"A" List Gays

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 04, 2010 11:11 PM GMT
    This is a follow up to the thread on the new Logo show, The A List: New York.

    The trailer for this show on Logo is cringe-worthy. I probably could not last ten minutes in a social situation with these guys without trying to figure out a way to get the hell out of the room.

    I get the idea of a Hollywood A list in terms of celebrities and their star power/box office draw potential, but how/why does it exist for non Hollywood types?

    Here's are some questions for the forum members. I am trying to figure out how real something like the gay "A" list really is. Is the gay "A" list just an invention by reality tv?

    What is your city?

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?

    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?

    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?

    The whole idea is so strange to me and I honestly couldn't tell you if my city had a gay "A" list which probably means I am not on it icon_biggrin.gif and that's ok with me.

    If the guys on the logo trailer were the "A" list, i would be happy to be on the "Z" list.

    The closest that I have come to even perceving an "A" list was based on two experiences.

    1. A while back there was a guy here on RJ voicing his frustrations with San Francisco and his inability to make friends here. He referenced a large group of guys in the Castro that seemed to represent some sort of clique that was closed to outsiders.

    Could that have been some sort of SF "A" list?

    2. The second instance is based on a friend of mine who thinks a guy who he started seeing, stopped seeing him because he did not make much money and could not keep up with the lifestyle the other guy was living (expensive trips, expensive cars, expensive restaurants most nights of the week etc).

    Is the A list usually about wealth or just the display of wealth?
  • jgymnast733

    Posts: 1783

    Sep 04, 2010 11:59 PM GMT
    Its funny, the A List-ers arent always the rich [ as some might think ], The real A Listers are the masses of artists,photographers,musicians,designers and us folks who love being in their company... Its more of an atmospher of talent connecting and sharing the love.... at least here on the new york scene......I'v been let into some pretty exclusive GiG's just because i looked the part....not on the list and no invitation.....
  • dfrourke

    Posts: 1062

    Sep 05, 2010 8:41 AM GMT


    What is your city?
    SAN FRANCISCO

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?
    I'M CERTAIN IT DOES

    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?
    I WOULD ASSUME IT IS BUILT AROUND TWO FUNDAMENTAL THINGS: [1] MONEY AND [2] POLITICS

    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?
    SF IS KNOWN FOR ITS CRAZY POLITICAL NATURE

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?
    OH GOD, NO...I WOULDN'T DREAM TO THINK SO AND IT IS NOT A GOAL FOR ME

    - David icon_wink.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:39 AM GMT
    I think the idea of a gay A list is invented by the people who then decide that they and their friends are on it. For the most part the people who aren't part of it neither know about it nor care about it. Big cities probably have several such groups, each convinced it's the only one or the real one.
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    Sep 05, 2010 12:25 PM GMT
    I spent a great deal of time in South Florida (in and around Palm Beach), and when I first got there I could not wait to be part of that crowd. They all had money, drove fancy cars, threw amazing parties, dressed to the nines, and had huge houses.

    A few years later I ended up in a "relationship" with one of them, and soon I could not wait to get as far away as possible. For the most part they were all self important, back stabbing, vile/evil fags. They would talk about whoever was not at the party like a dog, then double cheek air kiss them the next time they saw the person they were talking about.

    Palm Beach county is filled with people like this (both gay and straight). Because they have money it means (in their mind) that they are much more important...and must tell each other how fabulous they are constantly, then drive the dagger deep as soon as they turn around.

    No...I'm thankfully not part of the "A" list, because "A" list to me means Asshole List.
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    Sep 05, 2010 12:33 PM GMT
    Sounds exactly like the Caribbean, o what the hey, the Southern US and Florida have the same history as the Caribbean... fancy that icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 12:36 PM GMT

    What is your city?

    Willemstad (Curacao, Dutch West Indies)

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?

    HELL to the no, we all be "marikus" or "battymen" (fags) here, man

    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?

    Whos the hottest perhaps?


    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?

    Hot and full of themselves? Just like our hot women are???

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?

    Whose? Mine or theirs??


    I actually filled this in.. I think I need to get motivated to get my ass back to work right about now
  • HndsmKansan

    Posts: 16311

    Sep 05, 2010 12:54 PM GMT
    In a medium sized city like Wichita, there is a "gay community", but I've had several people comment to me that it is kind of a mess (including my bf, who believes it isn't as credible as other cities, but most of which are larger).

