BEING SINGLE?!? You down?

  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 3:22 PM GMT
    So lately, I've been noticing that being single is less complicated as of right now. I suppose at the age of 28, my focus has completely shifted into my career & hobbies (yes, I know...say it - you're young).

    However, am I open to dating or having a serious relationship? Of course! I would love to have a partner for life/monogamous relationship but lately I haven't felt the sparks fly! Maybe I suppose having my heart crushed a while back, I'm "possibly" not ready to give someone 100% or am I? I suppose it’s a never-ending battle of the Circle of Relationship Life. Is this positive thinking?

    Regardless of how I feel...I notice a lot of guys have in many forms felt/expressed the same. I suppose we ask ourselves: What intrigues us now? What makes us consider things twice? Do gay men just want the superficial appearance for life? Career Success matter? How do we carry on and reevaluate ourselves? Why does this happen to me? or... Am I a slut? (Lmao - JK!)

    Anyhow...this is just my random rant for the month. I'd love to hear what you think or your insight - be a smartass if you need, but I would love your real "sincere" thoughts... (have a go).
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    Sep 08, 2010 8:38 PM GMT
    I can relate to this in a way...but for me, technically single right now but I'm kinda talking to someone (if that makes sense)...

    Meeting a potential guy was kind of an obsession last year for me. While I did meet some great guys in the process, nothing long term came out of it. As a result, I lost focus from my career (something that has always been my greatest joy in the past). I LOVE what I do for a living. So once I stopped the guy search this year, I focused back on career.

    Shortly after, I started hanging out with a guy that I met through work years ago. We'd seen each other in Gay bars before so we knew about each other. I'd always had a crush on him but never thought anything would come of it. Partly due to self esteem issues, he's hott!

    We started going to the movies, drinks at bars, all-nighter conversations, even watching True Blood together (I hate that show, smh) and even some intimacy thrown in...While I guess we're technically not "dating", the times we spend together could be seen as dates if you were a fly on the wall...

    We don't hangout everyday or every week even and for all I know he could be seeing other guys...but I'm okay with that...While I look forward to getting to know him more, not having the expectations I carried all last year make things less complicated. We may wake up one day as boyfriends...or maybe remain as just friends...either way is okay.

    Why? Because of the re-evaluations that you mentioned...By focusing back on my career, I'm now (sorta) dating a guy that I like with no pressure, titles or expectations.
  • Posted by a hidden member.
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    Sep 08, 2010 8:57 PM GMT
    "If you can't be happy with yourself, it's unfair to expect someone else to be happy with you."
    That's my view on being single, or attached. icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:42 AM GMT
    Indy404 - well said and another way of looking at it.

    Paulflexs - yes yes...we all know this - of course I know I love myself - that's why I'm a strong person (generally speaking).
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:45 AM GMT
    paulflexes said"If you can't be happy with yourself, it's unfair to expect someone else to be happy with you."
    That's my view on being single, or attached. icon_biggrin.gif


    This is valid. However, I really think my current boyfriend saved me from some very destructive feelings and behaviors. I shudder to think where I would be if I had been single the past 3 years.
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:54 AM GMT
    The day you realize a real relationship is more than just sex you will stop worring about being single, and think more about sharing your life with someone else! I love being single when I am but I love it even more when I am sharing my life with someone special.


    Leandro ♥
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:58 AM GMT
    i dont know what youre talking about, we already have our wedding dates set and everything... ;).
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    Sep 09, 2010 4:03 AM GMT
    ive have had two 8-year gay marriages. been single a year n a half. n i havent hooked up with anyone since the beginning of this year. i took me awhile n now im gettin used to being by myself. tho theres are times when it still sucks. lol.
  • MrNomis

    Posts: 268

    Sep 09, 2010 4:08 AM GMT
    i happen to enjoy being single lately.. there is too much drama in relationships and if both parties are not willing to make it work then it all comes down to being single anyways... i am in the stage where i want substance and want to make sure too i stay disease free.. guys just want to have sex and not really into a relationship because they want their cake and eat it too.. give it time and when it happens it will happen on its on.. but i must agree that you must love yourself and also be happy with your life in general before you can share it with anyone else..
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    Sep 09, 2010 4:14 AM GMT
    i never had success dating, but i've been excellent at sabotaging potential relationships.
    being at the "late" end of the spectrum all i can say is i'm generally fine with it
    i just need not to think about it too much icon_rolleyes.gif