How many of your friends have you slept with?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 26, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    I grew up in So Cal - LA and mostly Orange County. I fled after college and most of my adult life have lived in the NYC area, with a few detours.

    Here, you're not a "slut" if you hook up once in a while and you're not assumed to be incapable of having a committed relationship if you have done so. People understand that sure, if you are blowing as many guys as possible as many times during the day as possible then you probably have issues but if you sometimes meet someone, you connect that way, you fuck, but you're not going to be boyfriends, that's normal.

    Then I realized that since this is normal, and that when you meet someone you like, are attracted to, have OK sex with, but don't want to marry, that a reasonable alternative is to become friends. So I started asking around, and for the large majority of my friends the friends they consider good friends are for the most part guys they slept with initially.

    So it got me wondering how general this is. Thus this post.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 26, 2010 11:26 PM GMT
    zero
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 26, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    oh dear god!

    Think of the children!

    They might get the impression
    - that it is ok to have sex with somebody even if you don't intend to get married.
    - That sex with a friend not automatically ruins a friendship.
    - that their friends will still be around if you have sex outside your monogamous relationship.

    Shame on you.

    ahem
    I've had hook-ups that became friends
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies that became friends that I still have sex with.
    I've had a hook-up that became my current boyfriend
    I've had hook-ups that I never saw again
    I have friends that I've had sex with
    I have friends that I do not have sex with
    I had a boyfriend that became a good friend and we'd still have sex occasionally.
    Anything is possible and it's all good
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:04 AM GMT



    bernd saidoh dear god!

    Think of the children!

    They might get the impression
    - that it is ok to have sex with somebody even if you don't intend to get married.
    - That sex with a friend not automatically ruins a friendship.
    - that their friends will still be around if you have sex outside your monogamous relationship.

    Shame on you.

    ahem
    I've had hook-ups that became friends
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies that became friends that I still have sex with.
    I've had a hook-up that became my current boyfriend
    I've had hook-ups that I never saw again
    I have friends that I've had sex with
    I have friends that I do not have sex with
    I had a boyfriend that became a good friend and we'd still have sex occasionally.
    Anything is possible and it's all good
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Aug 27, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    bernd saidoh dear god!

    Think of the children!

    They might get the impression
    - that it is ok to have sex with somebody even if you don't intend to get married.
    - That sex with a friend not automatically ruins a friendship.
    - that their friends will still be around if you have sex outside your monogamous relationship.

    Shame on you.

    ahem
    I've had hook-ups that became friends
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies that became friends that I still have sex with.
    I've had a hook-up that became my current boyfriend
    I've had hook-ups that I never saw again
    I have friends that I've had sex with
    I have friends that I do not have sex with
    I had a boyfriend that became a good friend and we'd still have sex occasionally.
    Anything is possible and it's all good





    I like you icon_biggrin.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    Ive slept with a friend thats it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:09 AM GMT
    Depends on the definition of 'friend'......... or level thereof.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:11 AM GMT
    Well, there is a guy I dated briefly back in the nineties that I slept with. He is friends with both my partner and me. We've been hanging out more lately (as friends only) as he recently moved closer to the part of town I live in. So, the answer is one friend that I hang out with on a semi regular basis.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:13 AM GMT
    That would be zero.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    jmals23 said


    bernd saidoh dear god!

    Think of the children!

    They might get the impression
    - that it is ok to have sex with somebody even if you don't intend to get married.
    - That sex with a friend not automatically ruins a friendship.
    - that their friends will still be around if you have sex outside your monogamous relationship.

    Shame on you.

    ahem
    I've had hook-ups that became friends
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies
    I've had hook-ups that became fuck-buddies that became friends that I still have sex with.
    I've had a hook-up that became my current boyfriend
    I've had hook-ups that I never saw again
    I have friends that I've had sex with
    I have friends that I do not have sex with
    I had a boyfriend that became a good friend and we'd still have sex occasionally.
    Anything is possible and it's all good





    hahaa the clip made me laugh

    as far as the friends thing goes, sex with friends is delicate in the way that if it's too close of a friend, or he happens to know your OTHER friends, or he's in the same group of friends that hangs together, it could really ruin that depending on how you guys interact with each other after the sex. like if there's shame and awkwardness, one of you will probably find another group of friends, but if you two enjoyed it, then hell yeah, you'll be doing a lot more things together from now on haha
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    I've only had one or two close friends that I've hooked up with. I generally don't have sex with my close friends. I have other friends that I'm not so close with that I'll hook up with from time to time, but it usually doesn't become a very strong friendship. I've also lost a couple of friendships because we hooked up and they felt awkward about it.

    For the most part, I stick to hooking up with people I get along with and boyfriends. I save my close friendships for those times I don't feel like getting hit on or asked for sex.
  • calibro

    Posts: 8888

    Aug 27, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    none
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    none
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:32 AM GMT
    None, but not for lack of a desire to, haha.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:35 AM GMT
    None....and im relieved to see so many others saying the same thing...thought I was gonna be the odd man out on this one for some reason.
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Aug 27, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    none
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    Don't fuck the flock!!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:41 AM GMT
    probably like 5... its only ackward if u make it...
  • d_1M

    Posts: 598

    Aug 27, 2010 3:45 AM GMT
    none
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:46 AM GMT
    D_MEXIKANO saidnone


    Same here, I don't sleep with my friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    mmm, one, my ex is now one of my best friends.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 3:48 AM GMT
    waxon saidprobably like 5... its only ackward if u make it...


    ditto...its only awkward if you make it awk...i've slept with maybe 3 or 4 of them and its not that awkward...it was a stage, thats not our relationship anymore and thats OK...just know where you are with people
  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 4:04 AM GMT
    None here in Florida. They were all tricks, before my partner.

    In other states, only once did I sleep with a guy with whom I was sorta friendly for several years. Otherwise just tricks, or guys with whom I had a monogamous relationship as a BF. Sleeping with your friends can be like sleeping with your co-workers -- fraught with all kinds of risks & complications.

  • Posted by a hidden member.
    Log in to view his profile

    Aug 27, 2010 12:51 PM GMT
    Art_Deco saidNone here in Florida. They were all tricks, before my partner.

    In other states, only once did I sleep with a guy with whom I was sorta friendly for several years. Otherwise just tricks, or guys with whom I had a monogamous relationship as a BF. Sleeping with your friends can be like sleeping with your co-workers -- fraught with all kinds of risks & complications.



    I think the risks & complications show a tendency for drama and discomfort that would already have pushed someone out of the set of possible friends for me. Maybe that's why it doesn't happen.

  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Aug 27, 2010 12:55 PM GMT
    I don't fuck friends...no thanks.