    There probably is an "A" list in many perceptions here, but what and who composes that list is different.

    I have an older friend who once told me that I would be the epitome of an "A lister" and gave me the reasoning why. Then he explained since I'm not concerned about some of the points a typical "A lister" would be, it would nearly disqualify me from the list. I just laughed at the whole conversation.

    The reality is, many "A listers" are into social position and base their behavior on others perceptions of them as an A lister. I do what the hell I want to do
    and friend those who I want to friend, rich or poor, educated or not.
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    Sep 05, 2010 1:02 PM GMT
    I live in Ft Lauderdale and oh yes there is an A list

    Some of it has to do with money.. there is a boatload of people with million dollar homes and lots to spend it on. Our bar rags, famous or infamous have the same bodies and faces in them every week.

    But some of it does fall on some of the people that do community work. We have 75 GLBT non profits in the city and aren't necessarily the wealthy ones. When I was board chair of one of the non profits my pic was in the paper almost weekly at events. Some thought that put me on some A list. eh? not really.

    I used to live in the Midwest and the only difference between A lists in FL and Kansas City area is that it was NOT accepted to be a crystal queen and whore around up north while down here it is no big deal.



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    Sep 05, 2010 1:08 PM GMT
    Fort Lauderdale definitely has a gay A-list, perhaps several. The one I know best consists of gays who are prominent in the newspapers & other media for various reputable reasons, and others who are in their social circle. It's almost exclusively professional, heavily moneyed, but not exclusively. It helps to have a large, lovely home in which you do frequent entertaining, and most are long-term couples.

    It's easy to join it, if you socialize well. Many are gay politicians or their supporters, so you attend a fundraiser for them. Also fundraisers for gay charities, as receptions, shows, concerts & galas. Your local gay rags & online will announce them, at least in bigger cities. Or nominally straight fund raisers for the arts, and museum exhibit openings, which are typically heavily attended by gays.

    Once you start being seen and recognized things really take off, a social chain reaction, and soon you're getting direct invites to all kinds of functions. It isn't all about money, to my observation, but A-listers do tend to be achievers in other ways. I've also never seen drugs among them, nor heavy drinking. But I'm sure there's a younger and more entertainment-oriented A-list than the one I know, which is primarily professional and more suit & tie.
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    Sep 05, 2010 1:37 PM GMT
    What is your city?

    SAN ANTONIO, TX YEEHAW!

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?

    NOT REALLY "A" LIST, BUT IT SEEMS AT THE CLUB THERE IS AN ELITE OF OLDER GENTLEMEN WHO ARE WIDELY KNOWN BECAUSE THEYRE ALWAYS HELPING OUT AND HOSTING EVENTS FOR CHARITIES

    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?

    WELL I DEFINE IT AS THE GAY GUYS PEOPLE KNOW OF AND THE ONES THAT ARE ALWAYS HOSTING THE EVENTS

    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?

    MY CITY DOESNT HAVE VERY MANY HOT GUYS, THEYRE ALL MEXICAN AND OVER WEIGHT (AND I IF I DONT WATCH IT ILL BE TOO)

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?

    I AM HARDLY A-LIST, I'M NOT A REGULAR AT THE BARS / CLUBS. I KNOW ALOT OF GUYS IN MY CITY CUZ IVE ALWAYS LIKED TO HELP OUT AT THE AIDS FOUNDATIONS AND STUFF BUT I'M ALWAYS AT THE RIVER.
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    Sep 05, 2010 1:47 PM GMT
    amar_m saidSounds exactly like the Caribbean, o what the hey, the Southern US and Florida have the same history as the Caribbean... fancy that icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Sounds like which part of the Caribbean?

    I've spent lots of time in Barbados, Trinidad, St. Maarten, St. Kitts and St. Lucia and Anguilla and sounds like nothing I've ever experienced on any of those islands.

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    Sep 05, 2010 2:08 PM GMT
    I live in Tampa which sure isn't NYC or even Miami/South Florida. Even still, this post reminded me of a couple of weeks ago when I went to a club where a friend, who is a club promotor, was promoting a tea dance. He introduced my partner and me to another couple there and mentioned how he was so happy they came to the club because they were "A list". And he wasn't joking; he used the "A list" term in all seriousness! Well, both of the guys were very good looking and probably in their late twenties.

