Two RJers walk in to a bar...

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    Aug 27, 2010 11:05 PM GMT
    U-FINISH-IT - JokeOfTheDay

    Two RJers walk in to a bar...
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    Aug 28, 2010 12:04 AM GMT
    NakedBudd saidU-FINISH-IT - JokeOfTheDay

    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    ... where they spot the last remaining open bar stool. But 2 other gay guys have also seen it, and they all claim the same bar stool at the same moment.

    "Let's flip for it," says one of the RJers.

    But the other one says: "No, let's flip it over."
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 28, 2010 1:12 AM GMT
    LMAO.
    So they flip it over and lube up the legs,,
    Nelly the size queen goes first,,sitting down slowly all the while drinking a cosmo...then..........
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:13 AM GMT
    NakedBudd saidTwo RJers walk in to a bar...
    ...one turns to the other and says "fuck, that hurt."
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Aug 28, 2010 1:14 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    NakedBudd saidTwo RJers walk in to a bar...
    ...one turns to the other and says "fuck, that hurt."

    Nelly chimes in,,,Hurts so good...then..........
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:16 AM GMT
    NakedBudd said

    Two RJers walk in to a bar...


    One turns to the other and says:

    "Ow! You didn't see it either??"icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:17 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar. When they try to order drinks one farts and starts laughing. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink several times but the first RJer just keeps laughing and now has turned red.

    Fed up, the bartender asks, 'What's gotten into to you?"
    The RJer can't choke out a reply from laughing and points at his friend....



    Ba bump-bump.

    -Doug
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    meninlove said Two RJers walk into a bar. When they try to order drinks one farts and starts laughing. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink several times but the first RJer just keeps laughing and now has turned red.

    Fed up, the bartender asks, 'What's gotten into to you?"
    The RJer can't choke out a reply from laughing and points at his friend....



    Ba bump-bump.

    -Doug



    ...WOW!...That's a little deep for me.....
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:20 AM GMT
    and then one screams ''help help im bleeding''

    ''whats wrong''says the other realjocker

    ''I think i had my period'' so he runs to kmart to buy a tampon and then he puts it on getting blood all over his hands lmfao
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Aug 28, 2010 1:21 AM GMT
    jgymnast733 said
    paulflexes said
    NakedBudd saidTwo RJers walk in to a bar...
    ...one turns to the other and says "fuck, that hurt."

    Nelly chimes in,,,Hurts so good...then..........




    Space_cowboy_89 walks in and sees liltanker, JB82, calibro, djdorchester and coldpirate and leaves the joke for a while b/c he's busy but will be back once he's done. icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:23 AM GMT
    Space_Cowboy_89 saidSpace_cowboy_89 walks in and sees liltanker, JB82, calibro, djdorchester and coldpirate and leaves the joke for a while b/c he's busy but will be back once he's done. icon_cool.gif
    Don't fap too long or your dick will fall off. icon_razz.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:28 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    ...after some heavy action in a car outside, and don't realize their pants zippers are still open. As they sit down on the stools the bartender notices it.

    So he says to them: "You guys need to know both of your 'barracks door' is wide open."

    Well, this slang term doesn't mean anything to them, and they mumble among themselves for a moment, until one of them notices the problem, and they quickly zip-up.

    Trying to save face, one of the RJers says to the bartender: "Well then I suppose you saw our 2 soldiers standing at attention as we came in."

    "Nah," replied the bartender, "But I did see 2 shriveled old veterans sitting on their duffle bags."
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:29 AM GMT
    NakedBudd saidU-FINISH-IT - JokeOfTheDay

    Two RJers walk in to a bar...


    One of them is Southbeach1500 the other is rickrick91. Five minutes later the police arrive. Which one does the police arrest?
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    JB82 said
    NakedBudd saidU-FINISH-IT - JokeOfTheDay

    Two RJers walk in to a bar...


    One of them is Southbeach1500 the other is rickrick91. Five minutes later the police arrive. Which one does the police arrest?

    Neither they have a Foursome
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:40 AM GMT
    meninlove said Two RJers walk into a bar. When they try to order drinks one farts and starts laughing. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink several times but the first RJer just keeps laughing and now has turned red.

    Fed up, the bartender asks, 'What's gotten into to you?"
    The RJer can't choke out a reply from laughing and points at his friend....



    Ba bump-bump.

    -Doug


    Good one, I had to think it over, nice
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:43 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    ...after arriving in separate cars parked outside, and then meet up inside. And one of them proceeds to get very drunk, while the other just has Cokes with him all night.

