I thought he was mr.right

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2010 6:53 AM GMT
    It was about 1 year ago on the 8th of september i met my ex. I was already in a relationship at the time and wanted to get out of it for quite a while. We had met through a friend and hit things off well. A month down the road i noticed i started to have feelings for him. So i kept on going with what i felt, about 3 months down the line we confessed our love to eachother. He kept saying once we say it we cant go back. A few weeks go by and we get drunk and hook up, we talk about it the next day through text and continue on with the most amazing sex ever. At this time im head over heals for this guy.. Thinking thoughts like forever and getting married.. Things i never had wanted to do before. Ive had 3 other boyfriends that ive loved alot, but this one was The One. throughout the time of knowing eachother we aquire a bitter sweet feeling and picks fights here and there, nothing too serious though. just dumb stuff. he starts to lose enterest 6 months down the line while im going to buy a ring because we both have told eachother our love levels and i thought it would be good. we keep up those bickers though and have a few breakups here and there in those 8 months and finally he ended it.
    i was indenial for about 3 months. and kept asking to be together again. he has been me in his past relationship. and he grows further apart bc of me klinging & not letting go. mean time we still have sex and fight. its now going to be about a week before 1 yr of knowing eachother & he "forgets" plans and doesnt say sorry. i masked my love for him for 3 months, about 1 week ago i felt for him & now hes on my mind.. so much love goes out to him from my heart & soul & he doesnt want anything to do with me..

    what should i do. i know move on, but how when i messed this up and all im tryong to do is fix it & he doesnt want to own up to stuff. this is hard, please help
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11648

    Aug 25, 2010 10:05 AM GMT
    Why on earth would you wanna put yourself through the aches and the pain
    of having sex with the guy when he showing you .... thru what you've posted that he's not interested in getting back together

    You want even the POSSIBILITY of getting him back
    Tell him that being around him is too painful and that if he changes his mind at anytime he should call you
    ,,,, and you leave it there
    No calls
    No sex
    No emails
    and if there are any feelings left for you he will contact you
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2010 1:31 PM GMT
    dearlydarren said about 3 months down the line we confessed our love to eachother.
    There's your mistake.. the correct word is 'LUST', not love.
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Aug 25, 2010 1:43 PM GMT
    There isn't much you can do. If you have strong feelings for him they aren't going to just disappear as I'm sure you already know and it doesn't seem like he's going to be changing his position on getting back together with you any time soon.
    I have to side with GQjock. Distance is the best idea right now.
    You backing off of him and giving him some space might actually allow him to see how much he misses you when you're gone and just might change his mind - while at the same time distance from him will give you a better opportunity to get over him (see what else is out there in the world and allow some wounds to start healing). I've been in your shoes before and I can tell you that shutting him out for the long haul will do you a world of good.
    You can't start to heal with a reminder staring you in the face constantly.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    I feel like this is pretty standard for young (or the first few) "relationships" that one has. You hookup, have this lustful few months where you feel like the relationship was meant to be...etc, etc.

    Sooner or later you figure out that these early relationships are nothing more than the product of hormones and the allure of a real relationship.

    If you want to get over this guy, you need to cut off contact completely. Spend more time with your friends and don't force the relationship issue...relationships happen when you least expect them to, and you'll never see the best ones coming. Also, you're 21...its waaaayyy too early to be focusing on a committed relationship, you aren't on the clock. Enjoy life right now, but if that right guy comes along, be ready to recognize it and give him a chance. We've all been through this once or twice...things will get better!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2010 1:56 PM GMT
    Awww poor baby! Your so handsome too he's a jerk. Try doing this... "Like a good neighboor State Farm is there with Mr.right" Love yas ;3
  • myklet1

    Posts: 345

    Aug 25, 2010 2:04 PM GMT
    Red flag...........fighting in the first 3 months of a relationship. You can't make someone feel the way that you feel. Stop trying to fix it......you can't. He doesn't want you and that's okay because someone out there does. Don't waste any more time on the guy. Go have fun. Life is not about fighting, it's about having fun.
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    Aug 25, 2010 2:19 PM GMT
    If your both around your age then ya, you probably haven't been around enough to learn how to accept things and grow in relationships. It takes time and some failures. Quit looking for the one at your age. Enjoy life and wait a little. There is no rush!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 25, 2010 4:34 PM GMT
    I really appreciate the posts, i thought no one would get back to me. Im going to give no contact a try. Just he doesnt ever contact me bc i do him so i dont see him trying to get ahold of me