    I also have another friend, an attorney, who is a bit on the pretentious side, that has made reference to being invited to nor not invited to parties for the "A list". The guys he refers to as "A list" all tend to be in their forties or fifties with a lot of money, or maybe just in a lot of debt, with penthouse condominiums or waterfront homes and who tend to throw a lot of parties where they show off their latest toys. I asked my friend jokingly which list I was on and he said, seriously, the "B list"!

    So I guess to be on the "A list" in Tampa you either have to be in your twenties and beautiful or, if you're over thirty, you better have lots of money and toys with which to impress your "friends".
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    Sep 05, 2010 2:11 PM GMT
    Blackguy4you said
    amar_m saidSounds exactly like the Caribbean, o what the hey, the Southern US and Florida have the same history as the Caribbean... fancy that icon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gificon_biggrin.gif


    Sounds like which part of the Caribbean?

    I've spent lots of time in Barbados, Trinidad, St. Maarten, St. Kitts and St. Lucia and Anguilla and sounds like nothing I've ever experienced on any of those islands.



    ST MAARTEN ST KITTS????

    LMAO Im sorry but half my siblings grew up there, in fact, one of my siblings is from an actual St Maarten indigneous family, been there from before the Europeans arrived lol

    i think you should ve hung with us locals first lol

    Ive personally experienced more nasty talk among the locals about me in St maarten and St kitts than in all the rest of the world PUT TOGETHER!!!

    And EVERY island has it, its just the smaller, the worse it is (more people diffuse the possibility of nasty-talk)
  • GQjock

    Posts: 11649

    Sep 05, 2010 2:26 PM GMT
    Every city has it's "A" List of men

    and it deals with money, who ya know and dick know how
    and it's fun to hang with them for a while
    but it gets to be a drag ... in the true sense of the word

    You have to know who to talk to what to wear where to go and who you sleep with
    Sorry .... too old for that anymore
    I got a full time job icon_cool.gif

    If you wanna hang with them hang ... just don't make it your life's work
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    Sep 05, 2010 2:35 PM GMT
    And for the record Blackguy4U, im not innocent of the "nice t the face look", its practically politically incorrect to tell someone something straight to their face in the Caribbean, no matter how much I hate someone, I will ALWAYS pull out the biggest smile I can when I meet them here, and the friendliest tone of voice, and you would think I ADORE you..... Im not one for talking behind their backs, im the type to just forget about you and ignore you, and but I've heard some things being said about people, and been told some stories people said about me, its an inevitable part of life here...

    Man I sound like an old Caribbean woman now mhmmmmm..... pana!!!! Mi gon go liv you widis now, mi no wan tak aboud al diss mele ting nuh, innaogood boy, dis nastiness nuh!!



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    Sep 05, 2010 2:48 PM GMT
    For all A-listers, thanks to Muscle, Blackguy4U, and 40PPS

    One of the Caribbean traditions we have in common with the Southern US, is the African tradition of putting criticism of common social ills to rhythmic music which is deceptively happy and joyful ... this is the origins of BLUES and HIPHOP in the US and of REGGAE and SKA in Jamaica... it serves a form of social and political criticism of society, kept alive as a complaint about the ills of slavery throughout the European colonies in the Americas

    In Curacao, ths tradition gave rise to the TAMBU music, and its sung in Portuguese Creole... the following is my all-time favourite TAMBU song and the text is loosely translated as follows:

    "I don't wanna hear anything being said when I'm not there
    You're not brave enough to tell me
    If you have something to say, here I am!
    Here I am!
    I'm waiting for you
    Come tell it to my face
    Come straight to me
    Dont say it behind me back
    Come say it to my face"




    TAKE THAT!! A-LISTERS!!! MWUHAHAHAHAAA!!! icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 2:54 PM GMT
    What is your city?
    New York City

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?

    According to LOGO's definition, I suppose, but the A list in this definition is just some cunty mirage of exclusivity. I wouldn't give these guys the time of day.


    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?