    At closing time they both leave, one stumbling down the sidewalk, trying several car doors before he finds his own, and then dropping his keys several times. And watching all this are 2 cops sitting in a cruiser just out of sight, patrolling for drunk patrons at bar closing. In the meantime the other customers along with the second RJer get in their own cars and leave.

    So finally the first guy manages to get into his car, and start it with some difficulty, and the moment he puts it in gear the police cruiser comes forward with its lights flashing and blocks his car. They make him produce his license and take a field breathalyzer test.

    But the cops are shocked to see the results are negative, 0.0. "Hey, haven't you drinking?" one of the cops demands.

    "No, officer," replies the RJer politely. "Tonight I was the designated decoy."
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:44 AM GMT
    What the hell are rj'ers doing in a bar? A place of cheap simple fast carbs?
  • Space_Cowboy_...

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    Aug 28, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidWhat the hell are rj'ers doing in a bar? A place of cheap simple fast carbs?



    hes right! They walk into my bedroom icon_cool.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:51 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar.

    A shy guy down at the end of the bar has a crush on one of them, but only knows his first name. He waves the bartender over and says,
    "I'd like to order a drink for my friend there, Richard. But please please don't tell him it's from me. he doesn't know me." and blushes.

    The bartender shows up with the drink and says to the RJers, "Which one of you is Richard?"

    "I'm Rich." says the first one.
    "I'm Richie" says the second. Then they start arguing over who the drink is for, they ask who sent it but the bartender won't tell. So they start flaming the bartender, who sighs, goes back to the shy guy and says,

    "They're both Dicks. "

    -Doug
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:52 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidWhat the hell are rj'ers doing in a bar? A place of cheap simple fast carbs?
    I met an RJ'er in the bar last night, but I've never seen him on RJ. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 1:53 AM GMT
    lilTanker saidWhat the hell are rj'ers doing in a bar? A place of cheap simple fast carbs?

    Obviously just there for the jokes....
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    Aug 28, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    ...where the bartender knows them, and they both sit down together. Across the bar is a very beautiful woman who's immediately attracted to them, not surprising since these are manly & handsome RJers. icon_wink.gif

    So she calls the bartender over and says "I'd like to buy each of those good-looking men a beer."

    "It won't do you any good," answers the bartender.

    "Ah, just do it, please," is her sharp reply. So the bartender takes over 2 beers to the RJers, and the 3 customers exchange pleasant nods.

    When the beers are finished, the woman decides to make her move and walks over to the 2 men, and introduces herself. "I'd like to buy you another round," she says.

    "It won't do you any good," says one of them. A little miffed at that, the woman asks why not.

    "Because we're gay."

    She's shocked, and starts to stutter. "Gay? But, but, that means you... you..."

    "It means we like to suck cock," came the blunt reply.

    "Bartender," she called, admitting defeat, "Bring over 3 beers for us gays."
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    Aug 28, 2010 2:16 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    with a "photo ID and jackets required" policy, a big bear and a young twink. The bear is turned away for not wearing a jacket and the twink, wearing one five sizes too large, is carded and ejected from the bar for not carrying the proper identification. Says the twink to the bear on the sidewalk: "What'chya expect, I'm pictureless and I hijacked your threads."
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    Aug 28, 2010 2:21 AM GMT
    Ok, dont quit your day jobs, gentlemen. ... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Aug 28, 2010 2:23 AM GMT
    Two RJers walk into a bar...

    ...and they see a sign at the bar challenging anyone to a contest with their burly resident bouncer, for a substantial amount of prize money.

    "What do we have to do?" one RJer asks the bartender.

    "First our bouncer squeezes a lemon dry with his bare hand. Then he gives the lemon to you. If you can squeeze it single-handedly and get another drop out of it, you win."

    "The's easy!" declares the RJer, naturally being in great shape. So the bouncer is called over and squeezes a fresh lemon first, then passes it over. But the RJer fails to get another drop out it.

    "WOW, that really is harder than I realized!" he exclaims. "Well, that's why no one's done it yet," says the bartender.

    "Well, I guess no harm in trying," says the second RJer, and he takes his turn, but also fails.

    Just then a mousy little guy comes in the bar, wearing glasses and only half the size of the other men. He reads the sign and says he'd like to try. Well, everyone just laughs at him, but he insists.

    But when he squeezes the lemon, he gets 4 more drops out of it, and wins the prize!

    "How could you do that?" demands the bartender. "How did you manage to squeeze those last drops out? Are you like some kind of lumberjack or weightlifter?"

    "Oh, no," answers the man, "I just work in an office all day, for the I.R.S."