Is there chivalry amongst gay men??

  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Aug 29, 2010 7:38 PM GMT
    Yesterday had lunch with some friends, a gay couple Edward & Stan were in the mix. Another friend joined us a few minutes later and brought a friend of his along we'll call Steve. So we're all just enjoying conversation about fitness, workout routines and etc when Steve started dispensing workout advice to all of us (note that Steve ain't all that icon_confused.gif). Then all of a sudden he starts commenting on Edward's physique in a very unfavorable manner. Now Edward is a dear friend of mine so naturally I told Steve to shove it. I was definitely shocked by Stan's behavior during all of this. He just ate and observed; not a single word of defense for his bf of 3 years.

    So this brings up something that I've seen happen before.... are there any chivalrous gay men willing to defend the honor of their beloved?

    (I hope so...)
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    Aug 29, 2010 8:13 PM GMT
    kietkat saidSo this brings up something that I've seen happen before.... are there any chivalrous gay men willing to defend the honor of their beloved?

    (I hope so...)

    To answer yes on behalf of ourselves is a bit awkward. But I'm sure I would defend him, though I don't recall anyone insulting him, whether or not my partner was present.

    What did happen recently during Pride, however, was a guy who seemed to threaten him at our booth. I was distracted for a moment a few feet away, and caught this comment behind me. I spun around and inserted myself between this guy and the table where my partner was seated, and menacingly demanded to know what he meant by that. My partner later said I looked like I was gonna tear his face off.

    The guy was clearly scared, and quickly clarified what he had said, which indeed I had only partly heard, not the threat I thought it was. I relaxed and all was well. I'm not very aggressive regarding myself, but concerning the welfare of those near to me I am totally different, absolutely protective.

    But here's something completely the opposite I've seen, a guy dissing his partner. I was poolside having breakfast at a gay resort in Key West where we were staying, following the SMART Ride event. And a number of riders & crew were also staying there. As my partner & others drifted away after eating, I found myself sitting alone with this guy I barely knew.

    Well he starts telling me about his relationship problems with his partner, whom I also barely knew, who'd just finished breakfast with us. Now I'll try to offer sympathy & advice to a guy who comes to me for it, but I became uneasy as he began to catalogue all his complaints about his partner, in some rather intimate areas.

    Hey, buddy, I barely know either of you, and I wouldn't want to know this much detail about my good friends. I'm essentially a stranger, and you're bad-mouthing your own partner to me? Talk about unchivalrous. I found a way to terminate this.

    I later told my own partner how appalled I was at that behavior, the disloyalty of it (he'd known them fairly well for years, and he agreed with me). If things are that bad, then you're both overdue to split, but don't wash that dirty linen in MY presence.
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    Aug 29, 2010 10:12 PM GMT
    I hope there is haha T__T
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Aug 29, 2010 11:51 PM GMT
    I am very protective of Norm. There have been a couple times that I have had to get into it with someone. Not physically bit I would if I had to. I love him and he is a very sweet and caring man. He is my man. A few years ago he was running for President of our county counsel and there were a couple people that didn't like him because he was gay. This one time in particular was a big very muscular guy and he actually threatened Norm. I was so angry I jumped out of my seat and dove at him. It took a couple people to hold me back. (Good thing, He would have kicked my ass. LOL) At that moment I didn't care. He was not going to hurt Norm. He was kicked out and they let me stay. Norm won by the way. I was very proud of him. He deserved it.
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    Aug 29, 2010 11:56 PM GMT
    Absolutely! I always hold the door for my husband, I asked his mom for permission to get engaged before popping the question, I'll often pay for dinner, and I'd definitely defend him if an issue arose.

    Strangely, and disturbingly, we found a thief in our room while on vacation last month. Steve woke me, I saw the guy moving past the end of our bed, and I went after him to try to kick his ass. Fortunately, he escaped and I couldn't find him (the guy probably would have had a knife or something) but in the heat of the moment I could only think of protecting us and trying to eat the guy. ;)
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    Aug 30, 2010 1:35 AM GMT
    kietkat saidYesterday had lunch with some friends, a gay couple Edward & Stan were in the mix. Another friend joined us a few minutes later and brought a friend of his along we'll call Steve. So we're all just enjoying conversation about fitness, workout routines and etc when Steve started dispensing workout advice to all of us (note that Steve ain't all that icon_confused.gif). Then all of a sudden he starts commenting on Edward's physique in a very unfavorable manner. Now Edward is a dear friend of mine so naturally I told Steve to shove it. I was definitely shocked by Stan's behavior during all of this. He just ate and observed; not a single word of defense for his bf of 3 years.

    So this brings up something that I've seen happen before.... are there any chivalrous gay men willing to defend the honor of their beloved?

    (I hope so...)



    In a situation where someone's comment could turn into a provocation that leads to an ugly scene, if it is just a verbal confrontation sometimes the best thing to do is to handle it yourself so as to avoid trouble by having others get involved. I am a big boy and can handle criticism or sarcasm on my own thank very much!!!

    I myself have been in Edward's position where an ugly comment was directed towards me in the presence of a bf. So if such an issue between you and the aggressor arises the right thing to do is to handled it yourself and avoid getting anyone else involved, unless of course if it turns into a physical confrontation invitation I will stick up for my bf and I hope he does the same thing for me.


