Married and finding out that your curious about the same sex.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 22, 2008 9:12 AM GMT
    I'm married to a wonderful woman and finding out now that I'm getting very curious about the same sex. What's that mean? Am I bi? But I heard bi does not exist, so does that make me gay?

    Very confuse at the moment. Should I even act upon it or just let it go. I'll just fantasize - nothing wrong with that, right? Fantasizing is not cheating on her.......
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 22, 2008 11:25 AM GMT
    Don't be...
    we are attracted to PEOPLE
    yes most of us have a preference and to some of us that preference is stronger for one sex than another
    some people it is closer to 50:50 but that is rare

    the other thing is that you maybe or have been sublimating your attraction to men
    pushing it aside consciously or subconsciously
    if you're truly happy with your marriage be careful what you uncover
    if not .... then you owe it to yourself to figure this out
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    Feb 23, 2008 9:10 PM GMT
    perhaps your just curious?

    Why do you have to label it to understand it..

    Who you want to have a relationship says where you lay (so to speak) if your happy with your wife and are both physically and emotionally for filled by it, I wouldn't worry to much.

    If you are curious about what it feels like to be with a guy, then thats kewl, it would be a new experience with new sensations and we all want new experiences.

    I would however recommend you change your profile to reflect the fact that you can't have a relationship/date. hookup. while your in a Monogamous Relationship ;)
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    Mar 20, 2008 6:57 AM GMT
    At the moment, I'm more attracted to men. Since I started working out, I tend to find the male physique getting more attractive each day. Maybe I envy those hard bodies and would like my body to look that way. But it is not just the body, I love a nice clean face to go with it. Yes - a pretty face to go with that. I think this is a must for me.

    Men, I don't have a good radar at all. How do you tell if one is into men. I don't think any of the guys in my gym are attracted to men. I try to get a glimpse here and there, but so afraid to look at any of the guys in the eyes. I'm afraid it might give me away and if they turn out to be totally straight, the guy I'm looking at might get totally disgusted - lol

    Wow - never opened up like that about my bi-sexuality. Thanks realjock for having this site.

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    Mar 20, 2008 7:06 AM GMT
    could it be you always had these feelings and just buried them deep?

    Is the marriage going great, seriously, in all aspects, or do you think this is could be the grass is greener?

    Dont feel ready to label yourself and dont make any rash decisions but if this becomes an all consuming thought then you have to start questioning am I with this person for the right reasons
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    Mar 20, 2008 7:28 AM GMT
    i was not surprise if you feel that way cause i been married too before. Only to realized after the married that the attraction between the same sex is much stronger compare to opposite sex.

    If you have that second thought i believe you still dont know what you really like. i think you have to re discover your self again.Attraction to same sex can be describe in many ways.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 01, 2010 6:13 AM GMT
    mikegotcha saidI'm married to a wonderful woman and finding out now that I'm getting very curious about the same sex. What's that mean? Am I bi? But I heard bi does not exist, so does that make me gay?

    Very confuse at the moment. Should I even act upon it or just let it go. I'll just fantasize - nothing wrong with that, right? Fantasizing is not cheating on her.......
  • rnch

    Posts: 11524

    Jul 01, 2010 3:34 PM GMT
    my current bf was married (legally still is!) to a wonderfull irish gal who immingrated to the USA to marry him.

    after 6 years of marriage and joint marriage counciling; they all agreed he is gay.

    he and I have been together for over 2 years. she has met me, approves of me and genuinely seems to like me. the bf and i have met her bfs/lovers and have all had social outings (no pun intended!) together.

    the 3 of us raise eyebrows when we walk into a party arm-in-arm.

    not quite the relationship i had looked for when I came out...but so far, it's working ok!

    not all of us realize our true sexuality in our teens!

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    Jul 01, 2010 5:10 PM GMT
    mikegotcha saidI'm married to a wonderful woman and finding out now that I'm getting very curious about the same sex. What's that mean? Am I bi? But I heard bi does not exist, so does that make me gay?

    Very confuse at the moment. Should I even act upon it or just let it go. I'll just fantasize - nothing wrong with that, right? Fantasizing is not cheating on her.......

    oh good god, Mary! You are gay.

  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 01, 2010 5:36 PM GMT
    Sounds like you're def not str8 and well on your way to cheating on hericon_idea.gif
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Jul 01, 2010 5:40 PM GMT
    I just looked at your profile- tinted hair, earings, too tight shirt, gay looking necklace. I think she knows already!!!!!!!icon_exclaim.gificon_question.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Jul 04, 2010 3:54 PM GMT
    My advice, for whatever its worth, would be that whatever you do, make sure you're honest with you spouse about it. Of course, you're not going to tell her you are attracted to other men flat out (mostly because you're not clear about it yourself) but if you start feeling that this is something that's going to get in the way of your marriage and end up making you unfaithful to your wife then my advice would be to first do right by her (whatever that means to you ) then explore how you feel...guilt free.

    You could be confusing admiration with attraction (i did that alot initially) or you could just be into guys. In the end, its all good as long as you make sure you're not being dishonest and hurtful to your spouse. Remember that in this situation, you're not the only one involved.
  • str8ish

    Posts: 9

    Oct 23, 2015 3:16 AM GMT
    You are not alone. I am straight to. Recently getting comfortable with the fact that I am very turned on by athletic men. Not all men but fit muscled guys make me very excited. I've been feeling this way for a few years and have attempted to breach the conversation with women that I've date but generally get the feeling that women are freaked out by the idea of guys being attracted to other guys.
    I'm pretty certain I don't want to date guys but I'm also very certain that I would like to try more than looking
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2015 3:28 AM GMT
    What is it with guy's with out head photos I want to see there faces so I can see what they really look like
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2015 3:31 AM GMT
    Here's a test.

    -Download Grindr
    -Meet someone discreetly
    -Determine if you like it

    If you do, you're not straight and you just cheated on your wife.

    This is one way. But another and better way would be to tell her you've been having these thoughts and ask if she's okay with you experimenting. Maybe even have her watch so she's a still part of it.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Oct 23, 2015 5:03 AM GMT
    If you think these thoughts are genuine then I would tell ur wife. It could go two ways though. The good way would be she would let you experiment and see if you like it, if you do maybe she would be into an open relationship, not sure if u could let another guy fuck your wife though. Or she could not understand become super upset, divorce you, take all ur money and assets, if u have kids take them away too most likely, and leave you with nothing. Hope you got a prenup when you got married. I wouldn't cheat on your wife though. I'm bi as well and in my experience if you mention to a woman your into guys you automatically are dismissed, and if you mention to a guy your also into women they don't think you are loyal and wont want a relationship. Kinda sucks when no one wants you. My advice would be find out what you like and when ur with that sex don't let them know you like the other sex too.