Fag - and other possibly disturbing words

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 23, 2008 7:50 PM GMT
    I was watching the comedy clip from one of the other posts and heard the gay comedian use the word "fag". I've never really liked the word and it brings up unwanted feelings when I hear it.

    I've talked to people about this before, some say my reaction is a generational thing and others say it's just personal. I'm sure it's some of both, but what are your thoughts and other gay "labels" you don't like?
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    Feb 23, 2008 8:06 PM GMT
    it depends on the context and delivery.

    THat comedy clip you speak of, I don't like how he uses the word fag, that brings up bad feelings for me.

    But, I have no problem with the word fag its self, I call my self a fag and I'll even permit my friends to use the word on me at appropriate times, but they know not to overstep that line and never do, its used in an affectionate way with good meanings behind it.

    its like over words that can be used poorly against races, cultures, people, it all depends on how it is used, when its used purely to be funny or with no intention of causing harm, then I see no problem with it, when its used in a farmful way, then I'll get pissed about it.
  • GeorgeNJ

    Posts: 216

    Feb 23, 2008 10:00 PM GMT
    Mostly, I hear the word fag used for effeminate queens, and not generically for anyone gay. Occasionally, however, I hear it used more generically.

    But as lilTanker says, it depends on the attitude of the person using it.

    I would never use the word to describe myself because I think it's basically a pejorative word.
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    Feb 23, 2008 10:05 PM GMT
    I agree, it depends on the context. I had a gay friend say "You are such a fag!" when I said I liked to cook. That really offended me. But if a friend asks the group of friends "What are you fags up to tonight" that doesn't really bother me as much.
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    Feb 23, 2008 10:08 PM GMT
    WildCuddler saidI was watching the comedy clip from one of the other posts and heard the gay comedian use the word "fag". I've never really liked the word and it brings up unwanted feelings when I hear it.

    I've talked to people about this before, some say my reaction is a generational thing and others say it's just personal. I'm sure it's some of both, but what are your thoughts and other gay "labels" you don't like?


    Honestly, the word "fag" hasn't bothered me in a long time, simply because I've heard it so much. I'm a [video] gamer, and the word "fag" is the not-so-new "asshole" or "fucktard." Lol I was a closet case for so long that I got pretty desensitized tot he word. Hell, I'm known to say "Wow, that was gay," or "ASDLFKJASD What a fag! >icon_sad.gif" when I'm in game.

    *shrug*

    I guess it all has to do with perspective, just like most things. icon_smile.gif

  • Barricade

    Posts: 457

    Feb 23, 2008 10:10 PM GMT
    kinda like the n- word. I have friends who toss it around but if the wrong person says it it's offensive.
    I've never really liked FAG or QUEER. Whenever I've heard those words they have been aimed at being mean. So to hear them makes me tense up, they have negative meaning for me....
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    Feb 23, 2008 10:41 PM GMT
    I never had a problem with the word fag. Back in the nineties when smoking was still cool, I learned it was a slang term for a cig in london and I thought that was awesome. Still have always been big, so noone ever called me a fag.

    Queer? That one doesn't bother me either. I mean not like it isn't a more than applicable term to describe us and what we do. All of it is rather queer, you reckon?

    As for queen, now that I am no longer a princess, I consider it quite an honor when my gay friends call me that. But again, noone who wasn't fooling with me would ever call me anything derogatory to my face. Being a big guy has it's perks.
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    Feb 23, 2008 10:55 PM GMT
    Words dont bother me at all. Midget is somewhat of a taboo term to little people but I figure thats what I am so I dont care lol.
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    Feb 23, 2008 10:58 PM GMT
    If i get called a "fag" I dont argue....


    I do however, tell the person that they also forgot Supermodel AND Actor.....

    That usually leaves the offender speechless, cause they are expecting a different reaction!!!


    Hope this helps!!

    Frank (slackerjock)icon_lol.gif
  • Menergy_1

    Posts: 737

    Feb 23, 2008 11:29 PM GMT
    I wouldn't use the terms "fag," or "queer" or"poof" or "pole smoker" or "fudge packer" etc. in reference to gay men, since they've all been used in a derogatory, hating, divisive manner by non-gay people. I think it's dangerous to try to determine the use is in jest and friendly. I find the line between acceptable and not acceptable confusing, I guess.

