THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 27, 2010 7:05 PM GMT
    Now i'm sure there are guys just waiting in the wings ready to pounce on this topic as having already been covered, but my question would be if so, why is bashing our brothers because of their preference so prevalent here?

    I like to read profiles to see what makes people tick and also to find guys that might be friends. I am amazed at remarks under the Guys i Want to Meet section, AND in some threads making not only rude comments toward our lighter footed brothers, but actually threatening to do physical harm or worse to them.

    There are a lot of threads on this site directed to how the gay world is perceived by those nasty straight people, how we face discrimination and hostility, and we quickly get our backs up and start a thread.

    But talk about the Laramie Syndrome...how can we expect anything different from the other side of the fence when we can't be civil and compassionate to others, gay or straight.

    For those slower in the mental processing dept. i'm talking about shitty and disgusting comments made to and about 'femmes', 'queens' 'fairies' light footers, what ever you think you can label them. I wonder why that is and what separates you from the straight thug who lures a young gay man out into the country, ties him to a barbed wire fence and beats him so bad with a revolver but that his parents cannot recognize him at his autopsy????

    Who the fukk are these knuckle draggers and why are the high noon crowd standing in the shadows not coming out and saying this is wrong. Humour me and respond.....Keithicon_cool.gif
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Aug 27, 2010 7:23 PM GMT
    This would be because the gays are just as conditioned as anyone else to be adverse to feminine males. I think it starts very early on in life. Most probably aren't aware of the aspects of gay and straight when at an early age - but families and communities point out 'sissies' and 'nancies' very early on and ridicule them. Most men are conditioned from the very beginning not to be -that boy- and not to grow up to be -that man-. So even if you do grow up to be a gay male there is still a lot of pressure (from the outside world and coming from within) not to be a feminine acting male. It's something that can't be helped - the effeminate male is the target of much torment and jokes the world over.
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    Aug 27, 2010 7:27 PM GMT
    It definitely hurts worse when the hate is coming from our own people.
    The true "live and let live" mindset seems to be somewhat rare.
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    Aug 27, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    but why do i see so many posts that go unanswered here or unchallenged when these monkeys fall out of the trees. I read one guy's prof. where he stated unequivocally that he wants to smash the face in of any femme he sees. Now who the fukk finds that attractive and why not challenge him so that he is dragged into the middle of the circle by the rest of us? These statements are not only disgusting, but in Canada, are bordering on offences under hate crime legislation in the criminal code. Is it because they somehow feel threatened by someone different, or like some of our straight friends, are terrifed they might BE a queen? oh fukk, god forbid!!icon_cool.gif
  • JJ_Atoli

    Posts: 295

    Aug 27, 2010 7:57 PM GMT
    Ever heard of Stanley Milgram? Lol
    He did some interesting work.

    The first problem is these statements are being made online. As everyone knows rarely in cyberspace and communities are you ever really held to any sort of standard nor to you really have to take responsibility for what it is you are doing or saying since there is an undeniable ability to rely on anonymity.
    Secondly, hate is hereditary. We learn it - and more frightening is that we are taught it by someone else in most cases. It is instilled in a person and usually there's nothing that can be done about it. If you really don't like something, you didn't like it yesterday, you aren't going to like it today and most likely no matter who or what intervenes you aren't going to like it in the future (you can be softened a bit but I really don't believe that people change.)
    As to why people don't go against others making derogatory remarks or they simply go along with it. Well there's a ton of reasons.
    Here's why I mentioned Milgram.
    Simply put it comes down to two things. Self-preservation and responsibility.
    Self-preservation: Not a lot of people go against the majority even when it wrong. Why? Because standing against many is troublesome to an individual. It's much easier to just let the bad continue that to get mixed up in trying to fight against it.
    Responsibility :Most of the guys on this site probably won't feel very threatened by something said about fem guys...why is that? Because they don't identify with the group. Most won't try to right a wrong unless that wrong directly affects them. (Because the human race has lost all apathy lol). And if they were to step up what would they accomplish? It would probably start an argument and no one wants that. 'Why am I gunna fight over something that doesn't effect me and get myself into trouble?' I won't - generally speaking.
    Or they just plain don't feel it's there place to speak out against.
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    Aug 27, 2010 8:00 PM GMT
    vetteset saidbut why do i see so many posts that go unanswered here or unchallenged when these monkeys fall out of the trees. I read one guy's prof. where he stated unequivocally that he wants to smash the face in of any femme he sees. ...
    That is unequivocally stupid, and whoever said it should have his own face smashed for being such a fuckwad.
    One of my friends is a VERY feminine drag queen. I cried my eyeballs out the night he called me to pick him up out of an alley where he'd been beat to a bloody pulp after leaving the bar...just for being in drag.
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    Aug 27, 2010 9:30 PM GMT
    well the fact that this thread has been running all day and only three of us have had any interaction, proves my point, hence Jimmy, the 'High Noon Syndrome'. You're way to young to remember, the movie High Noon with Gary Cooper is about a town sheriff who has to stand up against the local bullies by himself, because everyone in the town is afraid to.

