Lost motivation to even pick up dumbells...

  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Aug 29, 2010 1:55 PM GMT
    This may seem like such a stupid topic...but something that's been bothering me recently. I don't know much about gay lifestyle and all that, but it seems gays put way more emphasis on looks than straight people. Straight guys aren't judge on looks compared to gay guys. The thing is...currently I LOVE my skinny body! I don't have that much muscles, but I never wanted to be the strong muscular hulk. I wanted to lift a little bit of weights just to gain a little muscle and just tone that. I feel so happy being small and slim, I know if I was really buff and muscular I wouldn't. Thankfully, that only requires years of hard work and dedication and it can't happen by accident, so that's a good thing. It's great for other people, but for me, I wouldn't want to work hard on something like my body. I couldn't think of any benefits at all, so the motivation to lift weights isn't there. But, it seems every gay person is attracted to muscular peeps and isn't fond of skinny peeps. I know straight guys who are skinny and have 0 problems getting girls. I would assume a skinny/slim gay guy would be the same way, based on looks and character. Don't get me wrong, I am attracted to muscular guys, but I don't want to be the muscular or strong one. I don't think it's a problem if I focus on jogging/playing sports as a skinny person dating a guy who goes to the gym 5x a week, and eats lots of food. I always liked being the small spoon, and I probably can't eat more than 2,000 calories icon_eek.gif

    I wouldn't mind lifting a bit, but I don't know where to start with someone who doesn't have a bodybuilder, Chris Evans physique like plan. More like an average Joe, regular plain body routine. I also feel like I have to force feed food to bulk, which is NOT what I want to do. The eating thing is what throws me off completely. I don't get hungry often, and there isn't any motivation to even convince me.
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    Aug 29, 2010 2:16 PM GMT
    I got laid when I was 50 lbs overweight just as much as I get laid now.
    I got serious about fitness and nutrition when I got a bad physical checkup from the doc.
    So yes, there are benefits to fitness and nutrition other than just a stunning physique.
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    Aug 29, 2010 3:42 PM GMT
    I like skinny guys. O.o... I know other gay dudes that like fat guys. Still others that enjoy guys SO muscular they can barely touch their arms together.

    There's nothing wrong with being a different body type. Especially if you're really happy with the way you look. One day somebody will come along that enjoys your body type as much as you do. So as long as you're not SO skinny that it's causing you health problems... I say enjoy it. And be patient.

    icon_cool.gif


    Edit:
    By the way. Straight dudes care about the way their girl looks. But rarely do they give a shit about how they themselves look. I think that's what makes the difference in the gay community. Because we are men, who are attracted to men, we bridge a path between wanting an attractive mate, and needing to be attractive ourselves. Most straight dudes never think of males in terms of sexy, or not sexy. Since they're male, they most likely never critically think of themselves in those terms, either.

    It's a "work in progress" kind of theory.. icon_smile.gif
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Aug 29, 2010 3:46 PM GMT
    So long as you are comfortable with your look..... very muscular or thin, is strictly your own business. Too many people feel they have to change to meet some image. Glad you like how you look. Just maintain the appropriate exercise and nutrition to keep you fit and healthy. That doesn't mean your lifting heavy weights.
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    Aug 29, 2010 3:57 PM GMT
    I'd encourage you to do some strength training exercises even if your goal is to stay small and slim. There are health benefits with strength training such as increased bone density and having functional strength for daily activities. I think there is a beginner program on this site - shouldn't be hard to find. Don't worry about bulking up - most guys have to really try to bulk up before putting on any sugnificant size. It doesn't happen accidentally!
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    Aug 29, 2010 3:59 PM GMT
    There are PLENTY of guys who are attracted to fit lean guys. You don't need to have a "gym body". So long as a guy takes care of and shows respect for his body, I don't care what "type" he is. icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2010 4:15 PM GMT
    I like fit, lean guys much more than muscular, bulky dudes.
    Be proud of your build, and yes, you can lift to gain some muscle mass.
    I'm not against some muscle.
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    Aug 29, 2010 4:29 PM GMT
    people are people and you are maybe feeling the muscle push, because you are on a gay fitness site. But in the end, go where your body and mind take you. That's where you'll be happiest. Sidenote, i have NO problem with a slim lean and tight body, you can drop crackers in my bed anytimeicon_wink.gif Keithicon_cool.gif
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    Aug 29, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    KnuxNole said...
    I wouldn't mind lifting a bit, but I don't know where to start with someone who doesn't have a bodybuilder, Chris Evans physique like plan. More like an average Joe, regular plain body routine....

