HIV Scare... paranoia or real risk?

  • JDB410

    Posts: 2

    Aug 29, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    Hey guys... so in the last 24 hours I hooked up with a boy who is HIV+ (but who is on meds and who is undetectable) ... we had oral sex (i blew him for like 1 minute... didnt notice any precum) and he came on my chest, but some of it got onto my groin area and hands (where i was jerking myself off).

    I'm not freaking out about the oral sex.... rather, i'm wigging out that somehow when i was jerking myself off, i could have exposed myself by somehow exposing my urethra to his cum as i was getting myself off.... which I doubt even happened... but I keep on thinking it could have.... it sounds far fetched, I know....

    What say you? Time to run to the hospital and get PEP? or calm down and realize that I'm fine?

    Sigh. I thought I could handle it, because I know a lot of people are able to deal with the risks and who dont have issues with hooking up with guys who are on meds... apparently I was wrong.
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Aug 29, 2010 1:39 PM GMT
    You are fine love, only worry if he had cum inside you with no condom on or if his cum got into your mouth and you have open cuts or if it got into your eye.
    i personally wouldnt engage if i knew he was HIV+ but as long as you play it safe you should in theory be ok albeit is a bit risky.
    he did advise you he was hiv pos so you do whatever you want at your own risk
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    Aug 29, 2010 1:49 PM GMT
    I wouldn't worry too much about it - the virus isn't terribly stable outside the body anyway. Get tested on a routine schedule as you normally would, but I don't think you have any reason to bee paranoid or lose sleep over it.
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    Aug 29, 2010 1:52 PM GMT
    I'm not an expert on the subject but living in this day & age has made me Very well read. In all likelyhood, it sounds as though there was nearly zero chance of transmission, although from the sounds of it, you might not want to be so quick to assume that since a guy is on meds & undetectable that there is a lower chance of transmission. I'd like to hear what the other guys on here have to say.
    I can relate though, I had a serious scare a few years ago when I hooked up with this cute younger guy (he looked like a choir boy for Christ sakes) and we got into it, only for me to have a supreme lapse in judgment when I opted on no condom when I fucked him. He didn't say a word, and I was focused on, um, something else. After a marathon romp, I look over at him and say "it's a stupid time to mention this now, but just so you know I'm clean & negative." He looks at me and replies, "Thanks. I'm not." I B-lined to my doctor the next day, got the PEP thing going, insisting on being safe ever since. Thankfully I tested negative & have ever since. I don't look at the PEP stuff as a fail-safe, but only a last resort. My ex was also positive and we were ultra careful; to his credit, he was way more concerned for my safety than may have even been healthy, but what the hell. Good Luck!
  • camofchris

    Posts: 73

    Aug 29, 2010 2:08 PM GMT
    Sex is dirty and therefore there's always a risk, regardless of precautions. The challenge is to minimize the risk by either not having it (yeah right) or attempting to protect yourself (body condom? lol).

    Anyway, In this scenerio, I think you'd have little cause for concern. And, for a lot of reasons I won't get into, you should have little risk of contracting it via your urethra.

    Like was mentioned above, just get tested regularly. You'll be fine.

    Cam
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:13 PM GMT
    The virus dies in 3 seconds once it is exposed to air. By the time it could have gotten into your urethra it was probably already dead. Please do not worry about it, you'll make yourself sick thinking that you are hiv positive. If you are too worried just wait a couple months; don't engage in any sexual conduct with anyone and get tested.

    It is probably nothing to worry about. If you had anal sex and the guy fucked you and came in your anus, then yeah your chances are very high that you would be positive. But from what you are describing none of it is possible. A word of advice, don't discriminate against hiv+ men by not having sex with them just play safe.
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:14 PM GMT
    JDB410 said...hooked up with a boy who is HIV+ (but who is on meds and who is undetectable) ...


    This information from a stranger is a lot more likely to be true than when someone tells you they are HIV-, and based on that it looks like your risk is pretty much nil.

    People who say they are HIV- but have unprotected sex with strangers are far more likely to be HIV+ and lying, or think they're HIV- but in fact have been recently infected and so are shedding massive amounts of virus making them basically infection machines.



  • camofchris

    Posts: 73

    Aug 29, 2010 2:15 PM GMT
    Amen, bigtallman. Amen.
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:20 PM GMT
    gressive said
    It is probably nothing to worry about. If you had anal sex and the guy fucked you and came in your anus, then yeah your chances are very high that you would be positive.


