Why are bisexuals and transexuals not as accepted by many gays & lesbians?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:44 PM GMT
    I constantly get bombarded by gay and lesbian friends telling me I'm a "fence sitter" and that I need to choose one sex and stick with it. I enjoy both sexes why can't people just accept that? It pisses me off how judgmental gays and lesbians can be towards bisexuals.


    It also pisses me off how judgemental gays and lesbians can be towards transexuals and those who are transgendered. I've noticed on this forum that many guys aren't in favor of bisexuals or transexuals or any guy that looks like a woman! Why can't many of you just accept them? Is there any transexuals even on this forum? or drag queens? Didn't think so...
  • mcwclewis

    Posts: 1701

    Sep 05, 2010 9:47 PM GMT
    I'm completely supportive of transsexuals, bisexuals etc.


    I haven't noticed too many that aren't...



    maybe I'm just not reading the right threads to see the same thing?
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:53 PM GMT
    Sexuality is fluid. Almost everyone has "some" level of attraction to both genders. Those who say you "must" be one way or the other are in denial.
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    Sep 05, 2010 9:58 PM GMT
    mcwclewis saidI'm completely supportive of transsexuals, bisexuals etc.


    I haven't noticed too many that aren't...


    maybe I'm just not reading the right threads to see the same thing?



    I've noticed a few threads before where some guys have made negative comments against guys in drag or transexuals.

    I have a transexual friend who talks openly about her discrimination with a gay & lesbian organization in Ohio due to not looking "pretty" enough to be involved with a large speaking engagement so they hired a drag queen to do it instead.

    I've always felt there was a divide amongst GL/BT organizations. Many are in favor of gays and lesbians, but even some gays and lesbians aren't to keen or accepting of bisexuality or transexuality I've noticed. Maybe I'm just noticing it..or taken things wrong. I'm in ohio where everything is half-assed backwards as it is.
  • HankFit247

    Posts: 205

    Sep 05, 2010 11:15 PM GMT
    It all comes back to education, exposure, personal experience, and hearing first hand one personal story.
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    Sep 05, 2010 11:22 PM GMT
    i accept a lot of gays, bi's, and lesbians. i don't like it when even tho gay men like men, they don't have to dress up like girls. seriously.
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    Sep 05, 2010 11:38 PM GMT
    Because we always need to blindly discriminate a group of people, and these are next on the shit list.
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    Sep 05, 2010 11:39 PM GMT
    for the same reason that homosexuals are not accepted by straights, they are not as visible. icon_biggrin.gif (Bi guys because they typically don't say anything and transexuals because they are generally smaller in numbers.
  • BeingThePhoen...

    Posts: 1157

    Sep 05, 2010 11:41 PM GMT
    Because people like to put everything into neat little boxes. Anything that doesn't fix is OBVIOUSLY wrong!
  • zenny

    Posts: 229

    Sep 06, 2010 6:01 AM GMT
    I always thought being gay/bi is who you are both physically and mentally, not just who you fuck.
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    Sep 06, 2010 11:22 AM GMT
    BeingThePhoenix saidBecause people like to put everything into neat little boxes. Anything that doesn't fix is OBVIOUSLY wrong!



    pretty much bang on, the social majority like to know where everything stands and were it all fits.

    When you go against the current and strive to be different and your own, you get highlighted and ostracised for not conforming and fitting in.

    Hence why you get the 'gays' discriminating the different gays within their own group.

    Some strive for equality and acceptance from the mainstream and shed and mould themselves into what the mainstream deems as acceptable.

    therefore when someone within the group rocks the boat, they get lambasted for their uniqueness and individuality and not striving to fit in.

    I'll hold my hand up and say that i am guilty of it at times. I am getting much better at not being so up tight about it and get marginally jealous sometimes when i see those who stand out and be themselves and have the strength to not even take under their notice the discrimination, hatred and conformity that society has the misguided self of right to deem 'normal'.

    Strive always to be yourself, and who you deem happy and right to be.
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    Sep 06, 2010 11:56 AM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle saidI tend to get along best with transsexuals and bisexuals. Not that I intended it that way, it just seems to be the case.

