Text from Last night RealJock edition

  • Moonraker

    Posts: 110

    Sep 05, 2010 5:37 PM GMT
    So if ya get a funny text (from last night) post them here.

    (405) How's the butt problem

    (91icon_cool.gif Feels better. They got all the stuff out of it, but i can't sit or work out for 10 days.


    icon_idea.gif I don't think there has been a tread like this before, or at least not recently, if there are 10000000s then i'm sorry. icon_lol.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2010 6:48 PM GMT
    "you're not very talkative with me"

    "dude, after i dropped u off i went home and my nieghbors were partying it up, i went to bed and its now noon the next day and they're still partying...they must be mexican"

    "Yeah i was the shot boy, i was in work mode, you shouldve grabbed me"

    its actually a perfect time for this thread cuz last night was the first time in like 6 months that i went out.
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:20 PM GMT
    (+34) I just spent 15 minutes looking for my bedroom door...I was feeling around the door frame, and I finally found a knob in the middle, I opened it and fell into my closet, thats when I realised I had been in my room the whole time.
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:30 PM GMT
    From last night?

    (727) "So maybe we should hook up, since you wanna be single. Lolol"
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:40 PM GMT
    This is a text I sent to one of my friends:

    (989) McDonald's declined my debit card today. I'm now looking up at rock bottom.
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:45 PM GMT
    "Wanna bang?"

    "Wtf? I hope you're fucking joking, I'm your cousin"

    "Disregard last message, drunk slut stole my phone, you were the first guy on my contacts list"
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    Sep 05, 2010 7:53 PM GMT
    MikeAP35 said"Wanna bang?"

    "Wtf? I hope you're fucking joking, I'm your cousin"

    "Disregard last message, drunk slut stole my phone, you were the first guy on my contacts list"



    0.0 Thanks for making my day.hahaha Best text so far
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    Sep 05, 2010 8:06 PM GMT
    friend: "Im done, it's time to upgrade. I was thinking about yours, but its just too big for me. It LOOKS awesome, but may be too big for me to do anything with."

    me: icon_eek.gif "Uh, excuse me?"

    friend: "LOL. Oops, I mean your PHONE, dude."

    icon_lol.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 8:08 PM GMT
    Carboholic saidfriend: "Im done, it's time to upgrade. I was thinking about yours, but its just too big for me. It LOOKS awesome, but may be too big for me to do anything with."

    me: icon_eek.gif "Uh, excuse me?"

    friend: "LOL. Oops, I mean your PHONE, dude."

    icon_lol.gif


    lol shame icon_razz.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 8:13 PM GMT
    (917)
    Someone at this party just said "go put a sock in a goose and fuck it"

    (917- ME)
    Well that may be perfectly appropriate. Is this a party for those that are into geese? As in "SHUT AND AND TAKE IT, GOOSE"

    (917)

    Well his friend did mention that geese hiss. Which made me wonder how he knew that, given the context...

    (917- ME)

    Maybe the geese hiss when your, um, new "friend" plays a little game called "dick dick, goose". LOL





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    Sep 05, 2010 8:17 PM GMT
    message from a photographer(who I only met once like 3 months ago for a test photoshoot)

    - Hey Alex! been a while, here r the pics u wanted to see! Had a great time last time...u had a great ass!

    - Im single now after 5 years but taking my time!..

    - Attachment of a pic where you can notice his boner shaping his pants
    - Attachment of close up of his cock fully hard.
    - Attachment of a shot where he is wearing jockstraps, again the hard on is there.



    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god
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    Sep 05, 2010 8:19 PM GMT
    charlitos saidmessage from a photographer(who I only met once like 3 months ago for a test photoshoot)

    - Hey Alex! been a while, here r the pics u wanted to see! Had a great time last time...u had a great ass!

    - Im single now after 5 years but taking my time!..

    - Attachment of a pic where you can notice his boner shaping his pants
    - Attachment of close up of his cock fully hard.
    - Attachment of a shot where he is wearing jockstraps, again the hard on is there.



    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god


    wow awkward hahaha
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:03 PM GMT
    This morning when I woke up.
    (619) Hun you're mailbox is full. <3 you.


