LittleDudeWithMuscles said The alcoholism was only one of their many issues. . . all of them were amazingly nasty, abusive and bitter.
alcohol turns people into nasty, abusive and bitter creatures - that's what the drug does unfortunately. sorry to hear you had that experience.
now that i'm approaching 'older' myself at 39 i do find a remarkable number of my peers have lost their spontaneity, even friends from college who used to understand F-U-N and who know better. they tend to frown on people who have impromptu snowball fights or get the giggles at dinner in a restaurant, because they have become.... responsible. BORING!
fortunately, i have made friends, both straight and gay over the years, in their 60s and even 70s who still know how to have snowball fights and a good laugh over dinner. they also know about those rare things called 'conversation' and 'manners' and are a true treasure troves of information about museums, travel, the arts, furnishings, fashions, and how to throw an actual dinner party complete with games; from a time when people actually cultivated such things. they know everything, and i mean EVERYTHING sweetheart ;-), about local and regional business networks and political players. my life has become immeasurably richer from these friendships.
unfortunately, i find a lot of guys even my age, not to mention those who younger, are uncomfortable with and shun anyone who is 'too old for the scene', even if it's just THEIR scene. this shunning turns off a lot of older guys and gals who would LOVE to mentor and role model for younger generations.
i find that a lot of guys my age and younger tend to view being gay as just a way of getting laid or partying at a type of disco and are disturbingly ignorant of the very rich and diverse history, culture and political clout they inherit: from the Greeks to Michelangelo to Oscar Wilde, through the Bauhaus and 20th Century New York City and San Francisco to the present.
as the experience of the Bauhaus under the nazis teach us, or the flourishing, nearly MAINSTREAM 1920s new york city gay scene under the depression (to pick just two of too many examples) complacency is dangerous, gay political rights and social freedoms require constant work and diligence.
So if, years and years from now, some old coot unexpectly bofs you in the back of the head with a snowball, it just might be me. I hope you throw one back. just be warned, i reload fast and have got really good aim.