Best friend to Best friend with Benefits to maybe boyfriend?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2010 8:30 PM GMT
    ok please bare with me I have a tendency to rant! icon_redface.gif

    So last year, my best friend in the world and I started to "experiment" sexually with each other, as of my idea. I say experiment only because we were both virgins and he was "Straight". It started with blow jobs then let to sex. It was and still is alot of fun and our friendship didn't really change at all, cept when one of is horny lol
    He used to joke about being with a guy, and I would do stuff like punch him and say "The only guy you can do anything is with me!" and he would just say "ok" and kinda laugh. Then it progressed to him joking talking about trying to date a guy and id do the same thing punch him and tell him "The only guy you can date is me!" and he would just say "ok" and kinda laugh.
    He recently told me that he has always know he was Bi, since 12 like me, and that he wanted to mess around as much as I did. Now every now and then (usually when hes not around) I start thinking about dating him, it was ok when he was "Straight" because I knew there was no chance of anything but now.....

    I recently started dating a guy at my best friend's suggestion. Hes alright, he alot like my best friend personality wise, which kinda drives my best friend insane a little bit and saying stuff to me like "I'ma have to dominate him now to show him I'm way better than him" and "Its weird you found another guy like me." Yet he keeps wanting me to sleep with him (he lives vicariously thru me and we tell each other everything) . My best friend recently went on a trip he texted me about "how bad he needed release" and jokingly I asked what kind he said "I need ass icon_sad.gif " I told him that he could have mine as much as he wanted when he got back, but he told me he couldnt wait, the urge was to intense that he would find someone up there (you see he has been hiking alot and exercise makes his hormones go wild). I kinda had a cow, and pleaded him not to, saying that I was the only want he should be having sex with. He said it wouldn't be sex just some heavy groping and a Bj. I told him I still really didn't want him to and he said he would do his best to control himself.. I can't stand the thought of him having sex with someone else..even thought I kinda like the idea, since we tell each other everything the story would be cool, but Im sure it would make me upset also...I later apologized for how I acted and he said it was ok not to worry about it because he understood (I get emotional alot)

    I like the guy I'm dating now, altho it just doesn't feel completly right.. but I still think about how much fun me and my best friend have... I've also thought about telling him...I'm mean we've been there for each other at our worse when no one else could stand us or want to be around us and been there for the awesomeness as well,We talk about everything, were so close alot of people think we're already dating.....Im just so scared I might loose him or things might get weird, even the thought of it gets me all choked up!

    Comments and or Advice? icon_sad.gif

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 07, 2010 9:07 PM GMT
    Sounds like to got yourself in a pickle by listening to your "friends" who told you to date someone else.
    Now you'll have to get yourself out of it. All I can do is laugh at the stupidity of it all.
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    Sep 07, 2010 9:16 PM GMT
    I enjoy dating this guy, he was only involved in the suggestion of it cause I was 100% for sure of it after the first day, anywho thats not to point of this...icon_cool.gif
  • MidwesternKid

    Posts: 1167

    Sep 07, 2010 11:52 PM GMT
    My only suggestion is to follow your heart. Take the time to really think about things and not jump into anything until you are absolutely sure.
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    Sep 08, 2010 1:25 AM GMT
    Thanks icon_smile.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 1:36 AM GMT
    wow sounds like a great friendship!! Must be nice!! Good luck!
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 1:44 AM GMT
    ya he's the best and it is a great friendship, wish my stupid emotions weren't messin with it
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 1:49 AM GMT
    Sounds like you painted yourself in a corner with this one and you sound kinda possessive even if you haven't realized and mean it in a jokingly way. It's sorta cute but at the same kind a chickish

    Here's the skinny. Try dating your best friend or just accept the fact that you won't be able to date him. Your best friend doesn't sound to open to dating you anyway but seems fine with just fucking you. FYI....a bj is sexual. You make it sound like a common handshake. It isn't

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 1:58 AM GMT
    Oh I know possessive! I'd like to try dating but I just don't want to risk ruining anything...and he said the stuff bout the Bj not me, I know its sexual...

  • tuffguyndc

    Posts: 4437

    Sep 08, 2010 2:28 AM GMT
    here the deal and i wish people understood this. the ideal situation would be to have your bf or partner as your best friend. i mean that is how i see it. however, you have to be honest with your friend and tell him how you feel. however, i suggest you tell the guy you dating first. i mean you need to let him know what is going on and how you feel about your friend. i wish you luck buddy and like one of the others stated. go with your heart.
  • cromi

    Posts: 489

    Sep 08, 2010 2:41 AM GMT
    nice story. that's all i'm gonna say. nice STORY.
    oh wait, alot is not a word sorry. icon_sad.gif
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 2:47 AM GMT
    You have a boyfriend: your best friend. You are not permitting him to date or fuck other people but you feel free to date or fuck others and continue you to do so even if "they don't feel right".

    You can't do this. You are playing with your best friend/boyfriend's emotions and your nominal boyfriend's emotions. Knock it off. You have to sit down and take inventory with yourself. How do you feel about your friend. How do you feel about your not-boyfriend. What do you want.

    From what you have written it sounds like you are in love with your best friend/boyfriend. Why can't you date him? You are already demanding sexual and emotional monogamy from him so it is a small step to actual relationship.
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    Sep 08, 2010 2:50 AM GMT
    MunchingZombie saidYou have a boyfriend: your best friend. You are not permitting him to date or fuck other people but you feel free to date or fuck others and continue you to do so even if "they don't feel right".

    You can't do this. You are playing with your best friend/boyfriend's emotions and your nominal boyfriend's emotions. Knock it off. You have to sit down and take inventory with yourself. How do you feel about your friend. How do you feel about your not-boyfriend. What do you want.

    From what you have written it sounds like you are in love with your best friend/boyfriend. Why can't you date him? You are already demanding sexual and emotional monogamy from him so it is a small step to actual relationship.

    This.

    Don't fuck with people's emotions, you will regret it immensely.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 2:54 AM GMT
    The only emotions being messed with are mine, I like the guy I'm dating and my best friend
  • jlly_rnchr

    Posts: 1759

    Sep 08, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    It sounds like you two already are dating, but in an open relationship. You have another boy on the side, he can grope while on vacation.

    Officially dating him could royally screw up the friendship, and at your age, I think a best friend is more important (and a more pragmatic option) than living happily ever after with him. Revisit this in five or six years.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2010 1:57 AM GMT
    Ty guys
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    Sep 09, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    kevinsbeach said
    If you get involved with your best friend romantically and it doesn't work out, it could be the end of your friendship. If anything, it won't ever be the same again, even if you do talk.


    Would it really? Even if sex hasn't changed anything? icon_sad.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 4:31 AM GMT
    heretotalk said
    kevinsbeach said
    If you get involved with your best friend romantically and it doesn't work out, it could be the end of your friendship. If anything, it won't ever be the same again, even if you do talk.


    Would it really? Even if sex hasn't changed anything? icon_sad.gif
    Sex always changes things, even if slightly.
    Some people can keep the change separate from the friendship; some can't.
    There's only one way to find out.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 09, 2010 10:09 PM GMT
    So ive been thinking, and I realize my situation is similar to a pair of friend me and my best friend have, There also the best of friend, friends with benefits and are kinda exclusive. They've both tried dating but nothing ever works out rlly. So maybe it can work out for me too? icon_confused.gif
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    Sep 10, 2010 8:06 PM GMT
    maybe? ... Sorry for the many posts, I'm used to talking about everything on the planet with my best friend so its very harsh having no one to hash things out with... icon_redface.gif