Just need advice

  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Aug 31, 2010 7:47 PM GMT
    I saw this kid a few times and really started to like him. He was the first person I have ever dated, but recently he gave me the "let's just be friends for now because I don't know what I want" line. I agree with him that it's for the best since I'm leaving the country really soon, but now I think he's started to see a mutual friend of ours which sort of hurts me because this kid I was dating he said he liked me and just wanted to wait until I was back in the country for us to try being together

    ...I haven't even left and I think he's already jumped on another train.
    I feel sort of like an idiot and what's worse, this definitely doesn't give me confidence to date again seeing as my first go at it sort of failed pretty quickly!
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    Aug 31, 2010 8:04 PM GMT
    fizzle saidI feel sort of like an idiot and what's worse, this definitely doesn't give me confidence to date again seeing as my first go at it sort of failed pretty quickly!

    ummm... you need to get your terms sorted out. Dates don't fail, they merely don't develop. That is the purpose of dates -- to sample, to try out, and decide. A date you determine is not the one is not a fail -- it's actually a success, because you've eliminated him from your list and can move on. The first purpose of a date is to DECIDE. If you decide, one way or the other, you have met that purpose. You have therefore not failed.

    You will have many dates (I hope), and many of them will go nowhere. That is normal. Straight guys face the same thing with women -- we gays are no different.

    Dating is all about sampling. That's what you're both doing. I use the fishing analogy all the time here: you drop bait dozens of times, and nothing happens. Sometimes you get nibbles, but fail to hook anything. Then you hook something and haul it in, and find it's not a keeper. Only every now & then do you hook a keeper, and who can predict when that will happen?

    Be a fisherman. Patience and persistence will serve you best. The good fisherman knows you have to drop bait without stop. Because the fish will not jump into your lap on their own, and when you stop trying, it's time to go home empty-handed.
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    Aug 31, 2010 8:24 PM GMT
    **HUGS**

    Were all idiots…till, were not…move on