Am I wrong about this?

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    Feb 24, 2008 2:13 AM GMT
    I have a friend who people criticize for maipulating people into doing what he wants (sex, drugs, parties, dates with him, other things). He talks about them afterward--to everyone. He tells everyone what they looked like naked, what they did in bed, what they said to him, what he wanted from them, and what they gave him and didn't give him. Not his best girlfriend, best friend, or therapist; he'd tell EVERYONE about his and others' miscommunications, private matters, or personal difficulties. He'd tell people who knew the people who he was talking about all of those things. He'd lie about people and what they did to make others feel bad for what he was doing that he hated himself for doing. He didn't discuss those matters with the people he was talking about, nor discuss them with others as issues which people face, he would flat out tell EVERYONE EVERYTHING about EVERYONE. There were a few people who had the nerve to stand up against it, listen, believe it would change, try their best to do better for him and others than he was, but it ended up nearly DESTROYING quite a few people's lives who were there for him all of those years and didn't blame him or the other people who he was involved with for what had happened, but instead tried their best to be kind and do their best whether or not they were in the best of situations. It cost people (and me) a lot of time, money, and energy to make amends for it.

    Whenever someone would try to do something about it, he'd fly into a rage and try to ruin someone's business, someone else's property, or harass people and start rumors about people who were doing the right thing or doing what everyone else was doing, so that he could manipulate everyone else into doing what would make him look good to himself, and keep who he would call his enemies from saying anything about it or doing anything about it, and keep everyone telling him what he wanted to hear, instead of their honest opinions. He'd suck up to people he thought were powerful and stroke their egos and introduce them to his young hot mess "victims" so they could drug them up and get in on the manipulation action.

    Time and again, he'd avoid even apologizing for it, go through a song and dance to divert everyone's attention, and send them away feeling sorry for him. Over the years, it became worse and worse.

    I think people just learned to steer clear of it. Eventually, someone cared enough to drop everything for long enough to drive these "demons" out of him and stop watching him try to take on the world by himself. His life instantly changed for the better whenever kind people took the chance to do something about it.

    When people ignored it and just talked back to people about him, made him look foolish, or tried to blow him off because of it, they were just doing what he was freaking out about, anyway, and it made everyone else look like losers. I actually think he was just acting out what others wouldn't say anything about, but knew they were also doing.

    I really don't want to end up having his example, errors, and hateful, spiteful, and rude behavior affect my interpersonal, business, or spiritual relationships and I assume nobody else does.

    I think some of the drug dealers in town actually like when he does it because he'll stir up a controversy whenever someone notices that they're also trying to manipulate people in many of the same ways. He would and has tried to ruin others' lives just because they did something he didn't like. Sadly, he's not the only one who'd do it. He's just one of those who didn't understand that it was happening to him when it was. He'd just fall for the crap, time and again. I refuse to accept that that was the hand he was dealt, that was what he wanted, or that was what he earned. I also refuse to accept it happening to me or my other friends, too.

    I know I can't say everyone does all the same things or thinks similarly or responds the same as everyone else, but this just isn't right.
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    Feb 24, 2008 4:23 AM GMT
    Good grief my friend, the post is too long. I highly suggest you summarise it, unless of course, you don't mind few/no replies.
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:21 AM GMT
    Yeah, I think it's too long, too.
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:30 AM GMT
    ...and who cares ... icon_rolleyes.gif
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    Feb 24, 2008 4:24 PM GMT
    I couldn't get through the whole thing. Anyone have the Cliff Notes?
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    Feb 24, 2008 4:43 PM GMT
    N one on this Planet could ever Manipulate me in any shape or form! Yeh was long l now have a headache!
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    Feb 24, 2008 4:54 PM GMT
    YIKES!icon_eek.gif
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    Feb 24, 2008 5:40 PM GMT
    I don't understand why you would allow such a fucked up person in your life. Get rid of them.
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    Feb 24, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    chuckystud saidI don't understand why you would allow such a fucked up person in your life. Get rid of them.


    This time Cs and I agree completely - RUN!
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    Feb 24, 2008 9:35 PM GMT
    Narcissistic Personality Disorder - Run don't walk.
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    Feb 24, 2008 10:28 PM GMT
    He is one f***ed up dude. Initially I thought he might be a sociopath, but I think ursamajor is right a serious narcissistic personality disorder is going on here.

    Chuckystud is right, suggest he get professional help then run in the opposite direction, and don't let him back in your life unless he changes. I hate to sound hard hearted but if you want some happiness in your life you have to minimize the number of screwed up people you let into it. You have been forewarned!
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    Feb 24, 2008 10:36 PM GMT
    I can't say I've always or will ever had the perfect complement of friends...but this guy sounds like a cake taker. Hell, he sounds like a 5 course meal of various kinds of animal dung.

    The story does make me think about how we forms bonds with the people we do. Especially if we're able to step back and see the connective 'error' at work.
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    Feb 27, 2008 5:26 PM GMT
    If He tells Everything - it means he always has good listeners, right? =)
    We call such dear people - ohmy "free advertising" agent ))

    Their functionality's obviously limited - similar to cheap robots

    But it's not necessary to circulate then, just spill something right to him and you've got loads of PR for free in your absence as if he was on your orders icon_biggrin.gif
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    Feb 27, 2008 6:58 PM GMT
    Whew - long post!

    Sounds like the guy is a train wreck heading for disaster. He's going to alienate everyone around him and end-up a pathetic drug using fool with no friends or support. I would recommend that you stay as far away from him as possible before you get caught-up in his vile ways. Sounds like there really isn't anything that you can do to "save" him - save yourself!