    Sure, I see where lots of you guys joke and use the terms jokingly among yourselves (like blacks are able/allowed by their fellows to use the n-word but the rest of us who aren't black may not) - and I've had friends who deliberately use "queer" and "fag" and "homo" or "mo" referring to themselves to straight listeners just for the shock value, the "in-you-face" attitude of "I'm gay, get over it, and I'll rub your nose in it in the meantime, too."

    Maybe I need to loosen up a bit, huh? (But then my speech habits aren't queenly, filled with "gurl this and gurl that, changing pronouns to "she" and "her" and so on...it's just not "me." So I don't plan on forcing a change, my friends, but I can laugh along with y'all.)
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    Feb 23, 2008 11:33 PM GMT
    mtown_nerd said
    Honestly, the word "fag" hasn't bothered me in a long time, simply because I've heard it so much. I'm a [video] gamer, and the word "fag" is the not-so-new "asshole" or "fucktard." Lol I was a closet case for so long that I got pretty desensitized tot he word. Hell, I'm known to say "Wow, that was gay," or "ASDLFKJASD What a fag! >icon_sad.gif" when I'm in game.

    *shrug*

    I guess it all has to do with perspective, just like most things. icon_smile.gif



    Actually this type of thing bothers me more tha anything. Using the word fag to discribe someone who's gay at least I can understand. Using the word "fag" or "gay" as a negative term to put-down someone and usually is meant to be worse than words like "asshole" and such. I find that to be extremely unacceptable.

    I was an RA in the dorms and my residents would use "gay" in a negative way around me now and then. Once they realized I was in the room they became appolegetic and sorry. Many of them actually stopped using it in a negative way, at least around me, and that made me feel good.
  • zakariahzol

    Posts: 2241

    Feb 24, 2008 12:07 AM GMT
    I just cant stand it when some guys call me RICE QUEEN. That is the most insulting word in my vocabulary.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2008 1:26 AM GMT
    I hate it when people equate "gay/fag" with "guys who wanna fudge-pack the FUDGE outta you" icon_mad.gif It's not all about that...

    It made 9th grade REALLY akward hearing that kind of stuff, that being a the first year I really figured that attraction thing out.

    I STILL get this burning, pissed off feeling when someone says 'faggot' within earshot! icon_mad.gificon_mad.gificon_mad.gif
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    Feb 24, 2008 3:13 AM GMT
    I kind of have stopped caring about words and try to remember the childhood saying ... "sticks and stone may break my bones .. etc"

    I am more concerned in the way that words are used. That is if it is with a threatening tone. I want to know the intent of the person using the word .. do they want to bash a queer? will it lead to violence? will they damage my property? do they think I am inferior? I would rather someone use those words and expose themselves for what they are. I would rather be able to have witnesses that could hear a person use those kinds of words in case they did lead to actual harm. Then it could be used against a person in court if need be.

    I would rather have my freedom of speech unhindered than words being banned. It is actions like I mentioned above that I am more concerned with. When a person tries to label you they are in fact labeling themselves. I want to know who my enemy is, so I say go ahead and speak your mind. As they say, your words may come back to haunt you. I have the intelligence to filter and see the important and dismiss the rest.

    BTW, here is another thread on this topic ..
    http://www.realjock.com/topic/45708/
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    Feb 24, 2008 3:16 AM GMT
    Rhodielifter saidI agree, it depends on the context. I had a gay friend say "You are such a fag!" when I said I liked to cook. That really offended me.
    You should have made them up an ex-lax creme pie. lol. If a hot guy told me he likes to cook, I would say ALRIGHT! whatcha gonna make me? Good for the eyes, good for the stomach .. not much else you can ask for .. well mostly
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    Feb 24, 2008 3:22 AM GMT
    Man, I call everyone a faggot. It's literally a term I use to talk about virtually any guy. Rather than 'That guy and his girlfriend' I say 'That faggot and his chicken'. It certainly turns a lot of people off, but I've never said it with the intent to offend, aside from maybe a hypermasculine guy or two.

    The way I feel about all 'offensive' words is: if a word is said with the intent to offend, then it is more offensive than any word meant in a more casual setting. So saying,'You're so dumb!' is much more offensive to me than a guy calling me a faggot as a casual term.

