Would you be a placeholder?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 03, 2010 10:52 PM GMT
    Let's say here's a guy who is everything you could ask for, except that he doesn't want to be emotionally involved with you. He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along. In one word, he's with you for want of other options.

    Would you go into a relationship with this person knowing all this?
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    Sep 03, 2010 11:08 PM GMT
    No because being part of everything I could ask for means being emotionally available.
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    Sep 03, 2010 11:15 PM GMT
    GordonPym saidLet's say here's a guy who is everything you could ask for, except that he doesn't want to be emotionally involved with you. He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along. In one word, he's with you for want of other options.

    Would you go into a relationship with this person knowing all this?


    NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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    Sep 03, 2010 11:17 PM GMT
    GordonPym said He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along.


    This is where my knee forcefully meets his balls.
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    Sep 03, 2010 11:24 PM GMT

    Sure, why not. I really enjoy being used, abused, and disrespected. And it's just not the same if he doesn't dump your ass for somebody better and kick you to the gutter. It's so fuckin romantic. I wish my bf wasn't such a nice, caring guy who loves me unconditionally.

  • OptimusMatt

    Posts: 1124

    Sep 03, 2010 11:25 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    GordonPym said He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along.


    This is where my knee forcefully meets his balls.



    Oh HELLS no

    Kick the trash to the curb darlin, where it belongs.

    Oh, and don't forget the pimp slap baby...sounds like he needs it
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    Sep 03, 2010 11:33 PM GMT
    If he were good looking I would be his "placeholder" for one night and then I would kick HIM to the curb.
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    Sep 04, 2010 1:02 AM GMT
    NOOOOOOOO... unless you consider fuckbuddies a "relationship"... you're bound be bummed out.
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    Sep 04, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    Why would you even consider?

    In the back of your head you might think, maybe he'll come around...but c'mon....he's putting everything out there....HE'S NOT INTERESTED!!!
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    Sep 04, 2010 1:19 AM GMT
    Is this a Koan?
    What is the sound of one hand clapping?
    What did your face look like before your mother was born?

    Could you be in a relationship that isn't a relationship?
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    Sep 04, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    Hell no I wouldn't, but I'm relationship oriented. It's good that he's up front with everything so you know whether or not it something you want to be a part of. Now if you're ultimatly wanting a relationship, have some respect for yourself and move on. If you just want a fb, then maybe it con work for you. As for me I place too much value on myself to let someone use me til they "find some one better." How insulting.

  • Sep 04, 2010 2:32 AM GMT
    nope.

    not only do you have to respect others, but you have to respect yourself, too.
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    Sep 04, 2010 2:37 AM GMT
    is this for real?? is someone really experiencing this right now or this a ruse to see who can post the funniest response??

    being a "placeholder" sounds like the biggest crock of shit on the plant icon_eek.gif

    if your best friend told you to jump off a bridge...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 2:55 AM GMT
    No not even if I were desperate.
  • Kev67

    Posts: 60

    Sep 04, 2010 2:58 AM GMT
    Only if he pays, and then only for an hour.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 3:31 AM GMT
    "User Friendly" -- Marilyn Manson

    Use me when you want to come
    I bled just to have it touched
    When I'm in you I want to die

    User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
    Will you die when you're high
    You'd never die just for me
    She says,
    "I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
    'til somebody better comes along."


    Use me like I was a whore
    Relationships are such a bore
    Delete the ones that you've fucked

    User friendly fucking dopestar obscene
    Will you die when you're high
    You'd never die just for me
    She says,
    "I'm not in love, but I'm gonna fuck you
    'til somebody better comes along."
  • mv03

    Posts: 201

    Sep 04, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    Yeah...I mean that's happened to me. However, he didn't flat out tell me that stuff. If he flat out told me that, then no. At least this guy was honest, even if he is a CUNT! icon_eek.gif
  • tituspullo197...

    Posts: 203

    Sep 04, 2010 4:23 AM GMT
    mv03 saidYeah...I mean that's happened to me. However, he didn't flat out tell me that stuff. If he flat out told me that, then no. At least this guy was honest, even if he is a CUNT! icon_eek.gif


    I would. I would have realistic expectations: I am just his placeholder, and therefore he is also just a placeholder in my life. Most of the guys we date wind up being our placeholders (and we theirs) whether we want to admit that fact or not. At least he's honest.

    This kid above me basically got shit on by somebody who wasn't honest. I've been there. It fucking sucks. If you're honest and you're both adults, you can get something out of it, even if it's only a temporary balm in gilead. And who knows -- maybe he just doesn't know you're his perfect companion and could come to see that in the mean time. The key is honesty. Guys who claim to want one thing and then turn and run the second you reciprocate with what they claim to have wanted in the first place are DOUCHEBAGS.
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    Sep 04, 2010 4:29 AM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    GordonPym said He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along.


    This is where my knee forcefully meets his balls.


    Or where my fist meets his sad little face!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    Emotionally, never

    Physically, sure if i were single

    Would i respect him, no, so i'd probably be prone to treating him like a piece of meat, not respecting him then slowly watch his self esteem die before I were to move on.

    The people that look at others as place holders (in my experience at least) are good at saying that they don't want an emotional attachment, but when you try to free yourself of them, you end up with alot of bitching and moaning and crying about emotions, love and other stuff that always left me confused.
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    Sep 04, 2010 5:09 AM GMT
    Indulging him in that scenario will only reinforce his idea that it's okay to never commit to you in any way. You are better than that, and you can do better than that.
  • Jacob_dane

    Posts: 100

    Sep 04, 2010 7:56 PM GMT
    I've been here before. I don't suggest it. You basically just turn into fuck buddies and that leads to emotional investment on your part which then just leads to being hurt when he's done with you. So, never again
  • owen19832006

    Posts: 1035

    Sep 04, 2010 7:59 PM GMT
    hell no!! im worth so much more!
  • Midas426

    Posts: 965

    Sep 04, 2010 8:10 PM GMT
    DrNY saidEmotionally, never

    Physically, sure if i were single

    Would i respect him, no, so i'd probably be prone to treating him like a piece of meat, not respecting him then slowly watch his self esteem die before I were to move on.

    The people that look at others as place holders (in my experience at least) are good at saying that they don't want an emotional attachment, but when you try to free yourself of them, you end up with alot of bitching and moaning and crying about emotions, love and other stuff that always left me confused.
    THIS! And it's so true about the ones not wanting the emotional attachment most times ending up being the one with all the emotions.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 8:23 PM GMT
    Ciarsolo said
    GordonPym said He tells you that he's seeing you solely for the purpose of maintaining an active dating life, and that he'll leave you the moment "someone better" comes along.


    This is where my knee forcefully meets his balls.


    Dont do that men, women do that, choke him!