When did you start crushing on guys?

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    Sep 09, 2010 12:15 AM GMT
    Hey guys, wondered if those of you with more experience could answer a question for me.

    I am only attracted to male bodies and hooking up with dudes. But I have yet to even crush or have feelings for a guy.

    I've always crushed on girls ever since I can remember though, I fall for them pretty hard and get jealous if they ever hooked up with other guys, even though they don't turn me on physically in the slightest. I love how cute they are and how their femininity plays off my masculinity, and I love doing romantic things with them. But vaginas and breasts? They just gross me out.

    It's only in the past few months that I've really accepted to myself that I'm into hooking up with dudes, although I think I've suspected it for some time. I'm wondering am I always doomed to be on this ridiculous Kinsey Scale separation, or were there others who used to crush on girls but eventually ended up into dudes romantically as well?
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:18 AM GMT
    I have never "crushed" on girls or guys. Like you, I just enjoy the male physique.
    But there is one difference: I bond much closer with male friends, regardless of whether or not there are benefits involved.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:32 AM GMT
    Does crushing on Luke Skywalker when I was 8 count?icon_cool.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    cold saidIf you're so attracted to femininity, the question is - are you attracted to 'feminine' guys?


    No...actually the opposite. That's why I mentioned the Kinsey scale, emotionally and romantically I love cute, fun girls, but sexually I prefer masculine men...feminine men do nothing for me. I was wondering if anybody had their romantic attractions evolve over time to meet their sexual attractions. It's the last piece of the puzzle to my sexuality.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:33 AM GMT
    I think some gay guys, i don't know the number, prefer to hang with girls, i have friends on RJ like that, they enjoy the company better. They are sexually attracted to guys. You're new on the team, so am I. but i have loved both sexes all my life and can live with either, i just find guys much more stimulating sexually, not necessarily mentally, but like paul, i'd probably enjoy hanging with the guys more, as long as they were gay.....icon_wink.gif keith
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:40 AM GMT
    I find I am in the same boat as you. I also tried to be attracted to girls, and I love girls who are very feminine. I was even engaged to be married last year. I always knew I was attracted to guys though, I am attracted to very masculine men, and I only recently accepted it as truth. Sadly still not out about it. I definately find the difference in attraction to men and women interesting and confusing.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:41 AM GMT
    I didn't figure out I was gay until I was a few years older than you. In retrospect, I'm surprised I didn't figure it out earlier. Like you, I had crushes on girls. I also had crushes on guys though. It took me some time to come to terms with realizing my feelings for guys were stronger and the reason that I even thought about settling down with a girl is because that was the model society kept pushing on me. It could be that you've been so conditioned by what society, as a whole, pushes as the way you should live your life that you haven't allowed yourself to really feel as much for a guy as you could.

    You're still young. Allow yourself to explore and give yourself some time to find out what feels right for you.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:43 AM GMT
    I started out just like you. When I as younger I used to be really into girls with a slight interest in guys. I'm 26, the first time I was with a guy was 24. But it's like the more I indulge it seems like the attraction is reversing, so now I'm more attracted to men with a very slight attraction to females(only the very pretty ones). Hope this helps.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    I used to have crushes on both girls and guys. . . though definitely it was more guys than girls.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:50 AM GMT
    I actually started having a crush on guys in the first grade. Seriously. And I still get crushes on guys, and occasionally fall in love with them, usually unrequited.
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    Sep 09, 2010 12:52 AM GMT
    From your post it seems like it took you a long time to come to terms with being sexually attracted to guys. Likewise it's going to take you some time to sort out your emotional side. However, I'd bet you've already crushed on a guy, but couldn't or wouldn't see it.
    Have you never admired another guy and wanted to be his bud? Never had a guy friend you loved hanging out with? Those feeling can be crushes.

    Above all dude, you're just now coming to terms with some major things, so don't worry too much right now about where you are on the scale, because as you'll learn sooner or later it doesn't really matter.

    To answer your question more directly, looking back, I had crushes on guys early on that I wasn't able to aknowledge. I also had crushes on girls, which looking back were more a way to fit in. For me time has has a way of clarifying my perceptions. When you're coming out you play a lot of mind games with yourself.
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    Sep 09, 2010 1:05 AM GMT
    When I was 8 or so.
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    Sep 09, 2010 1:24 AM GMT
    First grade icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:27 AM GMT
    age 10 or so
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:30 AM GMT
    7th grade. I had such a crush on two twin boys.
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    2 years ago.
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    Sep 09, 2010 2:31 AM GMT
    to answer the question, i was 13 when i started liking guys

    maybe you should try dating a guy. and then see where it goes. maybe you guys don't always need to hook up, but also see if you can connect with a guy. good luck
  • whenitrains

    Posts: 43

    Sep 09, 2010 2:44 AM GMT
    Its normal for guys in their teens to fantasize about other dudes sexually. There comes a time in someone's sexual life where they mature, and construct their sexual identity meaning they identify themselves as male, and as gay - somethings keeping you attached to a romantic view of women.

    Sleeping with men has fulfilled that fantasy and maybe you can fully say you are gay... have you attempted a relationship with men?

    Maybe you are just more comfortable with 'romanticizing', with a woman because of social construct? Maybe you're not comfortable with 'dating/being in a relationship with a guy'? Try going on a romantic date with a dude. Are you comfortable with that?
  • safety43_mma1...

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    Sep 09, 2010 3:06 AM GMT
    i would say 8 or 9
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:11 AM GMT
    8
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:24 AM GMT
    13, on Peter. Crushed on him all the way through high school.
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    6
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:25 AM GMT
    I think it started when I was 6 yo in 1st grade.
    I had a crush on my English teacher (male) and classmate (female).
    I wasn't sexually attracted to my classmate, just admired her beauty and sweet but shy personality.
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:26 AM GMT
    Summer before junior year of HS. Josh was my first boy crush icon_biggrin.gif
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    Sep 09, 2010 3:27 AM GMT
    I remember crushing on guys since I was 3 or 4.
    My first mancrush was John f Kennedy! When I read that he was already dead, I cried for days! My mom couldnt figure out why.
    Then when I was, I think 11 or 14(?), Tom Selleck was my Dream Man. I guess thats where I developed my taste for muscular, hirsute men. icon_wink.gif