doing my first dance party

  • emailaddress

    Posts: 313

    Sep 01, 2010 3:53 PM GMT
    yesterday i decided i would be going to sydney to attend a dance party ALONE in four weeks. in a matter of two hours, I paid for admission and booked airfare. called a friend, he said i can stay, but i am prepared to end up at a sauna for a night. This is the first step i have taken to becoming a hardcore gay man. It is very "not me", and I am a bit anxious about the experience. I know dance parties are definitely not my scene, dancing to loud music in a dark room is a bit silly to me. I am dont dance and i dont even drink, but i think i am going to just go for it and see how it turn out this time. I just hope i dont rock up and look like a dork.
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    Sep 01, 2010 5:02 PM GMT
    emailaddress said... I know dance parties are definitely not my scene, dancing to loud music in a dark room is a bit silly to me. I am dont dance and i dont even drink, but i think i am going to just go for it and see how it turn out this time. I just hope i dont rock up and look like a dork.


    From my experience, dance parties (aka "circuit parties") can be a whole lot of fun if you don't mind being around lots of people who do lots of drugs. I remember my first dance party. It was White Party Viscaya. I went alone. I didn't drink either. Everybody I saw around me seemed to be really happy, energetic, and really into the music. This was before crystal meth was hard on the scene. Ecstasy (X), GHB (G), and Ketamine (K) were the drugs of choice. I saw a few of my friends there and they were having a blast! Most guys didn't have any time for me though. Unless I was with their clique, I wasn't part of their circle. I did meet one guy, he was nice, and he wasn't on drugs. We spent the evening together dancing and talking. He's the one who clued me in on why everybody else seemed to be having a much better time than me. "Oh, they're all rolling!" is what he said. I must have had a confused look on my face because then he added that they were doing X, G, and K. The evening ended early for me that night because I just didn't seem to have the same energy that the other guys had. It was 2am and other guys were talking about the after-hours club, a morning party or going back to their house for a sex party.

    Well, that evening started a personal journey through dance parties, circuit parties, clubbing and such that lasted until September 23rd of the following year when all of a sudden I woke up. I realized that I was wasting my life, my time, my money, my health. I was putting myself in physical, and legal peril. And, there was now more drama, complication and misery in my life than ever before. I decided these parties, the drug fueled environments, the callous attitudes, and use of humans as entertaining but disposable sex toys just wasn't for me.

    Now I'm not saying that these dance parties are bad and that everyone who goes there does drugs and has mindless sex with multiple partners. What I am saying is that from my experience there are more people there who are on drugs, than are not. I am saying that I received a lot of invitations to go home with groups of guys to "party" and mess around, and I accepted a few and saw the outcome.

    So, since you mentioned that "dance parties are definitely not my scene", why in the world are you going???

    If what you're seeking is to meet guys and have some kind of feeling of community, of belonging, then choose your venues carefully. Consider that you can meet guys in other venues doing other things which are generally much more fun and much less dangerous.

    Remember, you become like those who you keep company with. Hang with the winners, and you will be a winner. Hang with the losers, and, well, you know the rest.

    As far as your plans and the money you have already layed out? You can always modify your plans. You can also just scrap them as well. Think of it like planning suicide. You can modify your plans by choosing not to kill yourself today. You can scrap your plans because you can always choose life and do things that people do to truly live.

    Best wishes no matter what you choose!

    Aloha and Be Well!
    Alan

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    Sep 01, 2010 10:24 PM GMT
    I am not a fan of party drugs (or any kind), and I don't dance or like trance music, so these things are not too fun for me. More power to you, just make sure you don't do anything you will regret.
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    Sep 01, 2010 10:49 PM GMT
    I'm so torn here. On one hand I find selfrighteous reformed -anything- tedious ("disposable sex toys? Is it the 1950s again?). I know people who go to the circuit parties in NYC, some of them take E to dance, and they are good, happy, productive, successful people. They came into it with their eyes open, they paid attention, have good instincts, and everything is fine. They are in no way losers. And they even sometime have mindless selx.

    On the other hand I know people who didn't have good instincts, fell in with bad people, took too many drugs, ended up junkies. But you don't have to go to a dance party for that.

    I think, though, that if you don't like dancing then you very probably won't have a good time. And it's true you will be in a group of fucked up people, some of them just happy, some of them complete staggering messes. My experience doing that completely sober was not fun. I was totally disconnected, out of sync. And I like to dance.

    You're all booked and you seem serious so go, watch, and you never know. I would say the important thing to remember is that if you're not having fun then it's probably not because you're a dork, it's because it's not a scene you enjoy. No need to tear it down, it's just a fact. I would say that you should find other things you might enjoy doing if you really aren't having a good time and want to leave so that you have other options.


  • Abc123456

    Posts: 336

    Sep 01, 2010 11:02 PM GMT
    I went to the white party this year. It was my first circuit party. I had a blast. Said concerns are valid...keep your head on straight and be safe.
  • jc_online

    Posts: 487

    Sep 02, 2010 2:20 AM GMT
    You'll be around lots of men.
    You'll be on a holiday.
    You might experiment with any number of things.
    Make choices that you can live with.
    And use condoms.

    Relax and have a good timeicon_exclaim.gif
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    Sep 02, 2010 3:43 AM GMT
    Well, Ive done the raves in Amsterdam, Madrid, Paris, and the Caribbean islands underground parties, wehere everyone was taking E, Ive done so a few times.. Ive often gone alone, sometimes with a friend... and Ive met new people... Ive done so for many years, but Ive not hooked up nor met gay potential partners this way..... I did see gay people there sometimes, but I also saw a lot of straight people there...

    In short, I dont really think this dance is a gay scene thing and ts just like a normal party for me
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    Sep 02, 2010 3:47 AM GMT
    emailaddress saidyesterday i decided i would be going to sydney to attend a dance party ALONE, I just hope i dont rock up and look like a dork.
    icon_eek.gif Have a good time and Rock safely and be careful of dorky predators icon_wink.gif

    [url][/url]

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    Sep 02, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    Gay doesn't always = loud dancing and bath houses and doing X or anything else...
    Those things alone don't define being "hardcore gay" ...they define a party lifestyle of possibly wanton random drugs and partners and ...whatever else happens.....
    We are not all "dancing queens"! If you are committed to this "tryst" as it sounds...keep your eyes and mind open, don't forget to be safe, take protection with you and treat it like a trip to Las Vegas...."What happens in Vegas...STAYS in Vegas!"

    Think of the movie "The Hangover"....http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1119646/
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    Sep 02, 2010 5:03 AM GMT
    emailaddress saidyesterday i decided i would be going to sydney to attend a dance party ALONE in four weeks. in a matter of two hours, I paid for admission and booked airfare. called a friend, he said i can stay, but i am prepared to end up at a sauna for a night. This is the first step i have taken to becoming a hardcore gay man. It is very "not me", and I am a bit anxious about the experience. I know dance parties are definitely not my scene, dancing to loud music in a dark room is a bit silly to me. I am dont dance and i dont even drink, but i think i am going to just go for it and see how it turn out this time. I just hope i dont rock up and look like a dork.
    Nope, that's your first step in experiencing different stuff.
    If you never do it, you can't say you don't like it. icon_biggrin.gif