    I agree with what others have written about being satisfied with a lean physique. Also, as this is a fitness oriented site, you see more of an emphasis on physiques than other sites.

    Based on what I extracted from your message, there are sources to give you information on weight training without the goal of bulking up. In fact, many of the magazines, especially, are designed with the bulked up look in mind, and are not sound for the genetically average, not into taking various supplements. A basic book I recommend is by Stuart McRobert, "Build Muscle, Lose Fat, Look Great". The title might put you off, not being interested in building much muscle and not needing to lose fat. But it still has sound advice at the intro level, appropriate for lifting a bit (not overtraining), and with health benefits in mind.
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    Aug 29, 2010 5:33 PM GMT
    and, correct me if i'm wrong, there are lots of fun things you can do without lifting that will keep that lean swimmer look, racquet sports, swimming, jogging, gymnastics, anything active.....if you want to lift weights, do lite weight, high rep and stay off the heavy stuff.....keithicon_cool.gif
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    Aug 29, 2010 6:49 PM GMT
    The way i see it is this; there's someone out there for everyone so if you're happy with yourself then don't worry about what the typical gay thinks or does. I've always had a large build and muscular, sure I do lift occasionally but it's really rare anymore.. Maybe a couple times a month...if i'm lucky! I grew up on a farm so that gave me a good build when I was growing up with all the farm work. So yeah it kind of can happen on accident! lol. But I kind of like the larger build and since I can't really do anything about it because it's just how my body is, I figure I may as well keep it. I've tried to lose weight and slim down, but it won't cooperate. The lowest I ever got was 180 and I felt great there, but I don't think it's worth all the hard work it took to get there. Sure I had a lot of compliments at that weight, but I'm not going to do it just because it made everyone else like me. I'm somewhat comfortable where I am so that's fine icon_smile.gif
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    Aug 29, 2010 7:06 PM GMT
    OP, even if all you want is a ripped swimmer body, depending on how skinny you are, it will still take you many years of bulking. Look at charlitos's photos -- I would have to gain around 21lbs just to reach his BMI (and I'm not even talking about shape).

    I know what it feels like not having that much appetite, specially when we're surrounded by gluttons. I've tried a few appetite enhancing drugs, just to find that the more effective the drug, the drowsier I felt. To make things worse, healthy food tends to be poor in energy and you'd have to eat it in quantities larger than your appetite can handle -- which is why you're a good candidate for food supplementation.

    I'm not sure from your post what kind of guy you're into besides muscular guys. Can you clarify?

    edit: look at the post above -- it will take me another year of workout just to reach this "skinny" guy's BMI, and I've been working out for more than 2 years already
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    Aug 29, 2010 7:20 PM GMT
    just do some push-ups for what you want.
  • KnuxNole

    Posts: 219

    Aug 30, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    Great advice in this thread. However, I tried to look in the workout plans section and couldn't really find anything meant for someone who wants to stay slim/skinny but work on some strength training and maybe have some muscle.

    Or maybe I am just blind.

    But I could definitely check out that book SoCal mentioned.

    Oh, and to answer someone's question. I love guys of all sorts of body types, but I guess I mentioned muscular because most of the guys i have crushed on were muscular. Guess it's the opposites attracts thing. BUT, I also love slim guys too, they are amazing. Basically it's about character, looks are a bonus.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 30, 2010 5:09 PM GMT
    KnuxNole saidGreat advice in this thread. However, I tried to look in the workout plans section and couldn't really find anything meant for someone who wants to stay slim/skinny but work on some strength training and maybe have some muscle.

    Or maybe I am just blind.

    But I could definitely check out that book SoCal mentioned.

    Oh, and to answer someone's question. I love guys of all sorts of body types, but I guess I mentioned muscular because most of the guys i have crushed on were muscular. Guess it's the opposites attracts thing. BUT, I also love slim guys too, they are amazing. Basically it's about character, looks are a bonus.

    Take a look at the reviews on Amazon. The first review by Goonan elaborates perfectly on my comment above.
  • LJay

    Posts: 11612

    Aug 30, 2010 5:28 PM GMT
    Gee, I can identify. I can't even get up the energy to go to the bar to meet the dumbbells, let alone try to pick them up!

    /joke

    Why not try walking or light swimming or something just to get toned. I think you raise a good point that there are guys who just want to be healthy, but not necessarily in the gym all the time. You should be albe to do what you want to do with little or no equipment at home. I'm hoping that you will get some good suggestions along that line. I'd like to see them myself.