    So, I think the A list must really about being flashy and trashy, it is those that usually have something to prove that are really broke and powerless and the one thing that I believe the truly wealthy and powerful want is confidentiality, privacy, and freedom from what this "A list" implies. If you had a billion dollars, would you really care if you were wearing Gucci? Seriously folks, If you have to demonstrate it, it probably isn't true.

    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?

    IMO and in my experience time and time again, (in ANY city, most who are wealthy and influential are some of the nicest people and can be quite boring, unassuming, and look for less complex lives (simplicity).

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?

    In context, no, and thank G_d. What you would probably find with these guys is a mountain of debt hiding behind a facade of a luxurious lifestyle and a string of legal troubles and ill will. It's all smoke and mirrors. No offense to the creators of the show, I am sure that it will make for great entertainment






  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2010 3:19 PM GMT
    xuaerb said cunty mirage of exclusivity


    That would make a great band name!
  • mybud

    Posts: 11837

    Sep 05, 2010 3:26 PM GMT
    dfrourke said

    What is your city?
    SAN FRANCISCO

    Does your city have a gay "A" list?
    I'M CERTAIN IT DOES

    How is the gay "A" list defined in your city?
    I WOULD ASSUME IT IS BUILT AROUND TWO FUNDAMENTAL THINGS: [1] MONEY AND [2] POLITICS

    What are the characteristics of the guys on the gay "A" list in your city?
    SF IS KNOWN FOR ITS CRAZY POLITICAL NATURE

    Do you think you are on the gay "A" list?
    OH GOD, NO...I WOULDN'T DREAM TO THINK SO AND IT IS NOT A GOAL FOR ME

    - David icon_wink.gif


    Dude If your not on a A list....there's no justice in this world or the next....just sayin......BUD
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    Sep 05, 2010 3:39 PM GMT
    I find this discussion not unlike one about gay bars -- are they cruisey pits, or places where you can socialize decently? I take from places & situations what I want from them, and that goes for A-lists as well as for gay bars. Plus I must add, I really do get a sense of envy by some here.

    But a personal story, that partly validates what some are saying: Back in the late 1960s I got invited by my best friend to the family home of one of his own circle of friends from his home town, some miles from mine. They were upper middle class, the suburban country club set. All guys, but not so far as I know gay, our ages all about 19 or 20, their parents definitely A-list in that community.

    I tried to be outgoing & friendly, and complimentary of our host. But this was also my "blue-collar" period when I liked to wear heavy-duty work shirts & work boots, not the preppy clothes the others had that night.

    A day or so later I saw my friend and told him how much I had enjoyed myself, and hoped I'd get another invite. Well, I wouldn't, he bluntly told me. They found me coarse & obnoxious, and he got criticized for bringing me along and "spoiling" the evening. You can imagine my feelings.

    But later, I don't know if through him or from another source, some of them learned who my family was, the money we had, the country club to which we belonged in the next county. And suddenly everything changed. Now I started getting invites from them directly. I went from obnoxious when they thought me blue-collar, to A-list when they thought me wealthy.

    But not all of them felt that way, and I continued to be ostracized by some. I ignored their invites, BTW, except for one who owned a classic car collection that interested me (He used to rent them for movie productions, his cars prominent in The Way We Were, for instance, some of which I drove myself).

    I believe more than an A-list alone, what I really ran into there was a clique, which is not always the same thing. And I think that needs to be remembered here and better defined. To me an A-list is simply who gets the best invites, who goes to the best functions, who are the movers & shakers, the prominent people in the community. The rest of this stuff here about evaluating these people in their personal lives if just editorializing, and possibly some sour grapes.
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    Sep 05, 2010 3:41 PM GMT
    I can't quite recall the trifecta for guaranteed admission; was it money, muscles and professional success (NY?) or money, muscles and beauty (LA?).
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    Sep 05, 2010 3:52 PM GMT
    eagermuscle saidThanks! Kindly note alternate definition from http://encarta.msn.com/dictionary_1861721853/trifecta.html

    I deleted my post, wasn't really aimed at you, but others who might not know about a trifecta as a racing term. I decided that was a silly gesture and my purpose unclear, but you were replying while I was deleting. icon_redface.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:19 PM GMT
    I AM the A List in my state.
    Of course, my state is the state of confusion.
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:24 PM GMT
    can we make an "A List" for RJ?