
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    Feb 22, 2008 8:51 PM GMT
    There is no "THE" one. At any given moment, there might be hundreds of men with whom you might be compatible and develop romantic feelings for.

    The whole idea of "the one" is a fantasy fueled by the Harlequin and Hallmark industries. Romance doesn't hit you over the head, it grows. If you're lucky.
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    Feb 22, 2008 9:21 PM GMT
    jprichva saidThere is no "THE" one. At any given moment, there might be hundreds of men with whom you might be compatible and develop romantic feelings for.

    The whole idea of "the one" is a fantasy fueled by the Harlequin and Hallmark industries. Romance doesn't hit you over the head, it grows. If you're lucky.


    I agree. I think the "woe is me, where IS he? will he EVER find me? I am waiting for LOVE" set would explode in a fire ball if they ever realized you are surrounded by the "one" almost everyday.
    I never had a hard time meeting guys I liked for romance and fun when I was single. They weren't all perfect, but i had fun and didn't turn all bitter and angry which seems like a popular reaction on here. Most of my best friends are people I have dated. I am not so fucking fragile that I have to protect myself in a cocoon made up of delusional lies that there is only ONE or two people who will ever understand or love me. Unfortunately, I am not that complicated.
    This is my experience: Love is more about yourself than the other person. Love is a teacher. You teach people how to treat you. We are all our own worst saboteurs when it comes to keeping a relationship healthy or finding the right person in the first place.
  • treader

    Posts: 238

    Feb 22, 2008 9:36 PM GMT
    Completely agree that there is no absolutely perfect match for anyone. Each of us has a pool of people that we're compatible with. For some, that pool of people is larger (for a variety of reasons) than compared to other people.

    You just have to get out there, try and cross your fingers. Maybe you'll meet a special guy. Maybe you won't. There aren't any guarantees in life. (Unfortunately) icon_neutral.gif
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    Feb 23, 2008 12:46 AM GMT
    mnjock2003 saidLove is a teacher. You teach people how to treat you.


    I don't think anyone has ever put this better.
  • iHavok

    Posts: 1477

    Feb 23, 2008 8:27 AM GMT
    and just for the record, i haven't believed in destiny in years, but find it really sweet and cute when someone does.
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    Feb 25, 2008 1:54 AM GMT
    lucky for me the first guy i was with was an still is the one wer crazy for one another

    how do i know? hees the only guy i would ever kiss
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Feb 25, 2008 2:15 AM GMT
    The One

    ...You know, I saw The Matrix...and thought it was pretty good...but then the second and third movies disappointed me a bit...

    ...oh...wait...we're not talking about that are we?...

    - David
  • Timbales

    Posts: 13993

    Feb 25, 2008 2:20 AM GMT
    I don't believe in The One. I think it's a romantic fable that people use as a shield to keep themselves from being happy.
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    Feb 25, 2008 2:23 AM GMT
    Perfect match..... get realicon_cry.gif. A soulmate... I keep the faith.icon_wink.gif
    " When stars collide like you and I, no shadow blocks the sun. You're all I've ever needed. Ooh, baby you're the one" - Sir Elton John
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    Feb 25, 2008 2:25 AM GMT
    Timberoo saidI don't believe in The One. I think it's a romantic fable that people use as a shield to keep themselves from being happy.

    Never sell yourself short, Tim