I've never been to a gay bar or been to any gay parade

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 26, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    and I have no gay friends to speak of. Everyone i know is straight (at least i think they are). I just have no desire to be a part of the gay culture. Am i missing something? icon_confused.gif
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    Aug 27, 2010 12:01 AM GMT
    Iv never been to a gay pride parade either. I didn't go to a gay bar or club until I was 30 years old then it was with a group of friends. I think iv been to the clubs less than 8 times in all. Last time about 7 years ago again with a group of friends. Id rather go to nice coffee house, dinner, movies concerts, Have friends over for a cook out, road trips. amusement parks. I normally only have a few friends at a time and most are str8 I don't go out seeking gay friends but just friends in general.
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    Aug 27, 2010 12:22 AM GMT
    actually, i'm not sure how comfortable i'd feel in any of the venues mentioned although i did just go to my first pride dance, stag, which, straight or gay is never a comfy feeling. Are gay guys cliquey or does it just seem that way to the new guy on the team?icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 27, 2010 12:39 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 saidAm i missing something?
    Easy sex.
    Other than that, not really.
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Aug 27, 2010 12:41 AM GMT
    attention?
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    Aug 27, 2010 12:48 AM GMT
    Maybe you need to search for other ways to meet gay men besides a pride festival or gay night club. I know in the Detroit area we have a gay classic car club, gay ski group, gay football team, gay golf group, gay swim team, gay singles groups that have a dinner and movie nights, a gay camping group, and many other gay groups for just about any interest. None of the groups get media attention like a pride parade or have the money to buy big ads in local gay magazines, so they aren't as visible. You have to look for them.
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    Aug 27, 2010 12:54 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 saidI just have no desire to be a part of the gay culture. Am i missing something?

    What appears to be "missing" is the breadth in the definition of "gay culture".
    As heartrob said, there are lots of things that fall into it.
    Find what suits you.
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    Aug 27, 2010 1:00 AM GMT
    heartrobb saidMaybe you need to search for other ways to meet gay men besides a pride festival or gay night club. I know in the Detroit area we have a gay classic car club, gay ski group, gay football team, gay golf group, gay swim team, gay singles groups that have a dinner and movie nights, a gay camping group, and many other gay groups for just about any interest. None of the groups get media attention like a pride parade or have the money to buy big ads in local gay magazines, so they aren't as visible. You have to look for them.


    i dunno, just no desire to be a part of a club that is stuck together cause of sexual orientation. To me it just seems kind of shallow.
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    Aug 27, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    then why try? why not let the wind blow the leaves where it may and just live. when you find the right guy, the time will be rite...rite?icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 27, 2010 1:31 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger> no desire to be a part of a club that is stuck together cause of sexual orientation. To me it just seems kind of shallow.

    And yet you've been on RJ for nearly 2.5 years?!
    Is RJ "shallow", too, just because it's a gay fitness site?
  • creature

    Posts: 5197

    Aug 27, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    Caesarea4 saidRuggedRanger> no desire to be a part of a club that is stuck together cause of sexual orientation. To me it just seems kind of shallow.

    And yet you've been on RJ for nearly 2.5 years?!
    Is RJ "shallow", too, just because it's a gay fitness site?


    I was thinking the same thing when I read he has no interest in being part of gay culture, yet he is a member of a gay site.

    But to answer the question without sounding like a b****: you're not missing anything. In life there are no have to's. You live and you die, that's it. Everything is optional. If you don't believe anything is missing, then continue doing what you're doing.
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 27, 2010 1:41 AM GMT
    Hey man,
    Its your life, live it the way you want to........
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    Aug 27, 2010 2:51 AM GMT
    creature> In life there are no have to's. You live and you die, that's it. Everything is optional. If you don't believe anything is missing, then continue doing what you're doing.

    True, yet just because one deludes himself into thinking he's not missing anything (to be politically correct)... doesn't mean something isn't missing.

    I guess I'd say: don't knock it until you try it. Hang out with the local gay book club or gay swimmers and see for yourself if you are missing something... or not.
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:05 AM GMT
    creature said
    Caesarea4 saidRuggedRanger> no desire to be a part of a club that is stuck together cause of sexual orientation. To me it just seems kind of shallow.

