How many get 'attitude' or 'dirty looks' from people based on your body?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 1:28 PM GMT
    This maybe sounds conceited, but do you guys sometimes get 'attitude' from people, based solely on how in shape you are (envy)?

    I get it sometimes, especially after guys ask me how long I have been working out for. When I tell them for several years, they get this look of disappointment, since they expect your results...overnight!!
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    Feb 02, 2007 4:46 PM GMT
    Let them think about it! Nobody pays my bills...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 6:17 PM GMT
    LOL - too funny... I know exactly what you're talking about.

    I find that there are different types... some just feel threatened, especially if you have a similar look (i find this with guys around my age)... the side of the coin are guys who are somewhat older, still hot though, but when reminded they are approaching a certain age and all they have is their fading looks to offer - - evil jealous eye all the way!!

    still i find this to be a rare occurance.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 02, 2007 10:55 PM GMT
    Couldn't agree with you more marllus.
    "Till you pay my bills, my telephone bills, my automo'bills then maybe we can chill... but I don't think you do... so... who cares?

    Mike you should accept them as compliments, that's how I take them... and besides like Oscar Wilde once said "The worst thing about being talked about is not being talked about at all."
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    Feb 03, 2007 1:41 AM GMT
    I dunno about dirty looks about my body, but I get free bird seed when I run around in shorts ..
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 03, 2007 2:45 PM GMT
    I get it all the time but I tend to ignore it-even at work.
    I have worked very hard to build muscle- and guess what it takes YEARS to really see the results.
    Most want the quick fix- it ain't going to happen...
    Ric
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    Feb 03, 2007 5:01 PM GMT
    Some men assume that you are arrogant and narcissistic because you take care of yourself- that is just the way it is. Men who are secure in who they are, mentally and physically are more likely to appreciate you for who you are. Insecurity is not attractive, muscles or not.
  • DrStorm

    Posts: 185

    Feb 03, 2007 5:01 PM GMT
    Love this topic! I am South African, been in the US now 11.5 years...I would love to add some of my perceptions to this question based on me being a foreigner in the US.

    Being blonde/blue with a "buff" body in this country equates to me being perceived as "dumb" in this country. Fellow countrymen have had the same experience in the US. I always am tickled pink when people go "you also have a PHD?" like it's mutually EXCLUSIVE to be buff AND intelligent in the USA!

    This is so NOT the perception in South Africa where most white people have college degrees in one form or the other so it is EXPECTED that you are intelligent, whether you are buff or not!

    As I've said in previous posts to related topics, if that person does NOT take the time and effort to actually find out who you really are, well, it's their LOSS, not yours and I really don't give a rat's ass about them.

    PEACE!
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    Feb 03, 2007 5:26 PM GMT
    All the time.
    Especailly once you get into sharing workout routines and info. I hate how competitive men want to be all the time!
  • art_smass

    Posts: 960

    Feb 03, 2007 5:37 PM GMT
    I was thinking about this topic the other day as I was gazing across the very large workout center in my gym. I noticed a guy staring at me -- or at least I thought he was staring at me. Then I thought to myself "Well, if my eyes aren't good enough to know that he's staring at me, I probably shouldn't assume that his eyes are good enough to be checking me out from that far away."

    It's too easy to attribute motives to other people's actions. I catch myself staring at people in between sets because there's nothing else interesting in my sightline. I'm sure I'm no different than anyone else.
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    Feb 04, 2007 12:16 AM GMT
    I get it from professors. I'm doing my doctorate and professors feel that taking care of one's body and concentrating on school work are mutually exclusive. I either get dirty looks or patronizing glances of "don't worry, at least you have something to fall back on when you drop out of the program" type.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 05, 2007 12:04 AM GMT
    I just hate it when guys think that I have attained a muscular, healthy body through "genetics" rather than hard work

    If their envious, then I tell them they can get themselves into a gym, workout four or five days a week, do the cardio work on off-gym days, restrict their diet to healthy food and cut out the snacks and junk food.

    That fantasy that a fit, toned, healthy body doesn't require hard work soon fades once I tell these guys what I do to stay in shape.

    It's a choice that you make - do it and be proud of the result of your hard work, or choose not to do it, be unhappy with your physical condition and jealous of others who have attained better.
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    Feb 06, 2007 4:12 AM GMT
    cronk:

    Certain bodyparts on some people are genetic....like my butt, i was "blessed" with more muscle in my butt...just don't have it in my chest.
    But my over all fitness is hard work, diet and sleep.
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    Feb 06, 2007 6:11 AM GMT
    I have gotten attitudes before, but its NEVER because of my body... lol I wish!!! I am working on it though... lol

    But I also think that you can never know what the other person is thinking. What you may interpret as a dirty look, may just be someone looking at you like... gott dayum he is hot.