    Leandro ♥
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    Aug 30, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    kietkat saidSo this brings up something that I've seen happen before.... are there any chivalrous gay men willing to defend the honor of their beloved?

    (I hope so...)
    It doesn't have to be my bf. I'm defensive of all my friends.
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Aug 30, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    some people don't like confrontation. My last bf of a year would never stand up for anything. He was scared. It was always me. But I was the one to jump in and stand up for someone or something in a pinch so he probably never got a word in edge wise :p. Everyone does things different.
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Aug 30, 2010 2:43 AM GMT
    Geoedward saidI am very protective of Norm. There have been a couple times that I have had to get into it with someone. Not physically bit I would if I had to. I love him and he is a very sweet and caring man. He is my man. A few years ago he was running for President of our county counsel and there were a couple people that didn't like him because he was gay. This one time in particular was a big very muscular guy and he actually threatened Norm. I was so angry I jumped out of my seat and dove at him. It took a couple people to hold me back. (Good thing, He would have kicked my ass. LOL) At that moment I didn't care. He was not going to hurt Norm. He was kicked out and they let me stay. Norm won by the way. I was very proud of him. He deserved it.


    Now that's what I'm talking about!! I'd stand up for my man even against a behemoth like the guy mentioned icon_eek.gif
  • kietkat

    Posts: 342

    Aug 30, 2010 2:47 AM GMT
    MidwesternKid saidsome people don't like confrontation. My last bf of a year would never stand up for anything. He was scared. It was always me. But I was the one to jump in and stand up for someone or something in a pinch so he probably never got a word in edge wise :p. Everyone does things different.


    This brings up an important point regarding the fact that many ppl avoid trouble but at what cost? Idle hands.....

    It is all too common for ppl to just look the other way when someone is in trouble. icon_cry.gif
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    Aug 30, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    No not really. there are a few that have some balls and will speak up for a friend/family or even someone they dont know but they see they are being wronged.
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    Aug 30, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    sure!
    Tops always pay for dinner!
    either that or ive been being scamed
  • NashRugger

    Posts: 1089

    Aug 30, 2010 3:00 AM GMT
    YES
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    Aug 30, 2010 4:35 AM GMT
    I hear being a damsel in distress is highly overrated.
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    Aug 30, 2010 4:36 AM GMT
    Voice22 saidsure!
    Tops always pay for dinner!
    either that or ive been being scamed
    You're being scammed. icon_lol.gif
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    Aug 30, 2010 4:38 AM GMT
    paulflexes said
    kietkat saidSo this brings up something that I've seen happen before.... are there any chivalrous gay men willing to defend the honor of their beloved?

    (I hope so...)
    It doesn't have to be my bf. I'm defensive of all my friends.


    I agree and Id be compelled to take someone out GRRRRRR icon_evil.gif
  • BIG_N_TALL

    Posts: 2190

    Aug 30, 2010 4:50 AM GMT
    yes...
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    Aug 30, 2010 4:57 AM GMT
    /rantoff

    Oh I just love wild generalization and rhetorical questions. ....or at least the ones that read as ones... icon_rolleyes.gif
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Aug 30, 2010 4:58 AM GMT
    There's a whole angle here that some of you are missing.

    You defended another man, while he was present. Some men could take it as a blow to their ego that you, another man, defended them. Maybe in their minds, they felt totally capable of defending themselves, if they thought it was necessary. It could be that they thought "Steve" was a worthless tool, and was unworthy of response/scene.

    It could argued by some, that by you taking charge of the situation, you made the other men seem weaker, or even unable, to defend themselves.

    I've learned recently some that men are a lot more delicate than you'd imagine. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 30, 2010 5:10 AM GMT
    Hmmm...too much unknowns to comment. Perhaps Edward can handle himself quite well and he and Stan have a gentleman's agreement to not wade in unless the other signals for assistance.

    -Doug
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    Aug 30, 2010 5:11 AM GMT
    Who's Chivalry??
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    Aug 30, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    nv7_ saidIt could be that they thought "Steve" was a worthless tool, and was unworthy of response/scene.


    Surely, you jest! All offensive comments must be taken seriously and one's honor must be defended. I miss the days when we resolved these disputes with a gunfight at high noon.
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Aug 30, 2010 5:13 AM GMT
    DrNY saidWho's Chivalry??


    He used to date LaQueesha, or maybe it was Lunesta. They're twins, I always get them confused. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Aug 30, 2010 5:15 AM GMT
    nv7_ said
    DrNY saidWho's Chivalry??


    He used to date LaQueesha, or maybe it was Lunesta. They're twins, I always get them confused. icon_biggrin.gif


    Twins....icon_wink.gificon_wink.gif..wait, are they hot???
  • nv7_

    Posts: 1453

    Aug 30, 2010 5:16 AM GMT
    unfounded7 said
    nv7_ saidIt could be that they thought "Steve" was a worthless tool, and was unworthy of response/scene.


    Surely, you jest! All offensive comments must be taken seriously and one's honor must be defended. I miss the days when we resolved these disputes with a gunfight at high noon.


    Oh I'm all for people getting shot. That's probably something I should omit from my profile and/or resume. icon_eek.gif