I need your opinion

  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Aug 31, 2010 10:50 PM GMT
    I'm 27, he is 24 and we work in the same place. He is very distrustful. If I have break and I don't tell him what I'm gonna do, then text messages start asking about anything... and then he gets upset all of a sudden. He imagines things in his mind and asks me all the time if I'm ok... I like he worries about me, but I feel like he is very possessive. He needs to know what I'm doing all the time.

    We've already had several fights regarding that, and now we just split. Somehow I feel ok, but also I feel bad cause he was sweet and he really cared about me. But on the other hand he had such an imagination that I felt like he thought I was cheating on him...

    should I be patient? should I just leave him? to be honest I don't feel like I LOVE him, I just care about him, but he just built a wall of distrust that I feel we won't be able to make it.

    thanks in advance...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Aug 31, 2010 11:28 PM GMT
    Easy answer: He's a control freak and good riddance

    longer answer: Why is he such a control-freak? If his explanations make sense, try to work with him on how you can gain his trust and boost his confidence in the relationship.

    Another easy answer: If his distrust is justified, he's better of without you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2010 1:45 AM GMT
    You don't love him. Move on.

    Your love isn't a sort of social security that has to always be there for people when they need it.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 01, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    Did you do anything to make him lose trust in you?
  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Sep 01, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    No, I didnt do anything. Anything at all.

    for example... I don't use facebook anymore cause I think it's useless and I don't like it that much. I told him so and I deactivated the account, but then he was checking out if I deactivated it for sure by checking a group I joined and he started a fight saying I didn't deactivated it completely and that I was lieing to him, and I told him I don't like facebook in the 1st place, so he didn't believe me! I've never given him reasons for his distrust...

    He is constantly texting me, even when I go on break at work... I feel like he is testing me, to verify if I'm doing something wrong... AT WORK!

    I feel like I was never able to love him because he was constantly questioning me...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2010 2:15 AM GMT
    major control freak. Get out now. Run!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2010 2:19 AM GMT
    Stin7 said I need your opinion


    Okay. Simple and easy to understand-


    Don't fuck your coworkers.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    DUMP HIM! HE'S DANGEROUS!!
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Sep 02, 2010 3:08 AM GMT
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 02, 2010 3:17 AM GMT
    Stin7 saidI told him so and I deactivated the account, but then he was checking out if I deactivated it for sure...

    Checking you? Major fail. End this now, total control freak.
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    Sep 04, 2010 2:59 AM GMT
    He does seem a bit possessive and perhaps jealous. You should discuss it with him. Nonetheless, I think the biggest risk you have is that he WORKS with you. That's a total "no, absolutely not!" in my book. If you both were to break up, anything is possible and in certain scenarios, it may jeopardize your career. Tread carefully.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 6:40 AM GMT
    He's treating you like a possession. Just RUN.

    My ex was the same way, and it got finally bad enough that I will probably never talk to him again.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 10:48 AM GMT
    Don't waste your time bro, like everyone else is saying this guy's way too possessive. Sometimes its a godd thing but the way your putting it across, this guy sounds like nothing but trouble. I'm sure you can find someone better in the future
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    Sep 04, 2010 10:58 AM GMT
    I have to agree with most that you are better off without him.

    HOWEVER...this co-worker, is he a subordinate? If so, I would do everything to get him into a different position. If he is not a subordinate, then I would try to stay friends with him at least. It's not the smartest to date a co-worker. When I hear it of a subordinate that works for me, I end it for them.
    You know what is said, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

    Now obviously I don't know this person. But many control freaks can be very vindictive when jilted.

    Good luck!
    Cheers,
    Keith
    icon_twisted.gif
  • Kage

    Posts: 707

    Sep 04, 2010 11:05 AM GMT
    Stin7 saidI'm 27, he is 24 and we work in the same place. He is very distrustful. If I have break and I don't tell him what I'm gonna do, then text messages start asking about anything... and then he gets upset all of a sudden. He imagines things in his mind and asks me all the time if I'm ok... I like he worries about me, but I feel like he is very possessive. He needs to know what I'm doing all the time.

    We've already had several fights regarding that, and now we just split. Somehow I feel ok, but also I feel bad cause he was sweet and he really cared about me. But on the other hand he had such an imagination that I felt like he thought I was cheating on him...

    should I be patient? should I just leave him? to be honest I don't feel like I LOVE him, I just care about him, but he just built a wall of distrust that I feel we won't be able to make it.

    thanks in advance...


    You are obviously not that broken up about the breakup.
    Move on, no need to feel guilty.

    However, it is best not to put your cock on the payroll.
    It never ends well.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 11:16 AM GMT
    Tell him mind his own business and move on
  • Geoedward

    Posts: 657

    Sep 04, 2010 11:47 AM GMT
    I agree with this: major control freak. Get out now. Run!
  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Sep 05, 2010 4:05 PM GMT
    Musclequest saidI have to agree with most that you are better off without him.

    HOWEVER...this co-worker, is he a subordinate? If so, I would do everything to get him into a different position. If he is not a subordinate, then I would try to stay friends with him at least. It's not the smartest to date a co-worker. When I hear it of a subordinate that works for me, I end it for them.
    You know what is said, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."

    Now obviously I don't know this person. But many control freaks can be very vindictive when jilted.

    Good luck!
    Cheers,
    Keith
    icon_twisted.gif


    no we are on the same level... we have nothing to do with each other...
  • Stin7

    Posts: 33

    Sep 05, 2010 4:07 PM GMT
    so we broke up.

    Now he sends request to become "friends" on msn and I accepted it once, then I blocked him and he sent a new one again and of course I declined. I'm gonna cut any type of conexion with him... it's so sad, but it's going to be healthier.
  • LuckyGuyKC

    Posts: 2080

    Sep 05, 2010 4:12 PM GMT
    In times of trouble (and they will come) trust and respect are the foundations of any relationship. Also, people who can not trust should often be looking in the mirror.

    You made the right call.

    Keep it civil and follow your head on this one.
  • EricLA

    Posts: 3461

    Sep 05, 2010 4:18 PM GMT
    Sounds like he had bigger issues that he should be dealing with through therapy and possibly medication. I'm guessing you would need a LOT of patience for this relationship. I think you are better off finding someone healthier.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2010 5:01 PM GMT
    Why would you even bother with someone who can't trust you? trust is the most important thing in a relationship, thus if a partner can't provide that why even bother being with that person much less even feel bad for them? the OP seems to be a well adjusted and mature guy so please by all means avoid the insecure and overly possessive types, IT IS A WASTE OF TIME!!!!


    Leandro ♥
  • trl_

    Posts: 994

    Sep 06, 2010 9:08 PM GMT
    It's cute that he cares THAT much for you, but it's probably not healthy for you to be with him if he's that controlling.