    Not everyone sees it this way.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2008 3:26 AM GMT
    Here is the other discussion on the word and it's origins ..

    http://www.realjock.com/topic/91510/
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2008 3:30 AM GMT
    Let me clarify my position. As a college age person words dont bother me at all. However, I worry about younger gay people like jr high and high school because they may be affected negatively by these terms.
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Feb 24, 2008 12:16 PM GMT
    It's the Gay man's "N" word
    Its Ok to hear it from other gay men
    but if its used by anybody else.....it's offensive
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    Feb 24, 2008 1:02 PM GMT
    AbFab1 said I find the line between acceptable and not acceptable confusing, I guess.


    I agree with abfab. Who decides when it's okay? I'm sure we've all heard the term used and had this bad feeling inside. If you use the the "f" word, you never know who you might be making feel bad or angry.

    My logic tells me that if we don't want other people to call us fags, we need to stop calling ourselves that. It is not cool.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 24, 2008 1:12 PM GMT
    GQjock saidIt's the Gay man's "N" word
    Its Ok to hear it from other gay men
    but if its used by anybody else.....it's offensive


    With all due respect, but that, is the biggest load of bull, I have ever heard.

    You have two guys, one gay, one straight. Both call you the "F" word, and you are going to take offence from the straight guy, saying it, and not the gay guy icon_rolleyes.gif

    Am I the only gay guy on here who thinks that is ridiculous icon_question.gif

    Mike
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    Feb 24, 2008 1:16 PM GMT
    zakariahzol saidI just cant stand it when some guys call me RICE QUEEN. That is the most insulting word in my vocabulary.


    Yeah I get upset when people say I am a rice queen because I have an Asain partner, as if it is the most unusual thing in the world to fall in love with a guy that is not of the same cultural background as you.

    I tell them I am an "a la carte queen" I like to look at all parts of the menu! Just look at my hot list.

    I personally find "cocksucker" a pretty obnoxious term.
  • MikePhilPerez

    Posts: 4357

    Feb 24, 2008 1:23 PM GMT
    vtorso said[quote][cite]AbFab1 said[/cite] I find the line between acceptable and not acceptable confusing, I guess.


    I agree with abfab. Who decides when it's okay? I'm sure we've all heard the term used and had this bad feeling inside. If you use the the "f" word, you never know who you might be making feel bad or angry.

    My logic tells me that if we don't want other people to call us fags, we need to stop calling ourselves that. It is not cool.[/quote]

    Thank God, someone is talking since.

    Mike
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 24, 2008 2:07 PM GMT
    I dunno, I tend to think the English language has been a bit too over politically correcticized. We spend so much time trying to figure out what not to call something that we never really figure out a good descriptor to actually name the thing.

    I understand that I am often misunderstood and thought to be offensive, and it's because I refuse to politely tiptoe around something. I very rarely mean to intentionally offend anyone. That being said, I enjoy the use of many words people would like me to avoid, and fag is a big one. I just don't get it. I don't get the PC drama bullshit surrounding the use of the word... you can use it if you've got a cock in your mouth on the evening of the second tuesday of the month and there's a full moon, but you can't use it if you're a carpet munching breeder? WTF. I understand that there are definitely malicious contexts of using words, and if such a word were used against me in such a context I would respond appropriately, but unless I feel that it was deliberately malicious I tend to let it slide. I operate in the same way. I very rarely use words maliciously, and to be perfectly frank, I'm enough of an ass hole that if I'm having to resort to calling someone a faggot, I should just keep my mouth shut and not waste my time because there are generally many better ways of insulting someone.
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    Feb 24, 2008 4:51 PM GMT
    i laughed when my sister boyfriend referred to a fanny pack someone was wearing at the ski hill as a "fagbag". for some reason, the rhyming, and the fact that they werent wearing it as a joke, and it was neon yellow (and it was a woman) just made the word seem highly entertaining.

    now, whne my roommate says he's going to Cuba and needs to get a base tan but "feels like a faggot" going to a tanning salon i fuckin bitched him out. and i've got to a gree with him. taking a preventative measure to avoid getting burned is pretty gay. almost as gay as the malaria pills he probably forgot to go get. douche bag.