    Not that I would ever recommend someone who's HIV- taking unprotected loads from anyone, much less a stranger, but taking a load from someone who is HIV+, on meds, and undetectable is very low risk. Not low enough to not do PEP because even if it's like 1 on 10000 who want to be that one?
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:27 PM GMT
    bigtallman saidPeople who say they are HIV- but have unprotected sex with strangers are far more likely to be HIV+ and lying, or think they're HIV- but in fact have been recently infected and so are shedding massive amounts of virus making them basically infection machines.

    True, an important fact I can't stress enough. Even if the guy shows you negative HIV test results he was handed THAT MORNING, that doesn't mean he's negative today.

    It means he was negative at the outside time range of the test's ability to detect the presence of the virus. But depending on the test used, for instance the mouth swab commonly given free with quick results, the HIV indictors may not appear in the blood for 3 to 6 months from the moment of his infection. So today's test results merely indicate he was negative 3 to 6 months ago, not right now. And in the meantime, as you say, he's been an infection machine.

    Safe sex means assuming EVERY new guy you meet is positive, no matter what he says, or even shows you.
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:27 PM GMT
    its paranoia man i freak out after every sex act for like 2 days later even if its 99% safe. im sure ur good cuz like every1 says HIV doesnt survive well outside the body and also it has to be a certain amount that enters your body, but im not a councelor. Best bet is to just go get tested in a month and then in 3 months to set your mind at ease.
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:29 PM GMT
    It's normal to feel worry; that's your sense of self preservation kicking in.
    That said, I think the guys gave some great advice.

    Consider your comfort zone when trysting next time and adhere to whatever makes you feel personally secure. Do some research on the many excellent websites available on the 'net.

    -Doug
  • Import

    Posts: 7190

    Aug 29, 2010 3:06 PM GMT
    Dude, same thing happened to me about 3 years ago. I had met this really cute guy and we hit it off great. I had no idea he was HIV+ tho. Anyway, after a night of clubbing and drinkin we went back to his place and messed around. Basically, we 69 eachother and he came. I then proceeded to use his cum as lube and jerked myself off with it (disgusting I know). Later I found out he was positive and I was shitting myself. I though surely I got some of his cum in my urethra. When I went and got tested I was negative. 3 months later I got tested again and was negative. 6 months later I was tested again and was negative. Then a year after the incident I was tested yet again and negative. So, 3 years later I'm negative. I think you'll be fine dude, but I hope u learned a valuable lesson.
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    Aug 29, 2010 3:50 PM GMT
    I feel that if you don't know how or can't practice safe sex then you are not mature enough to have sex. Information is out there. Google it.
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    Aug 29, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    I think you are going to die
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    Sep 02, 2010 7:07 PM GMT
    sdgman saidI think you are going to die

    This is by no means a funny post, whether it was intended to simply be comedic or actually satirical.

    This joke holds no water when there are men HERE, on THIS forum, who are living with HIV --- and to them, it IS a matter of life or death. And to the OP, it could be too. As a matter of fact, it is a matter of life or death for ALL people who have sex. We are all balancing our risks. And that means you, too.

    So next time, beware ignorance obscured by attempted humor.

    Patrick
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    Sep 02, 2010 7:15 PM GMT
    bigtallman said
    JDB410 said...hooked up with a boy who is HIV+ (but who is on meds and who is undetectable) ...


    This information from a stranger is a lot more likely to be true than when someone tells you they are HIV-, and based on that it looks like your risk is pretty much nil.

    People who say they are HIV- but have unprotected sex with strangers are far more likely to be HIV+ and lying, or think they're HIV- but in fact have been recently infected and so are shedding massive amounts of virus making them basically infection machines.


    I love you.

    It is so nice to see someone who is not HIVphobic and is educated on the issue. Preach it, girl.
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    Sep 02, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    JDB410 saidHey guys... so in the last 24 hours I hooked up with a boy who is HIV+ (but who is on meds and who is undetectable) ... we had oral sex (i blew him for like 1 minute... didnt notice any precum) and he came on my chest, but some of it got onto my groin area and hands (where i was jerking myself off).

    I'm not freaking out about the oral sex.... rather, i'm wigging out that somehow when i was jerking myself off, i could have exposed myself by somehow exposing my urethra to his cum as i was getting myself off.... which I doubt even happened... but I keep on thinking it could have.... it sounds far fetched, I know....

    What say you? Time to run to the hospital and get PEP? or calm down and realize that I'm fine?

    Sigh. I thought I could handle it, because I know a lot of people are able to deal with the risks and who dont have issues with hooking up with guys who are on meds... apparently I was wrong.


    You'll want to research this yourself with cdc.gov.