    And yet you've been on RJ for nearly 2.5 years?!
    Is RJ "shallow", too, just because it's a gay fitness site?


    I was thinking the same thing when I read he has no interest in being part of gay culture, yet he is a member of a gay site.

    But to answer the question without sounding like a b****: you're not missing anything. In life there are no have to's. You live and you die, that's it. Everything is optional. If you don't believe anything is missing, then continue doing what you're doing.


    I dont see how that is the same thing. I use it for fitness tips and possible dating if nearby.
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:07 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger, sometimes it's good to try something you feel a little piqued with. icon_wink.gif


    -us


  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 27, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
    I would say no, except I do think exposure to the gay scene can really be a learning experience. I'd encourage you to go to a bar or a "gay area" like a Church St. in Toronto, just to see what its like.... I did early on.

    Do I go into gay bars frequently. Of course not, but I'm glad I have had the experiences I have had.
  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Aug 27, 2010 3:10 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 saidand I have no gay friends to speak of. Everyone i know is straight (at least i think they are). I just have no desire to be a part of the gay culture. Am i missing something? icon_confused.gif
    Listen, I sort of agree with you. I am not apart of the gay culture either. I have been to club, bar, and even a parade. Actually, I didn't go to the parade. The owner of my gym is gay so he invited us over for a bbque and we could see the parade from his roof. Anyhow, I have went to these places to say I went and it was what I thought it was and I have not been back. I prefer being around mixture of people. I don't do all anything. Anyhow, I say nothing is wrong with you and in time you will see that there are many gay and bi guys who think just like you.
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:14 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 saidand I have no gay friends to speak of. Everyone i know is straight (at least i think they are). I just have no desire to be a part of the gay culture. Am i missing something? icon_confused.gif

    Neither have I ;3
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:21 AM GMT
    I dont think you are missing anything at all. Ive been to the clubs and to the parades, i havent been back in about 10 years. Sometimes its your scene and sometimes its not. Just do you! icon_biggrin.gif
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Aug 27, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    Only you can really say for sure. Are you happy? If you're single, are you meeting men you're attracted to and who are attracted to?

    Just because you sleep with men doesn't mean you're going to fit in the "gay" community. The community is far more broad and disparate then people think, but it's mainly some core groups that get all the attention.
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:29 AM GMT
    Joining RealJock is gay enough, isn't it?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    I never been to a

    gay club

    gay parade

    gay anything so dont feel bad lol
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    Aug 27, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    RuggedRanger15 saidand I have no gay friends to speak of. Everyone i know is straight (at least i think they are). I just have no desire to be a part of the gay culture. Am i missing something? icon_confused.gif



    I have the same problem here. I'm not really interested in gay culture and find it hard to be accepted by the gay community. This is probably because I am in the corporate world and have a lot of straight friends who do accept me for being gay.


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    Aug 27, 2010 3:56 AM GMT
    i have never been to a gay pride anything, and its a week long thing held here, lol, i just dont go. it isnt really me to march and do the "we're here, we're queer, oh, ur used to it?" thing. lol. ive been to both gay bars here, but find that i like the "str8 friendly" one best, ie, its a gay bar that caters to more mainstream clients, and is located in the same building as a str8 bar, its like the overflow almost lol. it has the feel of an upscale club, it just happens to be owned and staffed by some gay and some str8 people, its kinda neat and different, plus my str8 friends like it more than i do, lol.
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    Aug 27, 2010 4:05 AM GMT
    i think what is surfacing here is that society, gay or straight, somehow leads us to think we have to do and act a certain way if we are members. Straight society doesn't like 'sissy' guys, even if they're straight. we have social rules and the same seems to apply, directly or indirectly to the gay world. I'm quite comfortable being who i am, which is a masculine gay man who likes wrenching on cars, but likes the symphony as well as Santana, I don't think we need to fall into a category of being gay or straight. you can be a masculine gay man, the same as another guy may be lighter on their feet and that is ok too. See, we just can't seem to stop wanting to stereotype ourselves like cattle in a pen.....keithicon_cool.gif