I've ask this earlier but I need more info Could a dude who is straight and have a girlfriend be hitting on me Confusing and contradictory actions

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 6:20 AM GMT
    I'm attracted to a friend I've known for nine months but this dude has given me confused signals and I don't know about him here are the clues
    1) Text me drunk calling me his "boo" or "he misses me"
    2) He always want me to get loaded with him and would text me nonstop until I come
    3)Sings to me "I make his heart go round" lol
    4)Tries to hug me and says things like I need some loving
    5) Came up from behind me and put his arm around me and on top of my heart
    6) Told me "he wants to do me" or that "I should taste his lollipop." but in a joking manner
    7) Says i should get his name tattoo on my chest or hearts
    icon_cool.gif Sat next to me and bent pretty close down to my crotch area to pick up a pen or bent down to paste a poster up while i was standing next to him and I had to back up

    He has a girl friend he is serious about and at times don't even pays attention to me. He talks about children and females. I'm usually the one that always text him. He masculine and plays sport and don't seem gay at all but then he'll do something weird is this normal male behavior or is something up
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Aug 31, 2010 1:13 PM GMT
    TB1987 saidI'm attracted to a friend I've known for nine months but this dude has given me confused signals and I don't know about him
    1) Text me drunk calling me his "boo" or "he misses me"
    2) He always want me to get loaded with him and would text me nonstop until I come
    3)Sings to me "I make his heart go round" lol
    4)Tries to hug me and says things like I need some loving
    5) Came up from behind me and put his arm around me and on top of my heart
    6) Told me "he wants to do me" or that "I should taste his lollipop." but in a joking manner
    7) Says i should get his name tattoo on my chest or hearts
    icon_cool.gif Sat next to me and bent pretty close down to my crotch area to pick up a pen or bent down to paste a poster up while i was standing next to him and I had to back up

    He has a girl friend he is serious about and at times don't even pays attention to me. He talks about children and females. I'm usually the one that always text him. He masculine and plays sport and don't seem gay at all but then he'll do something weird is this normal male behavior or is something up


    It is dificult to take you seriously without photo's.

    I am confused though?
    What is the actual problem here?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:32 PM GMT
    There are several mutually exclusive possibilities:

    A) The guy's straight, but exploring something new, possibly with the approval (and participation) by his girlfriend. If he's going to get involved with you, it is mostly for the purpose of recreational sex.

    B) The guy's a closet case (gay or bi) and discovering, through contact with you, an important aspect of his sexuality.

    C) You are reading too much into his "signals" and it's probably time that you looked elsewhere.
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:34 PM GMT
    Just get it done and over with and pull his pants down.
    When he gets hard and shoots his load, then you know.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:39 PM GMT
    Could be that he is curious and wants to
    experiment and is testing the waters with you. Also, it could be he just likes messing with your mind.
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:44 PM GMT
    I had a like problem years back. I started to kinda crush on this guy. then one day he just upped and vanished. I thought maybe I might had said something to offend him and he just put an end to hangin out with me and my friends. all these years ive thought about it and kinda felt bad. he was a good guy and i wanted him in my life, as a friend, if more great but not a big deal. He added me on facebook last week and it was one of the first things i talked about with him. he told me it was nothing i did or said but just that he felt bad cause he knew he was kinda leading me on.

    some guys just like doing that to gay guys. If i were you id just come out and say somethign to him. tell him your starting to enjoy it and getting the wrong idea.
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:45 PM GMT
    did your original thread get deleted?
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    Aug 31, 2010 4:54 PM GMT
    OK, here we go again...icon_rolleyes.gif

    Find a real man. The only reason he's giving you his attention is because you're responding; and it's stroking his ego!!!

    WHO CARES WHAT HE WANTS?! He wouldn't get it from me, I can tell you that. But then I wouldn't put up with his shit so it would have stopped the minute it started.

    I'm not here on this earth as some form of entertainment for "Srt8" men who don't have large enough balls to ask for what they really want.
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    Aug 31, 2010 5:08 PM GMT
    I'd say that he's questioning men and finds you as a target.. I assume he knows your sexuality. So he is probably just letting this stuff come out when he's drunk, and not when sober. OR, maybe he knows he likes to fool around with guys too on the side even though he has a girl so hes hitting on you to try to have some fun on the side. I wouldn't take it as anything more than him wanting some fun, since he's got a girl and everything.
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Aug 31, 2010 5:27 PM GMT
    He could just be a flirty friend. I've had straight friends that would behave that way... sometimes even in front of the girlfriend...most of the time drunk, but not all of the time. I finally confronted them (keep in mind these incidents were a few years apart). I told them that they were confusing the hell outta me and I needed to know for sure.