    Gay men tend to be bitchy and I find them hard to tolerate. And lesbians tend to be threatened by me because I am a masculine man. What can I say I give lesbians a run for their money. icon_twisted.gif


    Funny enough, I have the same, I tend to meet alot of bi people... I consider myself bi-curious, gay preference... I have fully gay cousins, straight preferring bi-curious cousins, bi cousins, even a transgender cousin (lots of family).. so yeah, I dont see the problem

    And yes, I ve heard alot of judgemental things about us said by fully gay people Ive met, I do agree it is a problem
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    Sep 06, 2010 12:49 PM GMT
    paulflexes saidSexuality is fluid. Almost everyone has "some" level of attraction to both genders. Those who say you "must" be one way or the other are in denial.


    This. It's much more rare for someone to be 100% attracted to either sex than the likely case that they are attracted to both sexes to a certain degree.
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Sep 06, 2010 8:34 PM GMT
    Regarding bisexuals, many gays are skeptical as to whether they even really exist because so many of us thought of ourselves as bisexual at some point. It's a popular option on the coming-out installment plan. So it becomes all too easy when meeting someone identifying as bi to think, "Yeah, check back in a couple years and we'll talk."

    Bisexuals -- men, especially -- also have p.r. problems in that some really do live double lives, the fallout from which is what most of us tend to hear about. For whatever reasons, bisexuals simply haven't come out at anywhere near the same rate as gays and lesbians, making it incredibly easy for other people to define them. We don't see many role models for what a healthy, happy, openly bisexual life looks like. I've been out since high school and have lived in quite a few major cities, all with significant gay communities, and I'm hard pressed to think of anyone I know who has sustained an out, bisexual identity over a prolonged length of time. The lack of visibility can make bisexuals seem more like urban legends than real people with real lives.

    This probably puts the OP in the unenviable position of being one of the few, if not the only, bi guys his gay friends know. Hopefully he's not the only bi guy he knows.
  • KepaArg

    Posts: 1721

    Sep 06, 2010 8:40 PM GMT
    I accept bisexuals and transexuals. I wouldn't be open to dating either, but I would accept them as they are as friends and no more...well maybe a fuck here and there with a bi guy. icon_cool.gif
  • slimnmuscly

    Posts: 541

    Sep 06, 2010 8:50 PM GMT
    MuchMoreThanMuscle said
    What can I say I give lesbians a run for their money. icon_twisted.gif


    You mean you bring a moving van to the first date instead of the second? icon_razz.gif
  • commoncoll

    Posts: 1222

    Sep 06, 2010 8:55 PM GMT
    They are. Most gays and lesbians don't have a problem with bisexuals and transsexuals.
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    Sep 07, 2010 4:42 AM GMT
    Personally i have no issue with Bis or trans (Sexuals or genders).

    My beef is that i would never date a bisexual man. Why? Well, let's just say getting dumped by a Man for a Woman is not a pleasant experience icon_biggrin.gif

    As i say with a lot of things. Works for others, not for me.

    I won't judge Bisexuals or Trans. Datingwise though, not for me icon_smile.gif

    Otherwise, for friendships etc. Definately all for it.
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    Sep 09, 2010 1:48 AM GMT
    For bisexuals I would say there is fair bit of resentment because of two different perceptions. The first being that bi guys will hookup and mess around with guys but never own up to their true bi status. That's to say they'll put on a "straight" face while leading a bi life. A lot of guys that are secure in their sexuality can find this off putting. The second is that they really are gay but haven't delt with it, and this makes gay guys leery. This is not to say that there aren't openly bi guys on the up and up cause I'm sure there are.

    As for transgendered, I think it's a visibility thing and a complete lack of understanding when it comes to gender issues. There's a difference between sexuality and gender identity. Most of us don't have gender issues and it's the fear of the other that makes people turn a blind eye to their plight.

    IMO discrimination of transgenders is the fault of the lGBT community not doing enough to support those with gender identity issues. We have to stand up when we hear people deride them as trannies and shemales.
    On the bi side, I think bi guys have to take more responsibility for their lot in the sense that they have to call out their bi brothers who are content to live as a straight man with all it's advantages and yet stay on the DL when it comes to their same-sex attractions. If you're bi, then come out and make yourself visible, but don't try to have your cake and eat it while complaining that gay guys don't accept you.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:04 AM GMT
    Bisexuals are hot. I've always wanted to fuck a guy who is fucking a girl. It makes me vicariously straight. icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:13 AM GMT
    ChristopherIII saidI constantly get bombarded by gay and lesbian friends telling me I'm a "fence sitter" and that I need to choose one sex and stick with it. I enjoy both sexes why can't people just accept that? It pisses me off how judgmental gays and lesbians can be towards bisexuals.


    If you're "constantly" being bombarded, perhaps you're hanging out with the wrong people.