how do you say...?

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    Sep 06, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    i subscribe to another site and got an email from a guy with one of those pics that you can't tell what's going on...so we email a few times, just general talking, and he says he wants to play. the initial picture didn't look bad, but really inconclusive. so i have him send me a couple more pics...which he did.

    trouble is, he isn't my type. at. all. yeah, i know...shallow. but hey, i'm just bein' honest...and i'd rather be honest than lead him on further.

    so, how do i tell him that without making it personal? he is looking for a hook-up...this isn't just a "getting to know you" mixer. it isn't that he isn't good looking...just not my type. if this were in one of those "would you fuck the guy above you?" threads, i'd have to pass...

    you guys seem to be experts at this kind of stuff...so, any thoughts?
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    Sep 06, 2010 2:34 AM GMT
    rangard saidso, how do i tell him that without making it personal?
    You don't.
    Everyone takes rejection differently. No matter how you say it, someone will take offense.
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    Sep 06, 2010 2:39 AM GMT
    You're communicating via keyboard. It's not very personal. In fact it's very, very impersonal.

    80% of our communication is body language and prosodic cues. So, we kind of lack a bit when we write, chat, text back and forth. (if you want me to cite that I can)
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    Sep 06, 2010 2:45 AM GMT
    "You're so sweet and handsome; you know I consider you like a good friend or brother I never had."

    ...then, if the subject moves to sex...

    "Aww, I love that, but like I said once before, you're a bro to me, the feeling's not sexual." and change the subject. If he takes it badly, he loses something just as good. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
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    Sep 06, 2010 2:49 AM GMT
    hauptstimme saidYou're communicating via keyboard. It's not very personal. In fact it's very, very impersonal.

    80% of our communication is body language and prosodic cues. So, we kind of lack a bit when we write, chat, text back and forth. (if you want me to cite that I can)


    i've read this too...but, it's how we met. we're limited to communication via keyboard.
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    Sep 06, 2010 2:53 AM GMT
    meninlove said "You're so sweet and handsome; you know I consider you like a good friend or brother I never had."

    ...then, if the subject moves to sex...

    "Aww, I love that, but like I said once before, you're a bro to me, the feeling's not sexual." and change the subject. If he takes it badly, he loses something just as good. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug


    well, this is it basically, in a nut shell. it's the old, "it's not you, it's me," line...which is what the situation is in reality. still, it's easy to take that personally too.

    maybe i shouldn't care...?

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    Sep 06, 2010 3:30 AM GMT
    rangard said
    hauptstimme saidYou're communicating via keyboard. It's not very personal. In fact it's very, very impersonal.

    80% of our communication is body language and prosodic cues. So, we kind of lack a bit when we write, chat, text back and forth. (if you want me to cite that I can)


    i've read this too...but, it's how we met. we're limited to communication via keyboard.


    So therefore it's never really going to get personal until there is face-to-face communication. Maybe via video chat I suppose, but I don't think you should care. This kinda stuff happens all the time.

    Even if you just decided to never respond to him again, he'll get over it.
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    Sep 06, 2010 3:34 AM GMT
    meninlove said "You're so sweet and handsome; you know I consider you like a good friend or brother I never had."

    ...then, if the subject moves to sex...

    "Aww, I love that, but like I said once before, you're a bro to me, the feeling's not sexual." and change the subject. If he takes it badly, he loses something just as good. icon_wink.gif

    -Doug
    And if someone said that to me, I'd say "oh just tell me you think I'm ugly as fuck. It won't be the first time." icon_lol.gif