    I once thought this guy was checking me out because he appeared to be squinting and looking at me for a long time. I approached him and turns out that he was only squinting because didnt wear his glasses into the club... lol I misinterpreted his looks, but he was glad I approached him anyway, so it was a happy ending. But the moral is, you never know what is in the other persons head and you could be projecting.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 06, 2007 10:51 PM GMT
    Hey leanathleticdc:

    Yeah, I get ya - certain body parts respond better due to your genetics (like my triceps) but overall, a fit toned body takes hard work and dedication.

    That's all I meant.
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    Feb 06, 2007 11:01 PM GMT
    "...I want it all, and I want it all now, the pecs, the six pack, the apollo's belt and I don't want to work to get it. Not only that, if I don't have it, and you do...you owe it to me to be my playmate, because it is all about me, me, me, me, and what you want doesn't matter...."

    Yes, slackers like this are even on this website. Just look at the guys who have looked at your profile...who DON'T have pictures (not all, I know, but most, probably)...

    I agree with you, cronk, and with leanathleticdc...I know how hard you guys work at it...

    John
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    Feb 08, 2007 9:48 PM GMT
    Well, I'm hardly in that category with some of you guys, but I've experienced some of this.

    That grad school thing: There was no "hinting" about it. The dean caught me looking out the window of the lab on a sunny day and told me basically "that part of your life is over now." If I wasn't in class, I was supposed to be in the lab. Always. Eventually, I switched to a lab where the prof was an ultramarathon runner. (Not really for that reason.) A bit more understanding there.

    On line, I keep getting propositioned by really sloppy fat guys. I try to decline politely and generically. Some of them get really belligerent and demand to know exactly why I don't want to have sex with them. It kind of stretches the bounds of politeness.
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    Feb 11, 2007 7:25 AM GMT
    I dont get much of that at all from others, mostly compliments which Im always happy to hear...Its not all i how u look,,,,,,,,,its how you carry yourself and present your self to others.......Im slim,,,,most of my friends are body builders and always exspect me to be me
  • craigindc

    Posts: 30

    Feb 13, 2007 8:24 PM GMT
    I have never directly gotten attitude or dirty looks. But I have read, on forums or in the gay paper, lots of comments generalizing and labeling all gym guys as steroid users, dumb, no personality, stuck up...goes on and on. For some reason some guys want to tear down and make assumptions. Lump everyone together, not recognizing that within the gym, you will still have a wide range of personalities, just as in any other group...and yes, some seem to either think it takes steroids and genetics(won't acknowledge hard work), or if they do acknowledge the hard work they insinuate that we must not have any other interests in our lives. I don't understand the need to label, accuse and assume about people you don't even know...not just with this issue, but others also.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Feb 13, 2007 10:20 PM GMT
    Constantly.

    Sometimes, I even get hate mail.

    People are weird.
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    Mar 04, 2007 3:51 PM GMT
    I like the word used all the time -- Unapproachable --- gee, sometimes YOU need to make the first move!

    I recently trained with a gay friend of mine who kept telling me all these guys are checking me out at the gym and want to sleep with me -- NOT TRUE!

    Yes, they do check out the muscle, but ENVY is awesome MOTIVATION to gain more and more MASS --

    I have on several occassions over heard "he is juiced up big time" ... funny, eating 1000 calories a day and getting ripped makes you look bigger than you really are .... I am hungry as hell and NO JUICE (I just take has a compliment) ..

    SMILE and PUMP EVEN MORE, especially at my AGE (Does your DAD look like this? - my famous statement) ... LOL
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2007 5:12 PM GMT
    I'm hot, why shouldn't people be envious. Bring on the dirty looks ..... I'm secure with myself, therefore, it doesn't bother me. WORD!
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    Mar 04, 2007 5:55 PM GMT
    I've been in gyms since I was 5. (It was mom's idea of daycare.)

    While I'm sure envy of guys with great bodies occurs -- I'm sure because I've envied quite a few myself -- I think it's marginal compared to the media-driven contempt of gay men who are out of shape.

    I've been in very good shape almost all my life. But when I was finishing one of my degrees, getting to the gym became almost impossible, plus I was on a medication famous for causing weight gain. I gained about 15/20 unwanted lbs. I was astounded at the difference with which I was treated in a general way by other gay men (and regardless of their own shape). I basically became invisible.

    That was 15 years ago and lasted for two years at the most. But it's the way nearly everyone remembers me. In retrospect, I'm glad I had the experience. It keeps me from taking my appearance very seriously and, of course, reminds me that I will become invisible again with age.


  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Mar 04, 2007 6:05 PM GMT
    DrStorm and Muscleprick are so on. I get the "dumb jock" thing all the time.

    They're stunned when they find out I do have a brain and am highly educated.

    They look at me and assume roids. I don't do them. Envy.....
  • christomax

    Posts: 30

    Mar 23, 2007 11:01 PM GMT
    I'm completely oblivious to the people around me, so I wouldn't be able to say one way or the other.