    15 new DRUNK voicemails. ugh. Stupid Labor Weekend and people partying.
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:23 PM GMT
    Him: hey what are you up to?

    Me: relaxing and trying to recover from a head cold, looking at the hot men to try to recover faster.. what about you?

    Him: you are good looking. just looking to jo here and cant host...

    icon_lol.gificon_eek.gif
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:24 PM GMT
    charlitos saidmessage from a photographer(who I only met once like 3 months ago for a test photoshoot)

    - Hey Alex! been a while, here r the pics u wanted to see! Had a great time last time...u had a great ass!

    - Im single now after 5 years but taking my time!..

    - Attachment of a pic where you can notice his boner shaping his pants
    - Attachment of close up of his cock fully hard.
    - Attachment of a shot where he is wearing jockstraps, again the hard on is there.



    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god


    Is he hot? 3some?

    Mine are really dull "Am at the door. Let me in pls"
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:29 PM GMT
    charlitos saidmessage from a photographer(who I only met once like 3 months ago for a test photoshoot)

    - Hey Alex! been a while, here r the pics u wanted to see! Had a great time last time...u had a great ass!

    - Im single now after 5 years but taking my time!..

    - Attachment of a pic where you can notice his boner shaping his pants
    - Attachment of close up of his cock fully hard.
    - Attachment of a shot where he is wearing jockstraps, again the hard on is there.



    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god



    AHAHAHAHA!!icon_eek.gif


    That's awesome!
  • Moonraker

    Posts: 110

    Sep 06, 2010 6:03 AM GMT
    These get really funny! so keep it up! haha
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    Sep 06, 2010 6:14 AM GMT
    the txt was from my single days...A str8 acting guy and me...at a str8 bar, and went to my place....well the rest u will find out below...

    Him) Hey bro, just wanted to let you, that i'm str8 and nothing we did last night makes me gay in any shape or form

    Me... Lol, well taking me up your Ass, and your mouth at times...yea definitely, you are still str8, just not str8 in bed... LMAO...lol




    But two weeks later we hooked up again...icon_twisted.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2010 6:46 AM GMT
    my first date with a 39 yo man. after about 10 minutes of conversation...

    me: you seem to...(don't have time to finish)
    him: i love you!

    that wasn't very funny, that was creepy. icon_eek.gif
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Sep 06, 2010 4:00 PM GMT
    This guy I met with:

    Me: Are you hard?

    Him: Yes icon_cool.gif

    Me: let me see iticon_biggrin.gif

    Him: come get it

    Me: icon_razz.gif *unzips his pants*

    Me: YOU'RE NOT HARD!

    Him:...........yeah I am

    Me: icon_eek.gif I got to go
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2010 4:24 PM GMT
    Me: Meh! I'm hungover. How you be?

    A friend: Sorry bitch, I was working. The girl needs a quarter...
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 06, 2010 4:31 PM GMT
    charlitos saidmessage from a photographer(who I only met once like 3 months ago for a test photoshoot)

    - Hey Alex! been a while, here r the pics u wanted to see! Had a great time last time...u had a great ass!

    - Im single now after 5 years but taking my time!..

    - Attachment of a pic where you can notice his boner shaping his pants
    - Attachment of close up of his cock fully hard.
    - Attachment of a shot where he is wearing jockstraps, again the hard on is there.


    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god

    Were the pics good? I'd be Alex for a while, until he figures it out for himself. icon_wink.gif
  • Moonraker

    Posts: 110

    Sep 06, 2010 8:05 PM GMT
    913 - What did you do last night?

    405 - looked at porn. you should have come over

    913 - i was tired. sorry.

    405 - well porn doesn't get tired.

    913 - well when your computer can give you a hand job let me know.

    405 - It can. I'm on a Mac, there's an App for that.

    hahaha
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Sep 06, 2010 8:46 PM GMT
    charlitos said
    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god


    You just did. Sorry about that. Alex really did have a great ass, though. World class.
  • Space_Cowboy_...

    Posts: 3738

    Sep 07, 2010 9:07 AM GMT
    slimnmuscly said
    charlitos said
    I havent replied yet...I dont know how to tell him that Im not Alex...oh god


    You just did. Sorry about that. Alex really did have a great ass, though. World class.













    LOL icon_eek.gif