    Maybe this thread has been beat to death in the past - paul, you would know, i'm fairly new here, but when i see threads that have been running for nigh of two years about nonsense, and also know guys like to get into the bullshit, old or knew, i gotta wonder.

    I know there are a lot more feminine guys here, cause i meet a lot of them, and i hope we can get some input. if not, we move on.....Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Aug 27, 2010 9:36 PM GMT
    You can't judge the longevity and participation in online threads based on anything, really. Some topics are easy, some hard. Some attract people to comment, some don't. It really doesn't mean anything.

    I don't stand for that kind of talk about nelly guys (or about women, "fish" jokes make me go ballistic) but then I've got a circle of friends who just wouldn't do that.

    I think it really comes from fear that they themselves might be that way.

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    Aug 27, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    i think there's a lot of truth in that, that's why some straight guys are so over vociferous about gay men..
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    Aug 27, 2010 9:39 PM GMT
    Yeah this subject has been beat to death, but it's far from dead. It will keep coming up almost every day until the end of the world. I've even seen this subject pop up in mixed/straight forums, though ironically those people seem to be much more accepting of our fem counterparts.
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    Aug 27, 2010 9:51 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidYeah this subject has been beat to death, but it's far from dead. It will keep coming up almost every day until the end of the world. I've even seen this subject pop up in mixed/straight forums, though ironically those people seem to be much more accepting of our fem counterparts.


    I think that straight people who participate in forums like that are probably pretty secure in their sexuality or pretty secure in not worrying about it no matter where i might lead them.

    But they also didn't grow up knowing they were different and seeing the raw, unreasoning, violent hatred directed at those who were identifiably gay, and then self-protectingly making up the story that if they weren't identifiable then they would be safe. And the existence of nelly gay men became the problem, along with their needing to prove they really weren't that way.

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    Aug 27, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
    gregography saidI think that straight people who participate in forums like that are probably pretty secure in their sexuality or pretty secure in not worrying about it no matter where i might lead them.

    But they also didn't grow up knowing they were different and seeing the raw, unreasoning, violent hatred directed at those who were identifiably gay, and then self-protectingly making up the story that if they weren't identifiable then they would be safe. And the existence of nelly gay men became the problem, along with their needing to prove they really weren't that way.

    That actually makes a lot of sense...never thought of it like that.
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    Aug 27, 2010 10:04 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidYeah this subject has been beat to death, but it's far from dead. It will keep coming up almost every day until the end of the world. I've even seen this subject pop up in mixed/straight forums, though ironically those people seem to be much more accepting of our fem counterparts.


    I figured so, but i've noticed it to be a real prob amongst gay folk. When i counselled on a gay teen site, it was even prevalent amongst kids in their mid teens into their 20s. Again, it confirms my belief that sexuality is a small part of what makes up the human psyche, humans are humans and sometimes come in the most vile forms, gay and straight.

    I have seen some shitty things in my life and i know that every species has a pecking order, but i don't stand by, generally, and see anyone picked to death because they aren't approved by some self righteous asshole. We who can need to stand up to these guys, even if it is only sending them an email when we see shit like this on their profile.

    Lets' not forget how many of our sisterly brothers have gone thru the furnace ahead of us to move legislators and the gen. public to rethink laws and attitudes. In my books, we are standing on the shoulders of giants, the drag queens, the femmes and trannys, they have the balls to be what they desire and i love that.....keithicon_cool.gif