    Current research indicates that given the behavior that you engaged in, the risk is fairly low of infection, in fact, very low, but, as with ANY contagious disease, it should be treated as just that: contagious. It's a contagious illness, just like any other, and, unless you see current certified blood work on someone you should consider anyone has a certain level of risk, especially those who were irresponsible and managed to contract that contagious disease to begin with. Remember: in 2010, it's pretty darn hard to get HIV by accident. It comes with bad behavior, or being incredibly unlucky. How the disease spreads is NOT surrounded by ANY level of mystery. Because your risk with this particular behavior is fairly low, you shouldn't use to as a way to shirk your responsibility to contain a contagious illness. You still have a responsibility to yourself, and to society in general, to do the right and proper things.

    You should likely consider, given the concern that this activity has caused you, whether, or not, it's wise for you to continue engaging in that risky behavior. You should also consider a higher responsibility to the rest of society to containing the disease by quarantine and not engaging in risky behavior. You may find yourself gaining more peace of mind by being more defensive in steps to protect yourself, and not taking risks with folks who are infected with the disease. Don't ever forget: you're dealing with a contagious disease that can, and will, cause premature DEATH.
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    Sep 02, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    bigtallman said
    JDB410 said...hooked up with a boy who is HIV+ (but who is on meds and who is undetectable) ...


    This information from a stranger is a lot more likely to be true than when someone tells you they are HIV-, and based on that it looks like your risk is pretty much nil.

    People who say they are HIV- but have unprotected sex with strangers are far more likely to be HIV+ and lying, or think they're HIV- but in fact have been recently infected and so are shedding massive amounts of virus making them basically infection machines.



    Agreed
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    Sep 02, 2010 7:45 PM GMT
    ^Yup.

    You should be responsible in your behavior. You should consider everyone a risk.

    You wouldn't assume that a power line was shut off and grounded, and you shouldn't do that when dealing with folks who are potential carriers. Just because something looks fine, or tells you it's fine, it doesn't mean that it is. (Folks are ignorant; other folks lie their asses off (remember...these folks were all about themselves and that's how they ended up sick in most cases; if they cared about others they wouldn't have been so irresponsible to begin with). Just as an energized power line looks EXACTLY like a de-energized power line, you should consider that unless you want to be part of the problem, you have to step up and do the right thing and contain the disease. That's means doing the right thing, every time.
  • SCgradStud

    Posts: 88

    Sep 02, 2010 7:54 PM GMT
    As a professional on the subject I can assure you there was little to no risk for viral transmission. Unless you happened to have an open sore or cut in the area where his cum landed. And even if you did the chances are still very small.
    However this does not mean you should go about your business ignoring the fact that you may have exposed yourself to HIV. I suggest you go and get yourself tested in about 6-8 weeks and again every 6 months thereafter. If you find yourself coming down with flu like symptoms then go and get tested IMMEDIATELY. This is usually the first sign of infection and the flu like symptoms are a result of the immune system detecting the infection and attempting to destroy it.

    Please feel free to email me with any questions. I'm graduating in Dec with my PhD and currently writing my dissertation on the effects of exercise in HIV infected persons. So I'm pretty well educated and up to date with the current research

  • Nautical

    Posts: 204

    Sep 27, 2010 2:22 PM GMT
    There is no harm in being tested and treated, I personally always have safe sex but still get regular tests. I hope you are okay.
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    Sep 27, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    You're fine. Better chance of winning the lotto - and if you do win the lotto be sure to look me up icon_smile.gif

    Life is full of risks. Education is the key. You have two choices, to stop sucking cock and having sex with men and join a monastery, or continue to live your life safely.

    Knowledge is power. Get some!

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    Sep 27, 2010 2:55 PM GMT
    Why are you even having sex with this dude....???????

    Are there no other men around you that want to have sex? Men that are responsible and think with the head between their shoulders?

    Men that have heard of rubbers? Surely there are....

    Dude.....when I guy tells you he is +, look at your watch and say

    "I have to get up early" and drive or RUN away as fast as you can.....icon_rolleyes.gif

    You are going to be okay and PLEASE remember that it is flu season so, if you get FLU like symtoms, it is most likely the flu......

    STOP HAVING SEX WITH HIV+ DUDES.....
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 27, 2010 3:01 PM GMT
    The risk of catching anything through oral sex is so minimal, like I said, you have a better chance of winning the lotto. Thats why men SUCK COCK. It IS a safer sex. no sex is completely safe unless you wrap yourself in plastic, which by the way, someone asked me to do to him in response to a craistlist posting I put up. But that had nothing to do with safe sex, he just wanted to be wrapped up in saran wrap (go figure).

    There are plenty of seroconverted couples where one is positive and the other is not. This isn't the salem witch hunts, its the 21st century.

    There will always be risks. You can minimize them but excluding a class of people is not the answer. Because most people don't even know what their status is.

    What if you yourself became positive? What would you do? Would you stop having sex with other people?

    Quit being hysterical and get the facts.