    The first just said that he was flirty with females and gay guys all the time, but he was just being playful.... definitely straight.

    The second (years later) said that he was confused. He really loved me as a friend and had never thought about sex with a man, but he admitted that he had been thinking of me sexually. He actually said that he would pay for a sex change operation for me. UGH! I politely told him that the dick stays put! He was definitely confused.

    If you are confused....talk to your friend. Tell him that if he is just being flirty, then that is fine but you need to know for sure.
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Aug 31, 2010 5:29 PM GMT
    GFORCE saidOK, here we go again...icon_rolleyes.gif

    Find a real man. The only reason he's giving you his attention is because you're responding; and it's stroking his ego!!!

    WHO CARES WHAT HE WANTS?! He wouldn't get it from me, I can tell you that. But then I wouldn't put up with his shit so it would have stopped the minute it started.

    I'm not here on this earth as some form of entertainment for "Srt8" men who don't have large enough balls to ask for what they really want.


    This too!!!
  • MikemikeMike

    Posts: 6932

    Aug 31, 2010 5:31 PM GMT
    If he knows you're gay that could be your answer right there. He knows you eat that shit up.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 6:14 PM GMT
    (Please pardon the following misogyny)

    You know what gay dudes like? Balls.
    You know what gay dudes don't like? Pussy.

    So stop being a pussy, grow a pair of balls, and just ask the mother fucker already. You don't need two identical threads to give you more of the same advice.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 6:32 PM GMT
    Playing around with closet cases with girlfriends is going to leave you very frustrated and possibly bitter. He needs to be honest with himself and his girlfriend. You need to be honest with him also, come out to him.

    Move on to out gay men who can give you affection back openly and freely when they aren't drunk. Come out of the closet yourself if you're not out already, the sooner the better. You owe it to yourself and it makes attracting out gay men easier.
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    Aug 31, 2010 7:58 PM GMT
    I’m going to guess that you are not out. Do you want to resolve this dilemma? Come out!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 9:38 PM GMT
    Unless you like the ambiguity and drama of a guy who plays games, let it go. Tell him he's being inappropriate when he says/does stuff. Otherwise, be prepared for a lot more confusion. Guys who are unsure or curious do a lot of weird stuff. IMO if you want a real man, find one that's not using others to figure out who/what he is.
  • Leo123

    Posts: 126

    Aug 31, 2010 10:06 PM GMT
    RudeMech saidUnless you like the ambiguity and drama of a guy who plays games, let it go. Tell him he's being inappropriate when he says/does stuff. Otherwise, be prepared for a lot more confusion. Guys who are unsure or curious do a lot of weird stuff. IMO if you want a real man, find one that's not using others to figure out who/what he is.


    I like this answer.
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    Aug 31, 2010 10:12 PM GMT
    sashaman saidCould be that he is curious and wants to
    experiment and is testing the waters with you. Also, it could be he just likes messing with your mind.


    In which case, he is definitely winning.
  • Erock11

    Posts: 12

    Aug 31, 2010 10:20 PM GMT
    thats so strange, and I can only imagine how awkward and confusing it is for you. I say when u both are a lil inebriated (and alone) do something flirty back to him and see where it goes from there. You'll see.
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    Aug 31, 2010 10:36 PM GMT
    Yes he wants to have sex with you! Pretty simple happened to me before. But he wants you to take the lead, because he doesn't have the balls to just say it directly. Just get him alone some night, start in on him and show him how it's done!
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    Aug 31, 2010 10:40 PM GMT
    so??? Go for iticon_cool.gif
  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Aug 31, 2010 10:59 PM GMT
    I had a similar issue some years back... and that type of guys don't care from whom they are getting attention. It can be a girl or a guy and they enjoy it.

    My advice is: be careful... If he has a girlfriend and he says all those things he is "playing" with you. I wouldn't say he is playing in a bad sense... but he is probably having fun watching you and he knows you have a crush on him.

    If you keep on searching for signals you will end hurt cause unfortunately he won't cross the line if you know what I mean... and if he crosses the line, you will end hurt too cause he is not looking for a relationship with you. I know it's hard and horrible what I'm saying but It's healthier if you keep away from him for while until you stop having feelings...
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    Aug 31, 2010 11:14 PM GMT
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  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    Are you in the closet?
    Could it be that he's possibly trying to out you if your not out yet ?
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2010 12:56 AM GMT
    Even if he's secretly gay, it could still take years before he's drunk enough or brave enough to make a move. This is why straight guys have a hard time being friends with girls that they're attracted to. Just gonna make yourself more miserable the more you go outta your way to contact him.